[Mrluvaluva]

I was just reading this from a few years back. Was written by someone on DS and posted on this forum in 2007. Just re-reading it made me crack up.

TWO MONTHS LATER......GUESS WHO CAME TO DINNER AND WON"T LEAVE!

..in a quiet culde sac in Consett Co. Durham, behind the unassuming facade of the ordinary two up two down terraced house, with its neat front garden and crisp, white net curtains, turmoil reigns in the Hutton household, over the house guest Craig Coates......

Nana Hutton: ( whispers) "Ant'knee pet, I know 'es ya mate like but it's been two month now like and 'es eatin' us out of house and home like".

Ant'knee: "ay I knows Nana, but I canna do owt, 'e won't leave us alone like."

Cretinous Craig:
"Anfffonknee..Anfffonnnkneeee...come and sit next to me, give me a cuddle b!tch, can I touch ya Anffonknee, can I, sit next to me ( sob , sob, blub, blub) Why ya got ya arm round that b!tch!!!"

Ant'knee: "Fookin' hell man, she's me Nana like!"

Cromer Crimper Craig: "OH I can't believe YOU Anfffonkneee after ALL I've done for ya and you treat me like sh!t. I'm telling ya boy don't trust anyone in this house. I cook and clean for you, not that old woman and that other devious cow..."

Ant'knee: "Who me mam like?"

Creepy Craig: "Listen Anffonknee she's trying to come between us, she's a manipulative b!tch, she's not fit to touch ya...."


Ant'knee: "But she gave birth to us like!!!"

Callous Craig: "Details mere details. I wish you were ( puts hands to his mouth and whispers) G...A..Y)."

Ant'knee: "But I'm always happy and that like!"


T!tboy: "Do ya love me Annffonknee, do ya, do ya love me???, come and sit next to me. Where ya going Anffonkneeee, I can't bear to be in a room without ya.."

Nana Hutton: "He's gaan to the tiolet like pet, leave him for a sec like, and shouldn't ya be making a move back to Norfolk, like. I'm sure ya mam must be missin' yas and that like."

The Cromer Creep: "Oh you can just shut up. I will not diminish my character by arguing with you, old woman, get out of my way, you don't know me and what I'm capable of!!!!!!!Anyway for your information my family have moved and I dont have a forwarding address. Annnfffonkneeeee I'm coming darhlin'".

Nana Hutton to Ma Hutton: "Call 999 now....and tell 'em to send armed back -up like pet."