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31-10-2017, 12:16 PM
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Banned
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Cheeky little buggers round here! A young lad just knocked my door and said, "Trick or Treat?" I said, “it's not Halloween yet, and what have you come as?" He said, "A werewolf." I said, "but you haven't got a costume on, you're just in normal clothes." He said, "Well it's not a full moon yet is it dickhead."
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03-11-2017, 07:45 AM
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Banned
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The mrs wanted to play drs and nurses ...so i put her on a trolley and ignored her for 2 days ..
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09-11-2017, 09:53 AM
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Senior Member
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Quote:
 Keep them coming parmy,lol
__________________
 RIP Pyramid, Andyman ,Kerry and Lex xx https://www.facebook.com/JamesBulgerMT/?fref=photo "If slaughterhouses had glass walls, most people would be vegetarian" Last edited by Kazanne; 09-11-2017 at 09:54 AM. |
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09-11-2017, 07:13 AM
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Banned
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Just been told my girlfriends pregnant ...my mate said has anything changed ...I said my address and phone number and my hairstyle
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10-11-2017, 02:22 PM
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Banned
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Just watch trump unite the world...mark my words...
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10-11-2017, 07:09 PM
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Banned
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You try and be nice by complementing someone on the effort they've made for Movember, and suddenly shes not your friend anymore?!? WTF??
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10-11-2017, 11:57 PM
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Banned
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i wonder if corbyn is happy with the arrest of the ex British soldier today for the events on bloody Sunday in 1972. not as happy as seeing his 2 pals Adams and miguiness sauntering about Scot free i assume!
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10-11-2017, 11:58 PM
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#8 | ||
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Banned
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Jeremy spunky sock guscott. Please shut up, you're a disgrace.
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10-11-2017, 11:58 PM
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#9 | ||
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Banned
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Hamilton off, hopefully he never ever comes back on ever again.
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10-11-2017, 11:59 PM
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#10 | ||
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Banned
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Tv licence! That's for your tv, right? Would it no be possible to make something that has all the gubbins a tv has but just call it a bob or something!
Last edited by Parmy; 11-11-2017 at 12:01 AM. |
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10-11-2017, 11:59 PM
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#11 | ||
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Banned
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Toiletries.must remember toiletries.
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11-11-2017, 12:00 AM
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#12 | ||
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Banned
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Bracing myself for all the pathetic gushing at the new john lewis xmas advert.
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13-11-2017, 07:06 AM
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#13 | ||
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Banned
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Wow, Alice Cooper in the jungle.......oh wait, it's Fatima Whitbread.
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15-11-2017, 11:39 AM
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I <3 Amber, My dream wife
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Quote:
__________________
Bulgaria my esc26 favourite Chalga queen diva DARA |
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25-11-2017, 07:05 AM
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#15 | ||
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Banned
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So you're sitting there in 1443 in the pitch black at night ...looking up at a huge full moon cause there's nothing on the candle in this wind..aw surprised at finding out the world is round...aye ok columbus...you proved us aw wrong, we thought it was flat after years of staring at that round thing up there.
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15-11-2017, 08:00 AM
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#16 | ||
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Banned
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What kind of eejit buys a book for their kindle when they already have it in paperback! What's that aw aboot?
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26-11-2017, 10:52 AM
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#17 | ||
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Banned
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The tape of the actual 911 call made by Michael Jacksons doctor has just been released. Dr Murray says, "I need help Michael's collapsed". Operator says, "Have you started CPR?". Dr Murray says, "no!". Operator says, "have you started a defibrillator?". Again the doctor says, "No!".
Operator says, "well you wanna be starting something, you got to be starting something!" |
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30-11-2017, 10:36 AM
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Flag shagger.
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Quote:
__________________
If I'm not responding, it's because I'm ignoring their nonsense. |
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01-12-2017, 07:26 AM
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#19 | ||
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Banned
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Quote:
 can't even be bothered to make a facebook status today!! |
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27-11-2017, 07:26 AM
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Banned
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Wish I could drag a body out a boot and bury it in 6ft of earth then run home all in the space of 10 mins, oh and also do it all outside the busiest square in the eastend....Pile o pish so it is.
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30-11-2017, 08:05 AM
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#21 | ||
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Banned
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Mystery of the day: why does the woman who posts she's having something to eat at least 8 times a day, in every status, never post a picture?
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02-12-2017, 06:50 PM
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#22 | ||
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Banned
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A teacher says to her class, "can anyone give me a sentence with the word dandelion in it".
A little Ugandan lad puts up his hand. "Yes Patrick" says the teacher... A grinning Patrick says "Da cheetah is faster dandelion miss". Last edited by Parmy; 02-12-2017 at 06:54 PM. |
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05-12-2017, 08:09 AM
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#23 | ||
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Banned
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Difficult week at work this week, tracey from accounts reported a fellow work colleugue on monday for saying her hair smelled nice on three different days last week..i had to tell her there was nothing wrong with him saying that...unfortunatly the guy ****ed up a massive contract so i had to let him go on wednesday....im gonna miss midget mike, he was a good worker.
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09-12-2017, 06:02 PM
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#24 | ||
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Banned
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I dont like the term anal bleaching, i much prefer changing your ringtone
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14-12-2017, 07:46 AM
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Banned
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Quick tip...do not laugh at your girlfriend if she puts her hand in something gooey whilst changing her son's bed!
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