[SiMoN!]

Where's Susie? She's been in the Diary Room for ages and the conspiracy theories have been flying looser than Jennie's hair extensions.


So when she appeared, after half an hour in the golden chair, everyone wanted to know where she'd been.

"Oh my God, Susie, what happened?" cried Aisleyne, running to welcome her.

"I'm a husk of a woman," sighed Susie, looking a little pale. "They've worn me out and I don't love Big Brother anymore. They threw me in a telephonic abyss. I was parched. And there was supermarket music and it would stop and say 'You are number seven in the queue'. They were taking the p**** out of me."

"We thought you'd been evicted," said Aisleyne.

"We were coming up with all these theories," confessed Richard.

"I waited all the way through and I pressed number one then I went back to the end of the queue. They were doing it to drive me mad," said Susie, coming up with a conspiracy of her own.

"I thought it had broken down. Then I thought because it was automated they'd forgotten all about me. There's a limit to what you can do in there," said Susie. Did you think of calling the operator?

"But you didn't get rid of me that easily," she then laughed.

"Oh don't say that, I was almost crying," said Aisleyne. "I thought you were a goner."

And we thought the Brits loved queuing.Queue Must Be Joking