FAQ |
Members List |
Calendar |
Search |
Today's Posts |
|
Chat and Games Looking for forum games, and completely off topic banter - this is your place! (includes Virtual Big Brother type forum games) |
Reply |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
16-03-2012, 11:16 AM | #1 | |||
|
||||
IntoxiKated
|
The following is an article I was sent via e mail from a friend.
BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! ___________________________________________ FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. ________________________________________________ FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound. __________________________________________________ _____ COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale. __________________________________________________ ______ JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100. __________________________________________________ ___________ WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. __________________________________________________ _________ And the WINNER is... FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. (Statement of the Century) __________________________________________________ _________ Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly. "If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?" __________________________________________________ __________ Children Are Quick TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: George, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GEORGE: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this child) ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONAL H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONAL Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: George, why do you always get so dirty? GEORGE: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand..... ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's.. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. (I want to adopt this kid!!!) ___________________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROL A teacher |
|||
Reply With Quote |
16-03-2012, 11:19 AM | #2 | |||
|
||||
mizzy25
|
they are classics
|
|||
Reply With Quote |
16-03-2012, 11:25 AM | #3 | |||
|
||||
Likes cars that go boom
|
Hahahahahaha brilliant!!
__________________
|
|||
Reply With Quote |
16-03-2012, 12:30 PM | #4 | |||
|
||||
75% Trish
|
|
|||
Reply With Quote |
16-03-2012, 01:37 PM | #5 | |||
|
||||
Like a fine whiskey
|
British humour is amazing, one of the few things I like about this country.
__________________
It's never too late to be who you once could have been... Spoiler: |
|||
Reply With Quote |
16-03-2012, 01:42 PM | #6 | |||
|
||||
It's lacroix darling
|
Rofl
__________________
|
|||
Reply With Quote |
16-03-2012, 06:44 PM | #7 | |||
|
||||
Quand il pleut, il pleut
|
What's short, green and goes camping
Spoiler: |
|||
Reply With Quote |
16-03-2012, 06:46 PM | #8 | |||
|
||||
Quand il pleut, il pleut
|
What did the boy say when he wanted his older brother to stop holding his plastic building bricks?
Spoiler: |
|||
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|
|