[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Ben

Oh, give it a rest now. You just said we'd leave it at that, but no, you have to have the last word and try start it up again. I have said what I needed to, I don't need to keep trying justifying my opinions to you or anyone even if I do share them on here, and I don't appreciate you keeping on about my opinions, I'm not keeping on about yours. And me sanctimonious, because I place a higher regard for an unborn child over a glass of wine? If you feel like that maybe you have issues with feeling morally inferior?

So let's agree to do what you suggested and leave it at this shall we, or is that beyond you currently?

You didn't leave it ben you made another quite grandiose statement about the situation.
What are 'issues with feeling morally inferior'?
125ml of wine with a meal is fine, the barperson overreacted and created this situation.
Nothing is 'beyond me currently'
If you got cross as I said you sounded sanctamonious sorry.

[Kizzy]

I just can't believe it....
So her opinion (being the one carrying the child)
Whoever else she consulted over this, research done, counts for nothing as the the voice of this man who works in a bar is more viable?
If he thinks that alcohol is so incredibly dangerous even in such low quantities why does he work in a bar?

[Ninastar]

^ because not everyone he serves is 9 months pregnant

[thesheriff443]

in this case the bar man was discriminating against her because she was pregnant which is wrong.
for all the women that are agreeing with the bar man, put your self in her position! it would not have been an issue if the husband would of ordered the drink.
we should disregard pregnant women?

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I just can't believe it....
So her opinion (being the one carrying the child)
Whoever else she consulted over this, research done, counts for nothing as the the voice of this man who works in a bar is more viable?
If he thinks that alcohol is so incredibly dangerous even in such low quantities why does he work in a bar?

it does make you wonder on here!

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

^ because not everyone he serves is 9 months pregnant

As said he could have countless times served pregnant women without even realising.
If he really was so against the concept of being the one to serve alcohol why put yourself in that position?

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

As said he could have countless times served pregnant women without even realising.
If he really was so against the concept of being the one to serve alcohol why put yourself in that position?

he could also serve someone that then goes and drives home knocking down a pregnant woman!
what a hypocrite!

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

As said he could have countless times served pregnant women without even realising.
If he really was so against the concept of being the one to serve alcohol why put yourself in that position?

because this time it was totally obvious that she was pregnant.

[Cherie]

I wonder how many of the men outraged at this woman having a small glass of wine with her meal, have given up for 9 months in solidarity with their partner or even in the months before conception (if they were trying to have a child), took supplements, excercised and basically led an exemplery lifestyle so that their sperm is in tip top condition.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Cherie

I wonder how many of the men outraged at this woman having a small glass of wine with her meal, have given up for 9 months in solidarity with their partner or even in the months before conception (if they were trying to have a child) so that their sperm is in tip top condition.

im tee total and always have been, so my sperm are usain bolts of the sperm world,lol

[Marc]

I'd have given her a small drink and then looked up quickly at the legal limit for a pregnant lady and either refused or allowed a second.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

im tee total and always have been, so my sperm are usain bolts of the sperm world,lol

indeed but it is not just alcohol that can affect the quality, diet and excercise are also important so I hope you adhered to the strict guidelines laid down by the government on this...if there are any? oh wait...

[MeMyselfAndI]

I personally think anyone who drinks when heavily pregnant is very selfish, and this woman is not only that but she just wants her story spread round everywhere, such an attention seeker

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by MeMyselfAndI

I personally think anyone who drinks when heavily pregnant is very selfish, and this woman is not only that but she just wants her story spread round everywhere, such an attention
seeker

It is more important to avoid alcohol in the first trimester due to the foetus being in the developmental stage.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

I wonder how many of the men outraged at this woman having a small glass of wine with her meal, have given up for 9 months in solidarity with their partner or even in the months before conception (if they were trying to have a child), took supplements, excercised and basically led an exemplery lifestyle so that their sperm is in tip top condition.

But why does it have to be such a problem that the partner would have to stop drinking it too?

If you struggle to go without alcohol for a few months then there are a few problems that need addressing.

[Z]

Originally Posted by anniek76

Lol....I really don't think she was desperate for a drink...her issue is more about being humiliated (in her mind) by a stranger in public. Her hormones by this time in her pregnancy will be in overdrive so critism and conflict are harder to deal with.

I'd also be inclined to say that her wild hormones are what prompted her to turn this into a national news story... this really isn't a big deal at all - the barman didn't refuse her service to upset her, he did it out of concern for her unborn child's well being - if that makes him a horrible person in her eyes then that's her problem, I'm sure he'd rather go to bed knowing that he hasn't given alcohol to a pregnant woman than give in to her demands for a glass of wine. I'm personally shocked that she's been drinking throughout her pregnancy, it's well documented that drinking alcohol when you're pregnant isn't advised - using the whole thing of moderation like it were some kind of fad diet is total horse **** in my opinion - don't drink, smoke, do drugs and eat as balanced and healthy a diet as possible if you're really concerned about the well being of your unborn child. A glass of red wine isn't part of your daily recommended intake, so why chance it? It's irresponsible in my opinion.

