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BB2 Brian Dowling, Helen and Paul, Dean and the rest of the Big Brother 2 housemates from 2001.

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Old 12-04-2002, 10:08 AM #51
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Default Helen\'s Drawers

ROB, roving reporter here!

Why is she at home, I hear you ask? Well, two days back at work was enough to make me decide I needed Friday as a holiday!

Now, back to Helen's Drawers on this morning's Lorraine:

Helen has acquired two 3 drawer filing cabinets, had them sprayed pink, and stuck pieces of ribbon and glitter strategically all over them.

Cue lots of 'rifling around in Helen's drawers' comments on the intro, with the film guy and Richard Blackwood looking on approvingly.

Just an excuse for Helen to show us some over priced celeb toys, trinkets and trivia again really, but she was in her element, doing little fanfares as she opened each drawer. She obviously loves this stuff, and she's getting paid for it. Can't be bad!

A couple of snippets:
She had a pretty pink and white confecture of a tiara in her hair, and looked well, bubbly and happy as can be, ring intact, all well

Not a sniff of a PC mention, although she did remark that the Sony Ido robot dog responded better to a male voice. (How sad am I?) I think he will be mentioned only on high days and holidays now, but we know he's there in the background somewhere, not to worry.

This is to be a weekly Friday feature, so it looks like it's Tuesdays and Fridays from now on, plus a few special reports. I was surprised to see Paul Tonkinson seems to be undertaking the commando course with soldiers we were promised with Helen, and there haven't been anymore of the fitness investigations she was supposed to do. Yet.

Anyway, the plus side is:- two regular weekly features for now; and Helen seems to be growing in confidence and bubbliness.

One little comedy note, when looking in one of her drwers she pulled out a long magician style link of enormous ROB size knickers, saying she had forgotten she'd left them in there. She underplayed it nicely, and I think she does have a real untapped comedic talent!

Over and out!
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Old 12-04-2002, 10:28 AM #52
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Another reason for me to invest in E4 and other digital stuff I suppose
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Old 12-04-2002, 06:27 PM #53
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Thanx for the report ROB, I never get to watch daytime TV unless I'm poorly - must remember to throw a sickie on Tuesdays or Fridays then!



Helen sounds like she is doing really well in her "slot" still. Good for her!!
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Old 12-04-2002, 07:22 PM #54
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Thanxs for the report too ROB

Must remember to watch tuesdays and fridays lorraine
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Old 16-04-2002, 09:48 AM #55
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Hello, ROB roving reporter here again!

Helen managed to make discussing potions and lotions watchable again this morning, and we even got a mention of the sainted PC!

'Now this body oil Lorraine, it takes ages to soak in. I couldn't put my pyjamas on,
I had to just stand there naked for five minutes and Paul said 'What are you doing Helen?'. '

Much chortling followed of course.

I mean, who needs an imagination to picture this household?

It's mad innit?

Pretty bog standard show for the rest. They keep aquiring presenters. I can only imagine they pay them very modestly

In the last couple of weeks they've acquired an old Californian Queen called Nelson to review LA gossip.

Today an unprepossessing pug faced bloke called Scott who used to be in 5 was interviewed and he made it clear he wanted a job presenting 'how about 3 times a week on Lorraine?' and bingo, he's back tomorrow to do pop panel.


I may be biased, but I think they should just develop two or three presenters, including Helen of course, so that people bond more with them.

Anyway, the girl done good again today!

She looked very pretty, radiant and chirpy as a cricket. She's obviously not half as bothered as I am by her sad underutilisation.


(Still breaking myself into the work ethos gently you'll note. Home today, but I won't be able to look at Helen's drawers live on Friday I'm afraid)
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Old 16-04-2002, 12:36 PM #56
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Thanks, ROB. I can't wait to get home tonight to see this, now.
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Old 16-04-2002, 03:21 PM #57
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Thanks for that, Ace Reporter ROB.

Sometimes reading your description of Helen on 'Lorraine' is almost better than watching the real thing!
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Old 16-04-2002, 08:15 PM #58
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Thank you for the body oil quote ROB, your description of this made me laugh out loud!!



It seem sall too realistic when compared with ROBs world (which is the reality isn't it, Lorraine is just the imaginary bit?)

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Old 19-04-2002, 04:29 PM #59
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Don't think I'll be able to match up to ROB's impeccable reporting skills, but I've just watched my tape of Helen on today's Lorraine, so here's a quick summary:

Helen was on the sofa at the start of the programme, looking extremely pretty, with her hair up and wearing black trousers and a black top with a pink, sparkly flower apliqued on the shoulder.

In 'Helen's Drawers' (for which she now has her very own introductory trailer) she was looking at celeb. must haves.

She showed quite a few things, including a handbag that Madonna had bought, costing £350, which she said she liked.

