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I built the Wall of China in 4 hours and 27 minutes after losing a bet with Jesus that I could feel up Ghandi's ass without him noticing.
I was the one that put Professor X into a wheelchair. They based Puff the Magic Dragon on my childhood. The Passion of the Christ is all about my affair with Jesus. Chuck Norris facts are in fact based on me. I gave Chuck permission to use them. I have a secret identity, as I am a superhero: Captain Subtext! Razza, HappyChick and CompleteThicko are all pregnant with my children. I'm that good looking I didn't even have to take my clothes off to get them pregnant. My Humps is a song about my sexcapades. My favourite colour hasn't been invented yet. I'm the patron saint of Poland. They just don't know it yet. Being a superhero, I can't reveal much more about myself. I hope you understand. *whoosh* CAPTAIN SUBTEXT TO THE RESCUE! |
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