[Luanda]

With just 24 hours of Big Brother left before the final tomorrow night, the gay community in north Dorset are up in arms at the lack of any housemates who are gay. John Franklin, of Gay Dorset, today told the North Dorset Telegraph he was shocked that the British public had voted all the gay housemates out of the house leaving only straight men and a busty blonde in the Big Brother house. Mr Franklin added, "I just cannot believe that there is not one gay left in the house this year. Myself and my partner John won't be watching the final tomorrow night in protest, we will bake a cake instead".

A spokesperson for Channel 4 declined to comment but did say a daisy chain was formed late last night in the house in response to the lack of gay smears.

Julian Cleary was unavailable for comment.

[MiuMiu]

John Franklin, of Gay Dorset, is stupid.

[jgfrise]

Ridiculous article - waste of a post!

[merv]

"A spokesperson for Channel 4 declined to comment but did say a daisy chain was formed late last night in the house in response to the lack of gay smears. "

Daisy Chain!!?? It's fake Grass there are no Daisy's.

[jgfrise]

Ridiculous article - waste of a post!

[Ghostinthehouse]

It's a joke surely. Get it?

RLMAO.

[hennessy]

[rquote=2531781&tid=145885&author=Luanda]With just 24 hours of Big Brother left before the final tomorrow night, the gay community in north Dorset are up in arms at the lack of any housemates who are gay. John Franklin, of Gay Dorset, today told the North Dorset Telegraph he was shocked that the British public had voted all the gay housemates out of the house leaving only straight men and a busty blonde in the Big Brother house. Mr Franklin added, "I just cannot believe that there is not one gay left in the house this year. Myself and my partner John won't be watching the final tomorrow night in protest, we will bake a cake instead".

A spokesperson for Channel 4 declined to comment but did say a daisy chain was formed late last night in the house in response to the lack of gay smears.

Julian Cleary was unavailable for comment. [/rquote]
:l augh2:

[Luanda]

An emergency meeting of the Birmingham Union of Men (BUM) was convened earlier today in response to the growing controversey. A spokesman for BUM said, "It really is shocking there are no gays in the Big Brother final tomorrow. It has shocked us all, we demand some sort of enquiry at Channel 4. We had a vote and all our members will be boycotting the show tomorrow night and will do a little bit of hoovering at home followed by a small glass of sherry.

Jane Grant of Channel 4, in response to the claims said, "We don't know how long the queue is at KFC but viewers can be rest assured that we will wait as long as is necessary".

Julian Cleary declined to comment.

[Benjamin]

LOL. I thought this article was real at first until I got to the bake a cake part.

[Luanda]

As the furore grows over the lack of gay housemates an insider at Channel 4 who refused to be named said, "I can't really help you mate, it was 3rd on the left but I think we missed the turn". Unable to control his growing anger the insider added, "It was there last week but somebody must have moved it". Fans of the Big Brother housemates were furiously posting on internet forums bemoaning the fact that the only gay housemate, Marcus, was voted out almost a week ago. Marcus, speaking from his caravan in Willesden said, "I'm just digesting a brick at the moment but I'll be with you in a minute".

This is not the first time Big Brother has been steeped in controversy. A couple of years ago an unnamed housemate was caught wearing odd socks. A spokesperson for the housemate declined to comment but it is understood the housemate in question was not gay and the wearing of odd socks was a strictly straight pastime.

Julian Cleary wanted to comment but didn't.

[Luanda]

As the housemates awoke this morning on the final day of Big Brother is has emerged that not only are the gay community up in arms about the lack of gay housemates but it seems the housemates themselves are starting to realise something is wrong. Housemate David sat up in bed and shouted over to Rodrigo, "Rodrigo, isn't it strange that we don't have any gay housemates this year". Rodrigo replied saying, "Don't tell me to shut up, you shut up". Charlie then emerged from the bathroom having just finished polishing his leather baseball cap and said, "Eee, Howay man, there's no gays this year since Marcus left".

The anger in the gay community grew this morning as members of the Norfolk gay community held a coffee morning in protest where latte's were on sale along with a wide selection of garibaldi and cream biscuits. A spokesperson for the Norwich gay community said, "Can someone please pass me the sugar, go on then I'll have another garibaldi".

Julian Cleary didn't comment.

[charmingmissc]

[DiamondDogTags]

[MiuMiu]

I can't believe I thought these were real!
Shame on me!


But they are so funny.
Please continue Luanda!

[Prole]

Seriously... these p1ss-taking, homophobic threads are kind of out of place here. It's something I'd expect from a 1970s comedian... And those who "thought this was real" really should catch themselves on.

[Luanda]

There was consternation in the house last night as it was finally confirmed that tonight was the final night in the Big Brother house for the housemates. As the housemates lay in bed chatting, Siavash was heard to say, "Well, it's rock 'n roll man, tomorrow is the last night in the Biggie house man". Immediately, David picked up on this and replied, "I know Siavash, tomorrow is the last day". Unable to contain his surprise, Charlie revealed for the first time that he too knew tomorrow was going to be his last night in the house, he said, "Howay man, eee aye man, it's the last day tomorrow". Sophie, currently thinking about her on-off romance with Kris said, "Goodnight everyone". Rodrigo finally summed up everything with the words, "Don't tell me to shup up, you shut up".

Feeling on the Greek Island of Mykonos was still hostile as members of the gay community were aghast that tomorrow was the last night of Big Brother for this year. A holidaymaker who did not wish to be named said, "It's the last night tonight, I'll be watching but I don't know how many hours we are in front here, do you know?". His friend who also declined to be named said, "I think it's about 3 hours but I may be wrong". These two statements summed up the feeling of anger felt here and worldwide.

Julian Cleary could not be contacted for his comments.

[calyman]

A fiendish plot by 2 onanists has been uncovered by the diligent detective work of a spinsterish lady from the Loose Womans Guild; Ms Moripoll, who said that a breeder and his father who went by the alias of Lu an' Da, had begun a hate thread directed at inhabitants of a large empty house somewhere outside of London.

It appears they had little of consequence to say but seemed fascinated by the unfeasably huge sideburns of a science fiction Geek. As a result of this, they began persecuting the inhabitants of the large house, when they learned that no on was actually paying any rent there.

Every evening, they would ride up on their childhood choppers to shot insults over the garden fence. One of the previous inhabitants, Ms Bea De Ville alleges that she clearly heaqrd them chanting "Get David Out", though this could not be confirmed by others, as they were only semi intelligible. Police are not pursuing any further inquires.

Lu an' Da are 103 years old

[Clockers]

[rquote=2531839&tid=145885&author=Ghostinthehouse]It's a joke surely. Get it?

RLMAO.[/rquote]

I agree, he was taking the piss.

There are more fags in that house than in a tobacconist.

[Luanda]

Reports are emerging of a split in the Big Brother house as Sophie once again stated she wasn't pregnant by the legendary lothario, Kris who was evicted some weeks ago after the shock revelation he was wearing a wig. The Iranian Prince, Siavash, who is second in line for the Iranian throne once again sported a fetching all in one bodysuit accompanied by a pair of high heels. He told Sophie he didn't want any ice in the cup of water she took through to the lounge for him. She said, "Siavash, here is the water with no ice in it". Incredulous with surprise, Rodrigo who last night slept for over 6 hours, said, "Don't tell me to shut up, you shut up". This took David totally by surprise as he proclaimed, "I think I'll go outside for a fag".

Producers on the hit Channel 4 show said yesterday, "We are just going for a meeting so can you stop following us around please?". It seems they are once again denying that today is the last day of Big Brother.

Julian Cleary could not be contacted.