[Holly Christmas]

Louise.....You have finished in fourth place, please leave the Big Brother house, but please take a moment to have a quick wash and use some deodorant first!.....

Louise leaves the BB house to Gabriella Cilmi's (nothing) Sweet about me.

Brian "So Louise, you have finished fourth, how do you feel right now?"

Louise "I'm bloody fuming Brian, I spent £500 ****in quid on them presents you know, I'm a proper decent person me, nowt shady about me Brian. It upsets me that the public haven't got that about me, I'm not just a beautiful face, I am approachable yer know? It was a lovely gesture, out the kindness of me heart, I'm just dead kind me." (Pretends to dab a tear from her eye).

Brian "Yes, quite. Now, you got up close and personal with Jay in the House, was your romance for real or just gameplay?"

Louise "Are you bloody serious Brian? Look at me, and look at 'Im!" Cackles hysterically.

Brian "Er, yes!"

Louise "Don't be bloodeh silly like, as if someone like me would have any real chemistry with the likes of Jay, it's not even his real name yer know, did yer know that Brian?" I'm a model me, I want wining and dining, ay, have you got that Lucien Laviscount's number, I love Lucien I do, I adore 'Im."

Brian "Well, you certainly looked very convincing under the covers every night, hmmmmm." (Shows clips).

Louise "hahahahahaha, well he IS fit, he is, I loved 'Is body, I adored Jay me, but I'm out the house now, I can pick and choose can't I? Big thuggish for owt long term, Jay, but I did adore 'Im, I'm just a normal girl me, can't be doing with all the aggro."

Brian "So you keep telling us, but do normal girls really burp and fart as much as you did, or was that exaggerated to "entertain" us?"

Louise "Well, it were funny weren't it? Did yer like it Brian, eh? -Burps in Brian's face- Couldn't ave that Jem outdoing me could I, she's not a normal girl like me."

Brian "Louise, you were a great........ well you were a housemate! Here are your best bits."

Screen remains blank, Brian looks mortified........

Brian "Oh dear, it seems that there actually weren't any. Never mind, off you go to join your fellow housemates, ignore the pegs on their noses, it's not because of you, honestly."


............................

Jay's alternative interview to follow shortly. Hope you liked this one.