[Kate!]

Here are the entries ....

Team 1 - The Plastics



When we read the task we were all left speechless. mg:
OMG! How the hell are we going to write a comedy routine? It's impossible.
We're going to try, but it's going to be hard. None of us are comedians!
Anyway, the people in our group have been members of TIBB for some time and we can't imagine not being part of it.
Most of us have found it hard going at first, because everything was new.
Posting on TiBB is like learning a new language... weave, drag, ha, orangu. mooriah....I mean what do these words actually mean? Do people speak like that in real life or is TiBB really an alternative dimension? And don't get me started on the gif posting! I can't work out if they are complimentary or damned insulting. To report or not to report, that is the question.
It takes most people a good few years to really feel more comfortable and part of the family.
Being in here is a real rollercoaster ride, with a lot of ups and downs.
Just when you think everything is going well something happens, like an argument with someone. This place is like a battleground, especially on season.
Most of us get on well with most people and even if there are falling outs they're easily sorted out, even though some people sure can hold a grudge!
Anyway, we love coming here and having a chat with everyone, even though sometimes things can get quite heated.
What makes this forum special are the people in it. Each and every member is unique in his own way.
There are some people our group find easier to get on with and they make us laugh, like Kazanne, Cherie, michael and Kate. They're naturally funny and this is the kind of humour that the forum needs.
Michael threads are bizarre to say the least, but he always brings a smile to people's faces. We wonder which takeaway he's having now, while watching the footie.
At the moment we're on season, so most of the threads are about Big Brother.
This year the show has had a lot of arguments, but strangely there haven't been many falling outs on TIBB. Not sure why, but we're not complaining.
Some of us don't usually open many threads, because of the dreaded "thread fail". What if no one posts on the thread?
We have had some new members, which is fantastic and we really hope they stick around.
TIBB is the place to be!



------------

Team 2 : Misfortunes

[Applause]
Good evening! Welcome, welcome, to the TiBB Roast... that's an awkward venue name isn't it? I mean, sure, it's no 'Me. I am Salman', or 'The Magic Lizard', but still... hardly rolls off the tongue.
Tonight, we have a lineup of beautiful and beastly TiBBers - Josy, Scott, Legend Killer, Z, bwoty and Niamh - gathered to pay their respects to TiBB's newest retiree: Benjamin. I'm your host, Shaun... [holds for applause, gets none]
Gee, that Ben, huh? I'm not saying that he's old now, but he's beginning to make Niamh's wrinkles disappear. Honestly, stand him next to her and he's like the Picture of Dorian Gray. And this is Niamh we're talking about... did you hear about the time that Niamh discovered puberty? It's in the Bible, they call it the parting of the red sea.
But it'll be nice to see Ben settle down as one of the forum's most dignified gays... unlike Scott, over there - is he actually gobbling a guy as we speak? Scott, get that dick out of your mouth.
[Applause]
its not a dick shaun its a bunch of pills because ben makes me want to kill myself
jk ily ben ok x
idk what im doing at a roast where there arent two guys at either end of me like what do i do
and why is bwoty here i mean i know i love irrelevant females but srsly theres a limit
and then theres josy ugh like what does she even do but infract people
let me tell you my favourite story about ben
i had a dream one time that me and ben were at the gym together and he was doing squats and i was trying really hard not to you know, look, but i did and then i saw that he had a semi and then i woke up and i had a semi
isnt that a nice story
ben youre a sf lovely never change goodnight
[Applause]
Thanks, Scott, that was beautiful. I think bwoty needs to defend herself, though-
[Applause]
YES, Shaun. