[Scarlett.]

[Visage]

WTF!

LOL

[Scarlett.]

I really want to know what the story is xD

[Scarlett.]

Furball Norris – named after Coronation Street’s prodnose newsagent – gnawed through wiring at kinky Tarquin Baffing’s home, setting the tidy semi ablaze.

The house was completely destroyed in the inferno, leaving 45- year- old Tarquin without a home OR his favourite source of anal delight.

Camp Tarquin, of Crewe, Cheshire, said: “I’d been to my zumba class as usual on a Wednesday night and left Norris to scamper around in the drawing room.

“I don’t believe it’s right to keep him cooped up in his cage all the time – especially when he’s often in, shall we say, rather confined spaces… oooh!

Cushions

“When I got home from zumba there were firemen outside my house, which would normally be rather thrilling, but as my home was on fire, that took the edge off the thrill.

“My first thought was “Oh, my cushions!’

“Once the flames were out and I’d finished screaming, the nice fireman said that something had gnawed though the flex on my lava lamp.

“He asked if I’d got rats. That’s what made me think of Norris. He’d clearly nibbled though the cable and started the fire… the little devil.”

Last night animal rights activist Clifton Baynes, president of Rodents Are Not Vermin, stormed: “No wonder Norris burned down this deviant’s house. Would you not boil with thoughts of revenge if you spent half your waking hours stuffed up some nancy boy’s jacksie?

“Rather than surveying the charred remains of his house, this Baffing creature should be surveying the inside of a prison cell. Stuffing a gerbil up your arse is animal cruelty and animal cruelty is a crime.”

A police source said that they had received no complaints of illicit gerbilanal interfacing in the Crewe area and they were satisfied that the fire at Tarquin’s house was “not suspicious”.

Sunday Sport


LOL

[Kizzy]

OMFG just when you think you have heard it all :/

[Josy]

[waterhog]

i no noris is shocked easily - and you can see that when they showed him the lady he was going on the front page with - clasic dorris lol

[Kate!]

This is very disturbing.

[waterhog]

me or dorris ? lol

[Marc]

i've read it all now

[Maia]

Poor gerbil

[waterhog]

Originally Posted by Marc

i've read it all now

that is just ???? lol

[Mrluvaluva]

I have never understood the use of hamsters/gerbils for pleasure? Quite weird.

[Scarlett.]

[King Gizzard]

nearly beats that gordon ramsay headline

[Marsh.]

This is surely a parody article?

Not because of the stupidness of the story but the writing of it is awful.

And when did the gerbil being up his arse come into it anyway?

[flamingGalah!]

The story is clearly made up, 99.9% of them in the Sunday Sport are, it's a pi** take paper...

I bothers me more that they are allowed to write something that is so blatantly homophobic...

[Scarlett.]

Originally Posted by flamingGalah!

The story is clearly made up, 99.9% of them in the Sunday Sport are, it's a pi** take paper...

I bothers me more that they are allowed to write something that is so blatantly homophobic...

I thought that, reminded me of what people thought gay people were sterotypically like back in 2000ish