[Stephanie]

LMFAO.

TRWser howled, as the cameramen walked off, lost and with a sudden desire to film their own independent project about Sticks' Mystical Realms saga.

this is epic.

[Scarlett.]

Haha this is awesome

[Niall]

So funny

[Shaun]

Again, Eoin immediately realised the name of the game.

"But we already have a pacman game!" he moaned, since this was one of the few existing arcade games he hadn't mastered.
"No. This is a New Game, young Eoin Spunk." arista echoed, as Eoin shrugged off his increasing use of semen references. "You might recognise our Scott, Jizz Tits."
Eoin shuddered and realised the little yellow pacman had been replaced with an avatar of a fierce black girl. He immediately got to work, pushing right, up, left and down as Scott went around devouring threads with .gifs.

Eoin was beginning to think this was all a bit easy when some invisible mods appeared out of a little box and started chasing him. Scott began to panic and threw out a couple of duplicate .gifs which lost him some credibility on TiBB.

A fanclub however was setup on the website, where 309 Brazilian members cited him as an inspiration to live their flamboyant lifestyle, swiftly forgetting about Lady GaGa.

The moderators were quickly honing in on Scott, who was loitering around the bottom right corner, when he suddenly devoured an entire sub-forum. The moderators panicked and ran away, all blaming each other for their lack of efficiency and Mark the admin for not giving them enough training. Scott caught up with Niamh and ate her husband's photographs in her purse, causing her to disintegrate into a pair of eyes and run back home to make sure he hadn't been molested.

The mods soon regained control however and resumed their chace. Scott twisted and turned throughout the forum and used a number of tricks to escape detection. He was just turning another corner when he saw a shirtless picture of a hot gay guy ahead (yes this is my equivalent of the fruit). He sped up and took it in his stride, leaving behind a sticky translucent residue that Dezzy got caught up in.

Eoin was temporarily distracted by arista's voice.
"You must Get to 5000 Threads to Win this,
Manjuice Irishman."

He ignored the lech and made Scott navigate towards more naked gay pictures to boost his score. He was soon at 4000 when he tried to take the shortcut from right to left, only to find Kaz hurtling towards him. He turned back and there was Zee, conjuring a ban. He was trapped, and instantly lost a life.

"Ha. Ha!" arista teased, as Eoin resumed on his last life - he only had 300 more threads to eat up. And he did so. Easily. Because this game is actually really fucking boring to write about. I'm not sure why I picked it. Anyway, stay tuned because Round 3 is about TRON. Yay!

[Iceman]

worst game out there /notbitter

[Stu]

"Ah, gay." Eoin tripped.

Bloody good show.

[Z]

This is just beautiful.

[GypsyGoth]

[Benjamin]

Is round 3 tonight Shaun?

[Shaun]

i'm not a ****ing machine, ben

[Tom4784]

Ew, I got Scott's gunk all over me.

[Iceman]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Ew, I got Scott's gunk all over me.

Rather you than me

[Niall]

[Shaun]

The world outside had turned a neon blue as bars of light rose from the roads and buildings were suddenly laced in green gridlines, like the template for a virtual reality. Eoin thought he could hear "This isn't the Reality I wanted!" from a distant dragon when arista's voice returned, notably more robotic and authoratitive than before.

"As the Great Marina said,
'I am Not A Robot.'

She was Right, young Owen-cock. I am no Cyber Bitch. But you soon Will be! Ha-ha."

Noticing that this dialogue was becoming a little formulaic, Eoin ignored the enigma's sexual advances and began to prepare for level 3. He poured out a glass of lemonade and lifted it to his mouth, only for it to disappear.

"I think Not,
you Pesky slut muffin," arista screeched, "no Food or Drink until you beat Me."

Eoin rubbed his eyes and muttered obscenities before beginning the level. The screen was equally technological as the world outside, and he tried to remember where he'd seen these kind of visuals. On the forum, Jeff Bridges had just registered and posted an "OMG!!! I JKNOW THIS!!1" thread to which Stu and various other Big Lebowski fans built a shrine. The atmosphere was fairly relaxed considering the world had just changed into a virtual-reality purgatory, and White Russians were passed around with joy.
"Hey, put me down!" cried Rémy.

He could hardly believe his eyes but Eoin's protagonist for this level was Red Moon. A glittering red orb, it suddenly morphed into what he could only describe as a motorcycle from a Björk video - and then it hit him. He was in the TRON universe. A blue car then joined alongside Red Moon and announced himself as Blue Moon.

