[Conzors]

Hey!

I've noticed that a lot of people feel the need they have to reveal their friend's or their own sexual orientation when they are first meeting someone. I have also noticed that people tend to ask someone about their sexual orientation on the first meeting, when it is stereo-typically obvious that someone is hetro or homosexual.

E.g. - Hey this is my friend Conor, he's gay. or Hey, I'm Conor, I'm Gay or Hey, I'm Conor -Omg are you gay?, I love gay people.

Its more the first former than the latter. And I really don't understand why?!?!

To me, a sexual orientation is like a food preference. It has the same significance. I wouldn't go up to someone and say Hey, I'm Conor and i like pasta, or you wouldnt ask if i liked pasta (unless it was part of our convo).

It just really bugs me, people are still people regardless of which minority group they associate with, and when people get generalised for being in that minority group.

Eg. Muslims, Gay, Black, etc - people are people, they might have the same beliefs, same way of living, same skin colour but everyone acts upon it differently and should be treated on how they act and what they are like as a person, and not their minority group.

Your thoughts?

[Black Dagger]

Nah, it took like my college classmates two months to know that I was gay. I'd rather people know me for being me, not just because they know I like dick.

[Josy]

No I dont.

I have never met anyone thats introduced themselves that way either.

[Withano]

I don't do it and I'd find it weird if somebody else did. The only explanation for doing it would be wanting to shag'm and needing to know if the two strangers are on the same page. Its still weird though.

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by Josy

No I dont.

I have never met anyone thats introduced themselves that way either.

[2].

[Marcus.]

never know someone to do that

[Novo]

Yes i always start conversations with new people by saying " Hello my name is Andy and i am straight oh and also you can find me on The ThisIsBigBrother forum educating Legend Killer "

[Conzors]

It's so weird and annoying when it happens. It doesn't happen so often now in my adult life - but in my late teens it happened alot and i don't get why. Like me for me, not just because i aparantly love shopping and know what top goes with what bottoms.

[Jack_]

Never met anyone that's asked or told me their sexuality on first meeting. And I've never told anyone mine either (well I don't in general but still).

I have always found the 'do you have a girlfriend then?' asked to guys or 'so, any guys you like at the minute?' to girls questions inadvertently offensive though, I know that's how everyone's been brought up but I do hope that one day we reach a stage where the question is 'do you have a partner/any guys or girls you like atm?' or questions that aren't gender specific and are open ended, as it is it's quite stereotypical to just assume everyone's straight.

[Conzors]

Originally Posted by Jack_

Never met anyone that's asked or told me their sexuality on first meeting. And I've never told anyone mine either (well I don't in general but still).

I have always found the 'do you have a girlfriend then?' asked to guys or 'so, any guys you like at the minute?' to girls questions inadvertently offensive though, I know that's how everyone's been brought up but I do hope that one day we reach a stage where the question is 'do you have a partner/any guys or girls you like atm?' or questions that aren't gender specific and are open ended, as it is it's quite stereotypical to just assume everyone's straight.

Agree with you there.
x

[Shaun]

It tends to come up if I'm drinking It's sort-of a go-to ice breaker at university, along with all the usuals:

- What are you studying
- Whereabouts do you live
- Aren't the buses crap
- What year are you in

But yeah, there's always a bit of a side-comment somewhere along the parties or nights out where the person you've just met is like "so are you...?"

I don't bring it up though

[Conzors]

Well its not like i go out of my way to not bring it up - if its relevant to the covnersation, like sex or boyfriends etc.

you know?
x

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Conzors

Hey!

I've noticed that a lot of people feel the need they have to reveal their friend's or their own sexual orientation when they are first meeting someone. I have also noticed that people tend to ask someone about their sexual orientation on the first meeting, when it is stereo-typically obvious that someone is hetro or homosexual.

E.g. - Hey this is my friend Conor, he's gay. or Hey, I'm Conor, I'm Gay or Hey, I'm Conor -Omg are you gay?, I love gay people.

Its more the first former than the latter. And I really don't understand why?!?!

To me, a sexual orientation is like a food preference. It has the same significance. I wouldn't go up to someone and say Hey, I'm Conor and i like pasta, or you wouldnt ask if i liked pasta (unless it was part of our convo).

It just really bugs me, people are still people regardless of which minority group they associate with, and when people get generalised for being in that minority group.

