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CaraRawr · 10-06-2010, 03:50 PM

Discuss your weirdest/funniest/coolest/hottest teachers... we've all had them. :]

I had my first lesson with my GCSE biology teacher today and he is actually such a creeper, but such a legend. I was just sitting there and he comes over and goes, "Your nails are very nice darling. Now I have some sandpaper and acid in the prep room... you're a bad girl." (my nails were painted blue and we have a no nail polish rule at school). I was sitting there like "

" for most of the lesson. it was scary, he said the bad girl bit in this really creepy voice. and he has a real, dead pig in a jar in the classroom, i almost threw up - it was grim. and then the teaching assistant pulled me to the side and told me i had too much eyeliner on rofl.

so yeah.

Smithy · 10-06-2010, 03:52 PM

We had an alcoholic chemistry teacher for the past 3 years, we set bins/desks and once someone's bag on fire and he didn't give a sh!t.

He's retiring this year which is a bit of a shame though

Lucy. · 10-06-2010, 03:59 PM

I had a geography teacher in middle school called Mr Isles, always amused me

Jessica. · 10-06-2010, 04:03 PM

Principal called Mrs Cummins.

CaraRawr · 10-06-2010, 04:05 PM

I had this ginger science teacher last year too, he couldn't control the class at all and was obsessed with Star Wars and Futurama. Everyone used to hide under the desks and stuff. He wore ties with fish and cats on as well.

Smithy · 10-06-2010, 04:08 PM

We have a Geog teacher atm who goes off and complete tangents, repeats the same stories we've heard a million times, and gives the same advice all the time. He's only in his 40's but he's so goddamn repetitive.
He told us he used to be a kiss-o-gram

Lee. · 10-06-2010, 04:14 PM

My Latin teacher used to frighten me (at first) he used to keep a big bamboo looking cane beside his desk and if anthing annoyed him like people forgetting their homework etc he used to repeatedly whack it on his desk whilst shouting and kind of jumping... Almost in a Basil Fawlty/branch/car way!

I used to ambush the worst culprit for not doing his hoemwork in the common room in the morning and make him copy mine, just to avoid the bloody noise! He ended up being one of my fav teachers though

Claymores · 10-06-2010, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smithy

We had an alcoholic chemistry teacher for the past 3 years, we set bins/desks and once someone's bag on fire and he didn't give a sh!t.

He's retiring this year which is a bit of a shame though

He as probably bored with dimwitted /unruly kids - I'd turn to the bottle too in his situation

Shasown · 10-06-2010, 04:19 PM

We had a science teacher who liked to lounge against his table while teaching us. One time he leaned too close to a gas burner that was lit and set fire to his jacket.

My how we laughed as he realised his jacket was on fire. Never saw him move so fast.

Smithy · 10-06-2010, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claymores

He as probably bored with dimwitted /unruly kids - I'd turn to the bottle too in his situation

Oh no he was an alchey beforehand, so people took advantage and set the desks on fire

Claymores · 10-06-2010, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyland

My Latin teacher used to frighten me (at first) he used to keep a big bamboo looking cane beside his desk and if anthing annoyed him like people forgetting their homework etc he used to repeatedly whack it on his desk whilst shouting and kind of jumping... Almost in a Basil Fawlty/branch/car way!

I used to ambush the worst culprit for not doing his hoemwork in the common room in the morning and make him copy mine, just to avoid the bloody noise! He ended up being one of my fav teachers though

Coprpral punishment was banished in the late 70s in Escossia

I still remember getting the belt by a teacher so hard it made the bit between my thumb and fingers bleed

Deirdre · 10-06-2010, 04:24 PM

We have THE HOTTEST P.E teacher ever. He's a model.
http://www.catwalkmodels.ie/index.ph...nid=53&page=53

He's really nice too.