"Only one Moon can be a moderator, semen-Boy." arista announced. "And it Sure As Hell won't be Roy!" he cackled, having suddenly broken into rhyming couplets in what was sure to be a shortlived narrative device.

As Kerry made a poll asking which of the two would win, they limbered up and Eoin flexed his fingers. He hadn't yet installed a racing game on TiBB so this was an entirely new game for him. A pixellated 'hot girl' stepped out between the two racers with a chequered flag to initiate the race, and on closer inspection the figure looked a lot like Harry.

"I just stole Madonna's body!" he announced triumphantly, as a decrepid leg fell off. "Three...two...one...go!" she/he squealed, picking up his discarded limbs only to shatter into pieces by the sheer force of the passing vehicles.
The Blue Moon had a slight lead to begin with, but Red Moon had put up with years of the likes of nodisharmony and Amy21 to give up just yet. With a couple of sudden bursts he soon found himself edging ahead of his rival.

He suddenly turned right, cutting a red light across the blue racer's path, but Mr. Blue (it's a little late to go for a Reservoir Dogs reference I know but it's worth a shot) managed to swerve and avoid crashing into it. Red Moon began throwing behind spare parts to try and knock the enemy off course but his moderation powers were weak and out of practice. Mr. Blue had overtaken Red and suddenly cut across his path to the left - but Red saw this a mile off.

Now on the inside curve, Red had an advantage and they were soon neck and neck. Red decided to play dirty and suddenly unbanned Thomas_C, causing the rampant homosexual to run onto the grid and flash his bits at them both - Red instinctively looked away but Mr. Blue veered off path and crashed into a wall. Red had won by default!

"You have played Dirty my Eire sexx-xxppp{system-one;;DARENN;;cock pun_}"

Eoin struggled to keep up and decided to jump at the opportunity to level-up; giving Red Moon his freedom.

[LemonJam]

rofl

[Iceman]

LOL I see what you mean, maybe I was reading your mind Shaun

[Benjamin]

Hahahaha these stories cheer me up.

[Shaun]

I was aiming for a sense of ennui -tears up sheets-

[Tom4784]

"I think Not,
you Pesky slut muffin,"

ROFL.

[Shaun]

The loading page finally stopped spouting random self-referential jokes and finally showed a screen where a green plot of land had been conjured, with black gridlines. On the road stood 6 people - the appearances of whom Eoin vaguely recognised. As he moved the cursor, a house began to build itself - furnishing itself lavishly and with bizarre items (a genie lamp, a fireworks kit, an inexplicable turkey).

"Rosebud!" cried Ninastar.
"Semi-colon exclamation mark!" retaliated Smithy, as they stood patiently in the street.
Eoin was mightily confused and wondered when the element of arista's terror would unleash itself. He hadn't got much experience of this particular game, but had heard many friends talk about how they'd killed fictional representations of enemies in a fit of maniacal rage. This could be fun, he supposed.
The house was finally constructed, and he had to admire its design - arista had taste. Aside from an upstairs room laced entirely in red and black, and with some questionable objects lining the bedside table, he noticed that a green diamond appeared above a person - her name, GypsyGoth, appeared at the bottom of the screen with a list of traits, feelings and hobbies. He clicked the traits tab.

"Outgoing - 2
Nice - 8
Playful - 6
Active - 4
Neat - 7"

He didn't really understand what this meant so decided to move along - when he suddenly realised that the 6 of them were moving around of their own free will. He hovered over pictures of their heads at the bottom - Ninastar, GypsyGoth, Jessica, Niall, Smithy, Harry - and decided to just sit back and watch them; this was a Big Brother forum after all.
A screen on the TiBB website streamed live footage of the six Housemates; BBSpy secured a number of promotional opportunities (Win your own signed Madonna/GaGa karaoke CD!) and interest in the site was at a peak high; people were almost feeding off of the sextet's lives.

He noticed that time seemed to go a little strangely in this house, a second representing a minute. Therefore it was fun to watch Niall washing his hands for an hour, or Jessica taking half an hour to walk to the garden. He clicked on Smithy's head and that green diamond appeared above his body again - he suddenly realised he could control these people. He decided to test drive the genie lamp. Smithy obeyed immediately, walking towards the peculiar object and giving it a bit of a rub - staggering backwards when a genie appeared in a puff of smoke!
"Comen snala!" Smithy waved. Eoin stared on in a mixture of confusion and anticipation.
The genie seemed to wobble uncontrollably and was a little bit flatulent. After a few moments of inaudible conversation, a large pop-up window appeared in the middle of the paused game.



