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Conzors · 19-02-2014, 08:52 PM

Hey!

I've been dating this guy for about a month now and i'm not sure what to do.

I love his personality, its a bit too much at times and ott and can be a bit annoying but overall its fine.

He is just an average guy appearance wise, which also, i dont mind.

But over this month i just dont know how i feel about him and im scared ive been leading him on we have slept in a bed together and done stuff (not the whole thing) and its not really great haha but that doesnt bother me too much.

He's spent alot of money coming to see me (i have offered to go there but hes always insistant on coming here so i let him) he also gave me £40 when i lost my wallet and took me to see wicked etc.

He payed for a hotel room and that for me and the trains were ****ed so i couldnt go anyways but i just feel this is all a bit toooo much for someone whos been seeing eaach other since middle of january? and i told him we need to calm down and he needs to consult me before he books anything (as much as i loved the idea of a hotel and wicked etc he just needs to ask me first)

Ive just said to him that i do like him but we just need to chill a bit - but i dont really think i want to be with him anymore and i guess ive just thought that as time went on id like him more but i havent.

he is a really nice guy and i think i will miss him not being a part of my life but im scared that hes gonna be really upset if i tell him.

i have been distant from him lately and hes kept talking and i just dont know what to do

i do like him but i dont know aarrrhghghghghghg.

someone please help haha.

cheers.
xxxxx

--------------------
UPDATE 22/2/14

I know im making this sound really all about me and stuff but i went all the way to his to have 'the talk' and end it there and then and we did have a little argument about our expectations and our feelings of each other! But he was just pissing me off from the moment i saw him. Talking allll the time about stuff i've heard already and we talk everyday so when we see each other theres nothing to talk about (ive mentioned this to him)

AND THEN
just before i was about to say, i just dont think this is working out, HE PULLS OUT THIS VALENTINES CARD THAT SAYS.... 'WE MAKE A LOVELY PEAR, WITH TWO PEARS ON IT HOLDING HANDS' and then inside had a little message with TWO TICKETS TO THE HARRY POTTER STUDIO WORLD TOUR THING.

I love harry potter, and have already been to it but was saying to mum how i would LOVE to go again and he just bought them for me!

How on earth could i reject them and dump them, as they are non-returnable and he musta spent alot of money on them!

I would of felt so bad dumping him, so i didnt.

I still feel the same as i did before and NOW IM IN A BIG PICKLE I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO EVEN MORE.

I had my mind sent this morning that i was gonna end it and then look what happened!

I am a tad drunk right now, as we had a few pints at the pub before i left but OMG HELP.

x

Vicky. · 19-02-2014, 08:55 PM

Dont say with him just incase he gets upset over splitting. It will make you feel worse in the long run and you will end up resenting him.

Also dont feel guilty over the money thing, I know you havent said that but the fact that you added that into your post kinda says thats on your mind too. He chose to spoil you, thats not your problem

Conzors · 19-02-2014, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Dont say with him just incase he gets upset over splitting. It will make you feel worse in the long run and you will end up resenting him.

Also dont feel guilty over the money thing, I know you havent said that but the fact that you added that into your post kinda says thats on your mind too. He chose to spoil you, thats not your problem

it is on my mind because all that money hes spent and ive just let him do it.
im such a mug.

Vicky. · 19-02-2014, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Conzors

it is on my mind because all that money hes spent and ive just let him do it.
im such a mug.

I wouldnt say you were a mug at all. Its only money, and he chose to spend it on you.

Ammi · 19-02-2014, 08:57 PM

..I think if he likes you a lot more than you like him and you don't think that your feelings will get stronger, then you should probably tell him, Connor...just be honest with him...

Vanessa · 19-02-2014, 09:01 PM

Just be honest with him. It's always the best thing to do to avoid misunderstandings.

mizzy25 · 19-02-2014, 09:01 PM

Tell him you think you would be better as friends. x

Vicky. · 19-02-2014, 09:01 PM

Think of it this way..if you stay with him just to save him being upset, you will end up splitting much later down the line..and he will have spent more..invested more time, and be even more into you by then so it will be even harder. And if you DONT split later down the line but you still arent into him, then you are just going to be miserable and missing out on meeting the right person

Kate! · 19-02-2014, 09:02 PM

I agree with Vicky.

Plus, for me there are two possible scenarios ( Not saying either is right as unless I actually knew him I can't assess him fairly ) one is that he is just too nice. Boring. I've had 'beige' boyfriends and you feel bad cos they've done absolutely nothing wrong, there's just no spark. The other is that he's (for what reason and not necessarily deliberately I have to say) kind of buying you/guilt tripping you?

If it doesn't feel right, then you should make the break. Good luck Conor.

Conzors · 19-02-2014, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Kate*

I agree with Vicky.

Plus, for me there are two possible scenarios ( Not saying either is right as unless I actually knew him I can't assess him fairly ) one is that he is just too nice. Boring. I've had 'beige' boyfriends and you feel bad cos they've done absolutely nothing wrong, there's just no spark. The other is that he's (for what reason and not necessarily deliberately I have to say) kind of buying you/guilt tripping you?

If it doesn't feel right, then you should make the break. Good luck Conor.

yes hes nice!
thats all there is to him!

Conzors · 19-02-2014, 09:02 PM

ive also been lying to him to avoid him and now i feel bad about lying argh!

Vanessa · 19-02-2014, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Conzors

ive also been lying to him to avoid him and now i feel bad about lying argh!

Just talk to him and be honest.

Ammi · 19-02-2014, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Conzors

ive also been lying to him to avoid him and now i feel bad about lying argh!

..I think you'll feel a lot better if you talk to him and tell him how you feel, Connor...it may be hard but it will feel a relief after you've done it...

Vanessa · 19-02-2014, 09:09 PM

You can always stay friends.

thesheriff443 · 19-02-2014, 09:04 PM

the biggest feeling you have towards him is guilt!, that's not a good foundation for any relationship, you know what you need to do!

Conzors · 19-02-2014, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

the biggest feeling you have towards him is guilt!, that's not a good foundation for any relationship, you know what you need to do!

i know i know i just dont know how.

thesheriff443 · 19-02-2014, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Conzors

i know i know i just dont know how.

there is no easy way, well there is!, send him an email or text with your true feelings, but don't let your self be backed into a corner.

Kate! · 19-02-2014, 09:09 PM

Just say, you're a good friend, I think a lot of you, but there's no spark between us. That way you're not saying anything negative about him, just that the spark is missing, no chemistry. He can't really take offence at that.