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Old 28-10-2012, 10:31 PM   #1
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Default NSFW: **** my life

As TiBB's most beloved virgin, it came quite a shock to me this morning when I discovered that I have ****ing CRABS, ALL OVER MY LOWER HALF. I'm devastated, I've been upset all evening, I've literally no idea how this has happened but crabs I most certainly have. Going to the pharmacy tomorrow to get something for it, I don't even know what I'm supposed to ask for, I've had to tell my friend who stayed over here last night because you can catch it even just sharing a bed with someone who has it (which is how I'm assuming I caught crabs) which was just beyond embarrassing, and I don't know who else to talk to about this because it's so ****ing humiliating. I'm going to be known as the boy who caught an STD without doing the ST part. This is so unfair, some people shag and shag and shag and never catch anything; I share a bed and am now riddled with ****ing monsters. There are even some down on my ankles because I've got such hairy legs, it's repulsive, waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:33 PM   #2
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Sorry but
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:33 PM   #3
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You're not joking?!

Oh my dear lord
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:33 PM   #4
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omfg

but omg
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:34 PM   #5
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slag
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:34 PM   #6
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That's what you get when you have sex with anything that moves Zee.
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:35 PM   #7
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I know I'm going to find this hilarious as soon as i've got rid of them but I am actually devastated right now, what the ****!!!
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:36 PM   #8
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Sad news, that is absolutely disgusting, you should probably boil wash all your clothes and blankets or something though. Also, do you know who you caught them from?
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:36 PM   #9
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Aww
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:37 PM   #10
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We're here for you Zee!!!!!
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:39 PM   #11
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We're here for you Zee!!!!!
Really?
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:39 PM   #12
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Yeah like tomorrow once I get the lotion or w/e it is I have to shower, apply it all over me, leave it on for 10 minutes (more like 4 hours, I don't want to have to go back and buy more...), wash it off and then put literally anything my body's been in contact with in the wash. Gonna then hand wash everything in my bath tub and then bleach the bath afterwards. I'm so upset! This guy I don't really know stayed over at ours the other week and slept in my bed so I can only assume it's from him, how repulsive
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:39 PM   #13
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OMFG I just googled imaged crabs to see if they are the same kinda thin as nits. I am now scarred for life
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always cook meals, i did have chinese takeaways the year before the corona **** happened
but now not into takeaways anymore
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Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
Did you get them delivered from Wuhan?
Quote:
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I would just like to take a second to congratulate Vicky, for creating the first Tibb post that needed chapters and a bibliography.
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:39 PM   #14
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Imagine seeing that **** all over your legs Vicky! It's like a ****ing horror film!!! I want to vomit!
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:40 PM   #15
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You can also get them from sharing towels. Has anyone used your towel recently?
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always cook meals, i did have chinese takeaways the year before the corona **** happened
but now not into takeaways anymore
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
Did you get them delivered from Wuhan?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toy Soldier View Post
I would just like to take a second to congratulate Vicky, for creating the first Tibb post that needed chapters and a bibliography.
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:40 PM   #16
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Quote:
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Imagine seeing that **** all over your legs Vicky! It's like a ****ing horror film!!! I want to vomit!
You made me itchy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicky91 View Post
always cook meals, i did have chinese takeaways the year before the corona **** happened
but now not into takeaways anymore
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
Did you get them delivered from Wuhan?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toy Soldier View Post
I would just like to take a second to congratulate Vicky, for creating the first Tibb post that needed chapters and a bibliography.
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:40 PM   #17
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I really want to google it now, but if I do I'll be scared they're all over me.
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:40 PM   #18
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omg Greg it'll be okay.

but stop having such slaggy friends srsly
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:41 PM   #19
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I don't think they have but then again my towel just hangs up in the bathroom, maybe someone has? I have absolutely no idea. I'll have to use a fresh towel tomorrow for drying myself after I've used the lotion, and then put both my towels in the wash. Eurgh
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:42 PM   #20
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-disinfects self after reading thread-
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:42 PM   #21
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The guy isn't even my friend, just an acquaintance, and I said he could stay over because he lives way out of town, this was on a night out. NEVER AGAIN.
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:42 PM   #22
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Still find it hilarious that you caught an std without the sexual part though
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicky91 View Post
always cook meals, i did have chinese takeaways the year before the corona **** happened
but now not into takeaways anymore
Quote:
Originally Posted by Niamh. View Post
Did you get them delivered from Wuhan?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toy Soldier View Post
I would just like to take a second to congratulate Vicky, for creating the first Tibb post that needed chapters and a bibliography.
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:43 PM   #23
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tis' quite the achievement.
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:43 PM   #24
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Why did I google that?! They can live in eyebrows and all, I feel so itchy on my face now for no reason.
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Old 28-10-2012, 10:43 PM   #25
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I swear this **** only happens to me! I am the unluckiest person in the world sometimes!!
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