Eg. Muslims, Gay, Black, etc - people are people, they might have the same beliefs, same way of living, same skin colour but everyone acts upon it differently and should be treated on how they act and what they are like as a person, and not their minority group.

Your thoughts?

..does that really happen a lot, then Conzors..?....I don't know why people would do that..sexuality isn't really something that I've ever found mentioned casually....whenever it has been mentioned in my friendship circles, it's been more of a discussion about a specific aspect to it...I don't really mention or take part in any discussions about someone's specific sex activities unless they have a particular concern they want to talk about because I think it's a very personal thing and not something really that I'm interested in....

[lostalex]

Mostly when it's a girl that is being flirty. That's when I feel under the most pressure to say my sexuality. I won't just out right say it though, i'll just find a way to work it into the conversation so that she gets the message without being embarassed for flirting with a gay guy. It is funny to see the change in their behavior once you say it though.

[Ammi]

..how does their behavious change, Alex..are they cold toward you or something..?...

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..how does their behavious change, Alex..are they cold toward you or something..?...

not cold, but they smile less, arn't as bubbly and enthusiastic to talk to me. less eye contact. You know, when girls are flirting they are the sweetest nicest engaging people on the planet. As soon as realize nothing is gonna happen, they completely change.

My best friend is the absolute worst. It's so easy to tell when she likes a guy. Everything about her changes. Her posture, her voice, her personality, everything.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

not cold, but they smile less, arn't as bubbly and enthusiastic to talk to me. less eye contact. You know, when girls are flirting they are the sweetest nicest engaging people on the planet. As soon as realize nothing is gonna happen, they completely change.

My best friend is the absolute worst. It's so easy to tell when she likes a guy. Everything about her changes. Her posture, her voice, her personality, everything.

..that's really quite sad...so you don't feel that they're interested in getting to know that person, then..?...maybe they would become good friends, it isn't all about sexual attraction, I think some people bond as friends almost instantly..it's kind of an unexplainable thing....

[lostalex]

Frankly the type of girls that normally flirt with me, i wouldn't be interested in being friends with anyway. Its usually only the dumb clown faced porn-star looking girls that ever flirt with me. dumb girls. The attention is nice for a while though.

[thesheriff443]

if the sheriff was gay the world would stop turning
in an older age group I cant say I have ever heard it, maybe its the younger generation at college.

but I can imagine straight people in a gay club or bar, the first words as some says hello , is im straight can cant be here long, i have got to get back to the wife and kids

[Ninastar]

No, if someone mentioned that they gay/bi/straight/whatever every time they met someone, i'd think they were obnoxious

[armand.kay]

People normally can tell with me, and if I meet someone new it would I would normal find out through conversations. I'm never really fell the to let people know my sexuality and I don't really care for others

[arista]

Originally Posted by Conzors

Hey!

I've noticed that a lot of people feel the need they have to reveal their friend's or their own sexual orientation when they are first meeting someone. I have also noticed that people tend to ask someone about their sexual orientation on the first meeting, when it is stereo-typically obvious that someone is hetro or homosexual.

E.g. - Hey this is my friend Conor, he's gay. or Hey, I'm Conor, I'm Gay or Hey, I'm Conor -Omg are you gay?, I love gay people.

Its more the first former than the latter. And I really don't understand why?!?!

To me, a sexual orientation is like a food preference. It has the same significance. I wouldn't go up to someone and say Hey, I'm Conor and i like pasta, or you wouldnt ask if i liked pasta (unless it was part of our convo).

It just really bugs me, people are still people regardless of which minority group they associate with, and when people get generalised for being in that minority group.

Eg. Muslims, Gay, Black, etc - people are people, they might have the same beliefs, same way of living, same skin colour but everyone acts upon it differently and should be treated on how they act and what they are like as a person, and not their minority group.

Your thoughts?

No this is wrong
you need to try to get away from this
its not needed with new people you may meet.

I find that women constantly tell me that they're lesbians, even when I know they're not. Seems a bit strange.

[Conzors]

Originally Posted by arista

No this is wrong
you need to try to get away from this
its not needed with new people you may meet.

I personally dont say it, but some of friends back in the day would be like - this is conor, he's gay.

[Jack_]

^ you should tell them not to do that if you don't like it