[Razmataz]

I'd like to know what people on my favourtite forum think.
Would be helpful for feedback and honest feedback please. as this can help me write my evalutation. Thanks.

Lets Play Heart Attack.


A warm summers night, the clock strikes midnight and four college students Bruce, Jack, Lucy and Sarah all armed with torches playing a classic game of hide and seek on the closed funfair.
As they scurry to hide from the counter Bruce, they all unknowingly hide in the funhouse through the opening at the back. This however is no ordinary funhouse, by day it’s for kids playtime and by night it’s ‘the owners’ torture chamber.
The housemates, who now include Bruce, must complete individual tasks to survive the night.
Bruce finds Lucy and Sarah finds Jack and they all find each other, all struggling to pass the missions found on the numbered bits of paper pinned up around the house numbered one to four.
Lucy, Jack and Bruce pass, but Sarah fails. However in this game ‘the owner’ gives all the housemates a chance to save her. They do a joint mission, which they fail by three seconds. Timing was everything.
As the sun rises on the morning after the night before, the sounds of police sirens and news crews fill the air.
Breaking news! 4 students found dead on funfair.

[James]

Let's start again.

If anyone's got constructive comments about the above post, post away.

Otherwise don't bother.

[Siouxsie]

Fantastic keep up the good work will you be writing anymore James ?

[Razmataz]

It was done by me Gladders yep.

[Siouxsie]

oops i do apologise i was that engrossed in it i got carried away .

[Razmataz]

Thanks Scoobs.

[Siouxsie]

so wheres the next bit ?

[Razmataz]

Hahahaha. Thats the whole synopsis of the film Hopefully i will have a game for it on Tibb soon.
Plans are underway.

[SMC]

let me know before hand so i can avoid it

[Siouxsie]

now if thats not bickering

[Amy]

Originally posted by James
Let's start again.

If anyone's got constructive comments about the above post, post away.

Otherwise don't bother.

Did you miss this post by James SMC?

Originally posted by SMC
let me know before hand so i can avoid it

[Lance]

Originally posted by Amy

Did you miss this post by James SMC?

I think he deleted it, Amy, and removed all the unnecessary replies.

[Razmataz]

Kaz did it. But Amy and Lance it wouldve been nice to have your views.

[Kaz]

Actualy, it WAS James, Gladders.

Think I was preoccupied with tidying up another thread that night ..........

[Z]

I like it, though instead of "housemates" you should use the term victims. They're being put through all these things that they eventually start to fail, right? Housemates sounds to.. jovial

[Razmataz]

Originally posted by Ziola
I like it, though instead of "housemates" you should use the term victims. They're being put through all these things that they eventually start to fail, right? Housemates sounds to.. jovial

This is what i call Constructive criticism

Thanks Ziola.