[lily.]

Grieving dad kills himself to be with young son who died in car smash

A GRIEVING mum told last night how her husband killed himself to be with their dead son.

Distraught Allan Hogg, 30, and partner Kelly made a suicide pact so that eight-year-old Connor "would not be alone".

Their boy suffered serious head injuries in a car smash as they headed to the Trossachs on a fishing trip.

The couple kept a vigil at his hospital bedside for six days before the heartbreaking decision to switch off his life support machine.

Last night, Kelly sobbed: "Connor's death was more than we could bear. Allan took his own life and died happy and content knowing that he was going to see his son again and that he would be there to look after him.

"It also gave me some comfort that my wee boy was with his daddy, who loved him more than anything in the world, and he wasn't out there all alone.

"I know it might sound strange to some people but when you are about to lose a child you love more than anything in the world, you want to do everything in your power to protect them.

"If that means taking you own life, then that is the sacrifice we decided to make."

Kelly still blames herself for the fatal smash on the A81 Glasgow to Aberfoyle Road.

She was driving a Vauxhall Corsa with Connor in the passenger seat. They were following labourer Allan, who was carrying relatives in another car as they drove to Loch Achray to let their son try out his new fishing rod.

But Kelly lost control after hitting a pothole. The Corsa smashed into a Volvo and rolled down an embankment.

Connor was airlifted unconscious to Glasgow's Southern General where he was put on a life support machine.
Kelly Hogg

Kelly said she and Allan had prayed at his bedside for a miracle. She said: "My wee boy was alive for six days and during that time we were at his bedside 24 hours a day.

"We were totally devastated and felt like our hearts were being ripped out.

"When we were told he was going to die we couldn't bear the thought of him being alone, so we decided that one of us had to go with him.

"While we sat we had talked about who would go with him if he died.

"Allan insisted I should stay to look after our 13-year-old daughter Lauren and he should go.

"He went into the family room and took a cocktail of tablets and tried to take his own life that night but nurses found him and he was saved."

But, several weeks later, Allan was found dead after strangling himself with a dog leash at a relative's home.

Shop worker Kelly, of Dennistoun, Glasgow, admitted that both of them had struggled to come to terms with losing Connor.

She added that their love for their daughter was the only thing that kept her going.

She added: "We were both tortured by Connor's death .

"We tried to carry on for Lauren's sake but it all got too much for Allan. When I heard he had died too, I screamed for about five minutes but then I felt a strange sense of comfort knowing that Connor wasn't alone any more.

"I went to see his body and he was smiling and looked at peace and contented for the first time since Connor died.

"I know that when he shut his eyes and died he knew that he was going to see Connor again.

"My heart goes out to Lauren because she has lost her brother and her dad and she worries all the time about me. I still cry a lot and miss them both so much.

"At least I am here for Lauren and we are here for each other.

"She has been the strongest out of all of us and I am very proud of how she has coped with all this.

"I feel bad for her because I still can't face putting up a Christmas tree as it just makes me upset.

"The sense of loss doesn't seem to be getting any easier. My heart is still breaking for my lovely wee boy.

"Everybody loved him so much and he was our world.He loved playing football and fishing and was buried in his new Celtic strip. He always wanted to be a goalie."

Since the double tragedy last year, Kelly has focused her energy on raising cash for the Southern General and the air ambulance.

With the support of her daughter and best pal Kevin Brannigan, 23, she has raised thousands of pounds for both causes.

Last week, they staged an original version of the Cinderella pantomime, penned by Kevin, starring family and friends, for 200 people at Bambury Centre in Barrowfield, Glasgow, in memory of Connor. They raised more than £600.

It was such a success that Kelly, who starred as Red Riding Hood, and Kevin, the Fairy Godfather, are planning to hold another night after the New Year.

The pair also held a charity dance, which raised £5000.

Kelly said: "The hospital staff were wonderful, so thoughtful and caring. They do such an amazing job. I want Connor to be proud of his mum and helping others makes me feel closer to him."


SOURCE

Discuss...

[InOne]

Tragic story. I guess the debate is was he selfish in leaving his other daughter behind. But death does funny things to people I guess

[Stacey.]

aww its horrible.
but lovely that Allan did what he did
and,, by killing himself to be with his son,it just shows how much he cares

[30stone]

Its sad to see anyone die like this.

But i think his sacrifice was, well i dont agree with it, you just hurt the rest of your family more i think.

[lily.]

If he'd done it by himself, I'd say it was a moment of desperation caused by grief... but the fact that they both made the pact just sickens me to be honest.

If someone accompanies their terminally-ill husband to the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland, they get prosecuted for not stopping them from committing suicide. Isn't this the same? Not that I think prosecuting that woman will benefit anyone, but how can she live with herself? How can she sleep at night, knowing that she was part of a decision for her daughter to grow up without a father? How can she look at her husband's family and not feel like she took him away from them?

It's wrong on so many levels. This was not the actions of one grief stricken person. This was a carefully thought out plan (by two grief stricken people) but still... it's just wrong.

[Tom4784]

Such a tragic story I couldn't imagine how their feeling but it's good that the mom has found some comfort in it all.

[lily.]

Also.. I'm not religious, but surely religious people are of the opinion that if you take your own life, you go to 'hell', and if you are taken, you go to 'heaven'... so therefore they aren't actually together anyway.

[WOMBAI]

Awful, tragic story! I can't imagine how the father must have been feeling to make such a decision. I could completely understand it if he had been the only child, but having another child does put a different slant on it. I just think that grief clouded the judgement of both of them!

[lily.]

I think the fact that she's gone to the papers, and she still defends the pact is what sickens me to be honest.

Like I say, in the dark times as the child lay dying, the bad decisions are understandable.. but to continue to defend it, and not feel any remorse...

Something is sadly wrong with that.