[Kate!]

Coming soon to a cinema near you, a fly-on-the-wall in depth docu-film about the gritty reality of a Catalogue Store.


ARGOS - The Movie!!





Don't be fooled! Behind this pleasant facade is a hotbed of Scandal, Rows, Backbiting, Sex, Fights, Drugs, and the staff are as bad as the customers...You'll never view a catalogue store in the same light again..Unmissable.....


Cast


Artie Aristotle - Arista. Artie is the Store Manager, his lust for offering bargains cannot be quenched, don't ever tell him Asda do it cheaper, you wouldn't like him when he's angry!

Kizztina McFeisty - Kizzy. Kizzy is the Deputy Manager, the apple of Artie's eye. She runs a tight ship and takes no messing, the locked storeroom outside her office is rumoured to be a mini torture chamber.

Lucasta Daggerby - Black Dagger. Lucasta is a cashier in the store, she has a few deep dark secrets...

Royston Snickers - Roy Mars III. Roy is the Landlord of The Turtle Inn, the pub across the road from the store. The staff regularly eat their lunch there and it's customary to sink a few shandies at the bar on Friday evenings when the store closes.

Johnny Lockesville - Locke. Locke is the local Bookmaker, has his fingers in lots of pies and is trying to buy into Argos, but Artie isn't playing ball.

Gypsophilia and Stefano "Smithy" Smith - Claudia and Smithy. A local couple who own and run the town bed and breakfast, they are regular customers in the Argos store, spend a lot on bedding, towels and curtains! They are not all they seem....


Other 'Customers':


Nim Rose -Niamh. Secretary at local school.
JoeJoe Studly - InOne. Barman, models for art classes part time.
Nessa Nutkins - Vanessa. Works at the local factory, likes to party at the local gay bar, total fag hag.
Josetta Stone - Josy. Headmistress at local school. Speaks many languages and is very mysterious.
Nathaniel Bear - Nathan. Gambler who spends most of his time in the Locke Inn and at the Bookies, and no-one knows how he makes his money! Could he have "something" on various townsfolk and be coining it in through blackmail?


Critics are raving about this movie*....




*actually...critics are just raving

[Kizzy]

Haha! you are not going to believe this I just applied to work in one!...Yes I am really that desprate =D
The torture chamber sounds brilliant, would so love one of those

[Benjamin]

I don't believe it.

[Kate!]

Originally Posted by ukturtle

I don't believe it.

[Jake.]

Originally Posted by ukturtle

I don't believe it.

[2]

I'd thought I'd at least be a witty customer or something

[Kate!]

fgs you miseable bunch of swines (just turtle and jh really), I have laboured for hours (ok...ten minutes but quality is more important than quantity) over this masterpiece (ahem) to entertain you all.



- jumps down a well -

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by ukturtle

I don't believe it.

you are welcome to the small office next to mine....hehehehe

[LemonJam]

amazing

[Kate!]

Originally Posted by LemonJam

amazing

oh thank you, you gorgeous person...

[Black Dagger]

Lucasta has no secrets

[Sam:)]

My brother started work at Argos this week