[Ninastar]

after posting about this in the theater or w.e the **** it's called now, i've decided to make a thread.

I was on my lunch from 12 till 1 today and when I came back into the room, i was asked if i could go help one of the kids go back to sleep because he was woken up by a screaming child.

I think fair enough, it happens.

So i walk into the room to find him jumping up and down on his pillow, cackling like a mad man while all the other children are sleeping.

i actually had to cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud.

another time a child was on a bike and she said 'i'm just going shopping for fresh air.' and then biked around the play ground, came back and said 'i've got some fresh'.... that made me giggle.

has anything a child said to you made you laugh?

feel free to post videos here too!

[Josy]

Kids are mad

I bought one of my nephews a kite when he was younger, he was about 3 or 4 and staying over with us so we went up the park to fly it but after trying and failing for a while I said "right cmon it's not working there's not enough wind" then when we got home my OH said to my nephew "was your kite good?" and he replied "no my aunty Josy must have bought cheap batteries"

[Ninastar]

that's hilarious.

I just remembered when my sister was 2/3, she woke my mum up by standing in her room and staring at her till she woke up. My mum jumped every single time... anyway, this time she woke up my mum because she couldn't sleep cause "the eyes were watching her"

my mum thought it was kinda creepy so she asked my sister to show her the eyes and it was the eyes of the cat on her pillow hahaha

all my mum did was turn the pillow around and she was fine.

still makes me laugh now.

[Smithy]

My cousins (he's 2 (or 3)) went to one of those health place things (that vicky made a thread about the other day) where they assess how you're kids progressing and whatever. And my aunt said it went really well and the woman said he was progressing really well, then just as she was leaving she dropped her pen and my cousin you silly bitch and the woman (although she told him not to say it) had tears in her eyes as she was leaving trying to stop herself from laughing

[Josy]

We were having a discussion in the admin forum the other day about kids doing embarassing things too, this is what I posted in there..

My niece Ebony (she's just turned 3) was in morrisons the other day and she's at the stage she notices everything so this woman was in the same isle and she had one of those dark birthmark things on her face and Ebonys shouting to her mum "that womans got a chocolate button on her face.

[Ninastar]

your cousin said that? how funny!

[Shaun]

it always sounds dodgy but i love sitting next to (or near) kids with their parents on buses and trains. On the train back to Bath about a month ago, a woman with her 3 children were sat next to me (one on her lap next to me, the other two on the other side) and the youngest (on her lap) kept asking me what I was doing Asking what an iPod was, what I was reading (I couldn't explain that it was about a teenager who goes on a killing spree) and asking to listen to some music (had to turn off Kendrick Lamar).

i can't think of any stand-out LOL moments though...

[Ninastar]

You should have growled at the child Shaun

[Vicky.]

Copied from the same convo josy was talking about..I didnt actually hear my niece say this but I do not doubt that it happened, just from how upset my sister was about it

My sisters daughter is 2..and she started shouting on the bus last month about how 'lady has dirty face, need washed' at a black woman

My sister was absolutely mortified. It was ****ing hilarious listening to her telling us about it, she looked like she was going to cry

Last I heard my sis was trying to teach her daughter about different races to stop things like this happening again. IDK if a 2 year old will understand it or not though

[Ninastar]

jesus christ, that reminds me of the first time the kids in my room first saw the black child (the only black child in the whole nursery)

one of the girls said (Darcey!!! what's that!?) and she pointed at the black child. Her friend then said (Oh, thats Sinjad) who was actually a pakistani child of the opposite sex.

(fake names btw)

but yeah, i nearly died. this was when i first started so I had no idea what to say.

[Z]

When I was teaching in Germany I had this one lesson where it was with these 9 year olds and they had to talk in English about their ideal holiday and their idea of the holiday from hell, and this one girl goes "I would hate to go to Poland because they smell and they steal" and I'm just sitting there like what am I supposed to say?! So I start to tell her that it's wrong for her to say that and she's like "Why, was my English not good?" and I just started laughing, omg it was so inappropriate, she just didn't understand what was wrong with what she said, she thought it was an actual problem with her English aaahhh...

[lostalex]

that's not really funny... it's just racist...

I think Nina was going for more the funny cute side of kids, not the funny wow germans are still nazi's side of kids....

[Z]

I know it's racist, the humour comes from the fact she didn't realise it was racist and she thought it was because of her English.

[lostalex]

So... finish the story then... do you ask her why she would say that about Polish people? did you inform her how offensive what she said was? how did she react? Did you contact her parents? or talk to any of the administrators at the school? It's pretty disturbing... don't you think?

[Ninastar]

I laughed Greg.

Kids are such little ****s sometimes and that's what makes it funny.

[Z]

Well Alex, the rest of the story isn't funny, and I don't want to give the humour police any reason to arrest me.

[lostalex]

Who's Greg?

[Z]

I'm Greg.

[Ninastar]

Please don't get my thread closed

[Z]

When I was little I thought fax machines literally sent things to the end destination (I basically invented 3D printing about 20 years before it became a thing) so I used to climb onto the back of the sofa and slide down it on my front and shout "I'M A FAX!!" This mystified my parents up until about two years ago when I was at my dad's work and for some reason they still have a fax machine they need to use daily and I told him what I used to think fax machines did and he was like "Oh my God, mystery solved!" and called my mum there and then pmsfl

[Ninastar]

That is adorable.

I'm a fax pahahaha

[Ninastar]

We had a really shy neighbour who wouldn't talk to anyone. Every day my sister would walk up to him and say 'hello, hello, hello, hello...' until he said it back.

[GypsyGoth]

Aww, that's really sweet

[Brother Leon]

Niece coming to London on Saturday. Will update thread when she does

[AnnieK]

My son had to go the doctors last week and when the doctor asked what was wrong he said "I have a tummy ache in my knee" He actually had a virus but decided that was what was wrong.

He also listens to everything you say even when you don't think so and a few months ago he fell downstairs and broke his collar bone and I was talking to my friend about it and said I felt so guilty when I took him to hospital that I thought they would judge me and that I hurt him deliberately and he said...."why did you try to hurt me mummy...all I wanted to do was give you a cuddle!" Destroyed me in one sentance.