Feeling a little sentimental, Eoin clicked Love. The genie teetered again before casting a spell in another cloud of smoke. Another pop-up declared:

"By the great beard of Zeus! Cupid's arrow has found the posterior of Niall!" he bowed before disappearing. Smithy looked a little taken aback as a red heart suddenly appeared over Niall's exaggerated black hair. Niall dashed from the kitchen through to their game room and began kissing Smithy's feet, which Smithy took as a welcome form of worship - commanding him to bring him grapes and GIFs.
Meanwhile, GypsyGoth and Harry were in the study. Eoin noticed a small green bar above their heads slowly filling up, when suddenly another pop-up declared Harry to be a step closer towards mastering mechanics! Soon afterwards GypsyGoth, who was at an easel, picked up a creativity point. They continued at this until they had 4 bars each - when Ninastar called them for dinner. She was just finishing stirring a pot on top of the hob when the whole kitchen, suddenly, violently burst into flames.

The whole 6 ran to the kitchen in a panic - TiBB's stream viewers rocketed - as Eoin clicked frantically to get Niall to phone the fire department. Niall however wouldn't stop panicking and jumping, and when he realised this request shrugged and complained about a lack of hygiene. Eoin looked and noticed the bars at the bottom were a violent red colour - particularly in the areas of hygiene, bladder and hunger. He decided to make Smithy do it, who was generally more amiable, and ordered the other 5 out of the house - which they did so in an unusually linear motion, refusing to overtake or bypass each other.
Supposing this was a formality of the gaming logistics, Eoin waited anxiously as the fireman stormed into the house, soon followed by another character called Scott, who was in turn pursued by Niamh.

Whilst the fireman doused the flames (which had by now reduced the fridge, corner unit and blender to a pile of ash) with an extinguisher, Niamh caught up with Scott and poked him in the chest before slapping him. Scott was reduced to tears and, after helping himself to the Shack family's toilet, left. Eoin noticed the fire was now out, and the fireman had left. He decided to invest in a fire alarm should Niall's hysteria ever get the better of him again, and also arranged for a maid service.
"Yees signore?" a hispanic woman answered, "me llamo Enid."
That doesn't sound very Spanish, Eoin reflected, as she agreed to attend daily to clean for the family.

Over the next few days little happened. Harry had now got himself a job as a lab assistant that saw him away most nights, whilst Jessica had begun improving her cooking abilities to avoid another disaster - the previous perpetrator was now focussing on improving her fitness in order to improve her career in athletics. Niall's obsession with Smithy had intensified after they sat watching television together one evening; their relationship reached another stage when they began to share beds (although nothing suggestive happened; Eoin was careful to observe). As for GypsyGoth, her creativity made her a popular Shack - she'd often entertain her family by playing the piano or telling stories and had begun singing often after a few boosts to her confidence.

A fortnight exactly after the fire however, at roughly 1AM, the dramatic music roused Eoin again. He finally saw arista making his move - a grim reaper had come into the road and Eoin immediately scrambled to refresh his TiBB tab - there were 8 topics along the lines of "JESSICA DIES IN SWIMMING POOL" - Eoin panicked. He noticed a gravestone out by the pool, where Niall and Smithy were sobbing and GypsyGoth was letting off fireworks. The reaper walked towards them and introduced himself, taking her spirit and leaving an urn in addition to the stone. He gesticulated towards the head of the household, GypsyGoth (since Harry. was at work), and the screen wobbled once more. Eoin read.



Eoin's face screwed up in a rage, until GypsyGoth's movements in the game gave him a genius idea. She walked towards the external wall of the house, and then a dream cloud appeared above her head showing frustration at her inability to find a door. Without hesitating, Eoin then clicked onto the build mode and built a small wall around the reaper without walls, windows, flooring or furniture. Now he only had to play the waiting game, as Arista paced around the small chamber with surprising nonchalance. He enjoyed the further development of the remaining 5 family members - Ninastar had qualified for the Olympic hurdles team; Harry. was now working for NASA; GypsyGoth had a recording career and Smithy and Niall were expecting their third child. 3 days after Eoin's trap, the reaper began to evaporate, and the levelling up screen appeared.

"Tao! Wakana di booboo" the family waved.

[Ninastar]

lmfao aww I loved it.

[Tom4784]

Rofl <3.

[Z]

Poor Jessica. That was an enjoyable read!

[Iceman]

Poor Jess....

[Benjamin]

Awww poor Jess, and LOL at Scott and Niamhs part.