A pair of flip flops with a built-in magnetic strip to give you a reflexology workout, when Helen said she would prefer if they were pink and glittery!

A Dolce & Gabanna outfit, flown in from Milan, costing £500 which consisted of a stripy top and frilly skirt. Helen said 'It's not really me, Lorraine!' I thought it was hideous.

I've saved the best for last!

She also showed a mini playstation which she said would be a big hit with the boys, and said to Lorraine it would be small enought to fit into your handbag. Then she said I think Paul will be - 'can you bring it home please, Helen so I can play with it'.

Hurrah - a PC mention, on his birthday!
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Old 19-04-2002, 08:35 PM #60
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I saw it too Kaz got very excited of mention of PC. I wonder why the Friday show is pre-recorded??.. I tell you what though, i'm getting more and more attracted to Ben Shepard every day.
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Old 22-04-2002, 10:02 AM #61
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Excellent review again - thank you. I wonder sometimes if the actual thing can live up to the descriptions we get?

I think the Friday show gets pre-recorded because Lorraine Kelly doesn't do LK Today on Fridays either. She's very strict about her work not infringing on her family time, so it's probably all do do with that.

Good on Helen managing to mention her 2 favourite things - handbags and PC during an item on a Gameboy.
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Old 22-04-2002, 06:34 PM #62
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Is Lorraine recorded on Fridays? I had no idea!

So Helen only works Tues- Thurs then? Lucky woman! She can pamper and herself ready for the weekend, and for the unadulterated attention of Mr Clarke.

In fact, if I didn't like the lass so much I could be rather jealous.

Come to think of it, I am jealous.

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Old 23-04-2002, 01:05 PM #63
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Hi everyone, Peachy here, stand-in trainee roving reporter. I have been home from work today so caught Helen on Lorraine. I thought I'd try my hand at this reporting stuff. I can't compete with either Kaz or ROB but here goes.

Well Helen was in her Beauty Bar and she had a jar of moisturising cream which cost £350 for a smallish jar. She said it was quite nice (it would have had to guarantee to turn me into Catherine Zeta Jones overnight for me to spend that much, but never mind).

After going through various products, including a massage oil which she said she only tried on her arms (oh yes, we believe you Helen), Lorraine finished by saying that Helen had made it to celebrity status because she was 'being done' by Alistair McGowan on Friday night. They then showed a clip of McGowan and Ronni Ancona doing H&P. It was very funny as he had them watching themselves on Big Brother. Helen and Lorraine both thought it was hilarious and Helen said 'It's just what we do all the time'. I thought Ronni (hope that is her name) was much better at Helen than she was at Christmas and Helen said that she and Paul didn't mind a bit and thought the impersonation of them was very funny.

That was about it really. Helen looked happy,confident and at ease and all seemed well in her Little World
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Old 23-04-2002, 03:06 PM #64
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ET TU PEACHY

I came on earlier, just as you had beaten me to it, and went off in a strop. I mean, I am an artiste!

However, I have reflected that Shakespeare had to contend with Bacon, so I can also be magnanimous, especially on his birthday!

Jesting aside, a comprehensive interpretation of the subtleties and nuances of the performance, Peachy.

I would however like to add a couple of observations:

Firstly, THAT massage gel!

Apparently it comes from a shop that sells 'naughty things', although Helen did add that you can also order it off the web 'apparently'.

As Peachy said, Helen claimed to have only rubbed it into her arms herself.

She had a very cheeky face on her at that stage, I have reason to believe she was being a wee bit coy. The evidence:

She went on to say however that it:

'Don't come off on your underwear or on your bedsheets, Lorraine!'

Now, as for the Alistair McGowan clip:

Helen did indeed say, 'I love Helen and Paul at home, that's what we're like!' and laughed heartily at the concept.

I don't think Ronnie Ancona is even close with her impression, and the lovely Paul Clarke deserves to be treated with more reverence, bless him, but I'm sure it will be funny.

So, apparently they do sit on the floor, side by side, watching telly then! Lovely!

I hope they sometimes they still do this though......



If you can't see this, go to:
http://www.geocities.com/bigbrothers...er_dinner1.jpg

Cos, we all need a bit of romance, don't we Lorraine?

What say you?


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Old 23-04-2002, 07:39 PM #65
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Oh wow!!

Can't wait for the P & H clip(s)!!
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Old 23-04-2002, 09:33 PM #66
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There is a picture of Lorraine, Helen (wearing her posh bird top) and Ben Shephard in this months Sky digital magazine.

For those that don't have the Sky digital magazine Lorraine is interviewed and had the following comments to make about Helen.