Lee. · 10-06-2010, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claymores

Coprpral punishment was banished in the late 70s in Escossia

I still remember getting the belt by a teacher so hard it made the bit between my thumb and fingers bleed

Thank christ I missed it.. I'm not so sure I could have let a teacher hit me.. not in high school anyway! Bloody hell, you're an adult at high school near enough. I just can't see an 18 year old me standing letting a teacher hit my hand till it bled! bugger that!

Lee. · 10-06-2010, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deirdre

We have THE HOTTEST P.E teacher ever. He's a model.
http://www.catwalkmodels.ie/index.ph...nid=53&page=53

He's really nice too.

Never! God I wish my PE teachers had looked like that when I was at school! Mind you, I think I could have dealt with a hot Maths teacher or summat but I think I would have been a bit mortified by a dishy PE teacher... I run like Bridget Jones and fall and stuff when nervous or think there's anyone watching me so it would probably be magnified tenfold if it was a model teacher!!

Stacey. · 10-06-2010, 04:28 PM

My Biology teacher is amazing. she tells us lots of interesting stories. and there's this one about some man going McDonalds, he gets an STI from eating mayonnaise. just thinking about what happened to it before he ate it..

CaraRawr · 10-06-2010, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deirdre

We have THE HOTTEST P.E teacher ever. He's a model.
http://www.catwalkmodels.ie/index.ph...nid=53&page=53

He's really nice too.

Omfg. And I thought my Orlando Bloom-lookalike PE teacher was hot.

Deirdre · 10-06-2010, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyland

Never! God I wish my PE teachers had looked like that when I was at school! Mind you, I think I could have dealt with a hot Maths teacher or summat but I think I would have been a bit mortified by a dishy PE teacher... I run like Bridget Jones and fall and stuff when nervous or think there's anyone watching me so it would probably be magnified tenfold if it was a model teacher!!

LOL.
I just tell him I don't want to play so I just sit there and stare at him!

Claymores · 10-06-2010, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyland

Thank christ I missed it.. I'm not so sure I could have let a teacher hit me.. not in high school anyway! Bloody hell, you're an adult at high school near enough. I just can't see an 18 year old me standing letting a teacher hit my hand till it bled! bugger that!

My story was not at High School - I was 8 at the time a teacher gave me 3 straps of the belt for climbing over a wall - and it was my turn to climb as our football had gone over

Claymores · 10-06-2010, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smithy

Oh no he was an alchey beforehand, so people took advantage and set the desks on fire

Ah I see - the old addage is 'if you can't get a job, just teach'

Lee. · 10-06-2010, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claymores

My story was not at High School - I was 8 at the time a teacher gave me 3 straps of the belt for climbing over a wall - and it was my turn to climb as our football had gone over

That's awful.. I would hate the thought of my kids getting hit at school!

Claymores · 10-06-2010, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happyland

That's awful.. I would hate the thought of my kids getting hit at school!

it's in the past, but no wonder Scotland are sh1t at football when primary school treachers would use a special belt on kids for playing football

Maybe that's the secret of Fegie's success

BOOSH · 10-06-2010, 04:59 PM

@ cara's first post..
That's why i hated school haha

Shasown · 10-06-2010, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stacey.x

My Biology teacher is amazing. she tells us lots of interesting stories. and there's this one about some man going McDonalds, he gets an STI from eating mayonnaise. just thinking about what happened to it before he ate it..

Your biology teacher should spend the lesson teaching you facts not urban myths.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/1/29/17575/0171

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/semen.asp

Claymores · 10-06-2010, 05:09 PM

Another story is our semi-alcololic Ecomomics teacher who used to ramble-on with none of us paying attention.

At the end of one lesson, our homework was to find out what "Homogeneous" meant.

Of course nobody rushed home to look up the dictionary, so mext lesson he came in with bad mood and ssked what homogenious means.

As nobody could answer he gave the whole class 1000 lines to write "Homogeneous means all of the same kind"

I suppose it worked as 30 years later I can still remember this useless word!

I learned Economics from the book - such is public school teachers in Scotland