[Vicky.]

My midwife told me that a few glasses of wine (a week) was perfectly fine.

And that its actually recommended that some women have a drink of guiness every week or so to help with iron levels.

This barperson sounds a twat.

Though if she was caning the drink, I would have refused too..but one drink takes the piss

[Z]

Originally Posted by Cherie

It is more important to avoid alcohol in the first trimester due to the foetus being in the developmental stage.

While I don't doubt that this is true - the whole concept of a foetus, and latterly a baby, is that it is permanently in a developmental stage until, you know, you reach adulthood... and this woman's even admitted that she's had alcohol in the first 12 weeks of her pregnancy, knowingly...

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

It is more important to avoid alcohol in the first trimester due to the foetus being in the developmental stage.

Yup, this too.

[Ammi]

..I don’t believe she was selfish in that if we’re to believe what she says and there is no reason not to, then she was very responsible in her alcohol intake and genuinely believed that it wasn’t harmful to her unborn child..she also had the choice to give up completely which she didn’t take but instead chose to have a moderate amount a few times a week..these were all her own choices to make and completely within her control and possibly quite safe...but every choice isn’t hers to make and it was never her choice whether someone would serve her that alcohol...in this case it was the choice of that barman and he made his choice which he was completely in his rights to do....maybe she didn’t like that other people in life also have choices and sometimes they may conflict with what she wants and her own decisions but none of us have control over everything that happens in life...so in forum words..seriously, get over it...save your energy for those sleepless nights and the exhaustion that can be new parenthood...

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Zee

While I don't doubt that this is true - the whole concept of a foetus, and latterly a baby, is that it is permanently in a developmental stage until, you know, you reach adulthood... and this woman's even admitted that she's had alcohol in the first 12 weeks of her pregnancy, knowingly...

The end of the first trimester appears to be the period when alcohol can wreak the most havoc on fetal development, causing physical deformities as well as behavioral and cognitive symptoms, according to research in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2012/01/1...#ixzz2gI7kDlDY

[Shaun]

I'm so bored of this overprotective BS. If it ends up damaging the child then it's her problem, nobody else's. All of this "I should stop her from buying something potentially harmful to the child" nonsense... so does that mean she shouldn't be able to buy kitchen knives? Paracetamol? Cars? I mean cars might lead to the death of both mother and foetus, so they're more dangerous, right?

It's so much weight put on what "might" be harmful to the child (and since that medical advice varies from midwife to midwife, and doctors, as Vicky pointed out) when really, what this boils down to is a man failing to do his job.

[Kizzy]

Wow that's a lot of choices....
She was humiliated by a person who knew little or nothing about the 'effects' which appear to be at best negligible.
Many doctors and midwives advocated guinness and mackesons stout during pregnancy, and the British Heart Foundation suggest 1 125ml red wine beneficial...
There is conflicting advice but the real issue is again down to our British attitude to alcohol, that it is something to have when you want to get ****faced and thats it.....
If you travelled to France Italy or Germany what would their attitude be?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Shaun

*also read Batman *



If he were the father I'd agree, but he's nothing to do with the customer and shouldn't be restricting service because he thinks it's best. Just doesn't make sense to me. Patronising busy-bodiness.

[Z]

Originally Posted by Shaun

I'm so bored of this overprotective BS. If it ends up damaging the child then it's her problem, nobody else's. All of this "I should stop her from buying something potentially harmful to the child" nonsense... so does that mean she shouldn't be able to buy kitchen knives? Paracetamol? Cars? I mean cars might lead to the death of both mother and foetus, so they're more dangerous, right?

It's so much weight put on what "might" be harmful to the child (and since that medical advice varies from midwife to midwife, and doctors, as Vicky pointed out) when really, what this boils down to is a man failing to do his job.

Kitchen knives are for chopping. Paracetamol is for pain. Cars are for transport. Alcohol is for getting drunk. There is a marked difference between an item that could secondarily cause adverse effects and something that has a primary objective of messing up the human body. A bar is inclined to not serve you if it thinks serving you will cause it problems - whether that be a too-drunk-18-year-old or a heavily-pregnant-mother-to-be. Foetal alcohol syndrome is an actual thing. It's common knowledge that getting drunk while you're pregnant is frowned upon. The barman made his choice and most people think he was right to do so - he didn't serve her because he thought it would be wrong to do so. He didn't not serve her just to embarrass her. He didn't fail to do his job, rather he did his job properly - he didn't give alcohol to someone he felt shouldn't be drinking alcohol.