"She's really come on so well. Nobody new whether or not she'd be able to do it, as she hadn't done anything like this before. She's been absolutely great. I told her, 'Be yourself, that's why people really warmed to you, so it would be ridiculous to change you in any way.' And that's what she has done. She's a lovely girl"

It's nice to hear Lorraine speak of her that way and even nicer to see how happy she is and the way she is enjoying herself which showed more than ever today.
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Old 23-04-2002, 09:49 PM #67
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Thanks for that banarama! I just wish Lorraine would utilise her a little more widely and bring her onto LK today and to a wider audience, because she is growing in confidence.

I've noticed that even in close up she is completely at ease now. She makes the best of her difficulties in enunciating words, and it's just endearing, not a disadvantage at all. She holds these little items rock steady for the camera, without a hint of a nervous tremble.

I still think, if she wants to, it is well within her capabilities to do more than she is doing now.

Still it's nice to see her a couple of times every week, looking happy and healthy.

Why wouldn't she?

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Old 26-04-2002, 10:47 PM #68
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Back in H's drawers today. Items in her drawers included Scholl shoes(in pink obviously!!), she was wearing a beautiful cross made from diamonds and rubies worth an extortionate amount of money, a shell suit jacket which h again revealed she owned a shell suit and said how much she loved it, and even tried it on but it was too small. Sorry but other items were less memorable, however she did show a pink fluffy papoose that all the stars are purchasing for their babies. At the end of the item Lorraine said how H could take everything home now and even tried to speed things along for us by saying that H might need the papoose, to which H replied "no, no, no definately not!". Oh well Lorraine you'll have to work on her for us
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Old 28-04-2002, 10:12 PM #69
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Thanks, chilledbootz - excellent review! Needless to say I forgot to set the video again - well that is the reason I started this thread in the first place, isn't it!

There's a blast from the past - Scholl sandals and shell suits - I remember them well - in fact I still have mine.
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Old 29-04-2002, 05:30 PM #70
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Thankyou for the excellent review. I can't watch it first hand anymore, but I did see it.

I didn't like the finality with which Helen said, No NO! re: the papoose. I know she is scared of the effect a pregnancy might have on her figure - she said she admires Madonna more than anyone because 'you wouldn't think she'd had two kids would you?'


I keep hoping she'll get broody, because we all know whose life wouldn't be complete without kids, don't we? Can't have him going elsewhere, because, much as I'd like to oblige, I do not have the tecnology, and they cannot rebuild me............
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Old 07-05-2002, 02:25 PM #71
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Plenty of Paul Clarke mentions to-day folk. Tell em about it ROB.
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Old 07-05-2002, 04:56 PM #72
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Love to, but can't!! Back at work, accidentally taped channel 5! Major trauma! Peachy to the rescue I think!!

(Old girl has some uses)
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Old 07-05-2002, 05:07 PM #73
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Oh, ROB, that IS a major trauma. I'm so sorry. I do hope Peachy can come to the rescue. Paul Clarke mentions are so few and far between these days.
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Old 07-05-2002, 07:38 PM #74
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Quote:
Originally posted by bananarama
Plenty of Paul Clarke mentions to-day folk. Tell em about it ROB.
Why cant U tell us about it Bananarama? PLEASE!!!!
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Old 07-05-2002, 08:46 PM #75
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Princess, if no-one else takes pity on us, rest assured that I have been vouchsafed a copy of today's programme on loan from my friend Peachy. I should have this in my hot little hands by tomorrow, and I will be happy to then peruse it and give you the full ROB interpretation of every smile, glance, nuance and word.

I feel we should savour every last appearance whilst we can.

By my calculations, Helen's last appearance will be on May 30th, which just happens to be her 24th birthday.

Now, it could be a sad occasion, or it could be a happy one.................


Mr Clarke, if you are sneakily checking the site from your tube at work, take heed! She needs you now, bite the bullet mate, get your backside down to H Samuels and get something BIG and SPARKLY, whizz the Audi down to the South Bank studios, park like Dustin Hoffman in the Graduate, leave the doors open, sprint up the stairs and burst into the set just as Helen is emerging from her last rummage through her drawers, holding in her hand the Versace nasal hair trimmer that Madge just had to buy for £2000, shout 'Helen', fall onto your knees and slide across the studio floor with the open ring case in your hand. Come to a standstill at her feet...............................

Say, 'Helen, you ARE the love of my life, the girl of my dreams, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with!

Be my lovely wife, and have my lovely children, which my life would not be complete without!'

Lorraine would be thrilled, and she would be so excited that she wouldn't remember to Grand in your Hand, or to talk to Nelson in Los Angeles.

The whole thing would be shown on the evening news, Twix would rethink their decision to pull out of the sponsorship deal and they would insist that Helen goes on GMTV as well.

And ROB would go back to her burrow as a happy little camper.

Now, is that too much to ask?

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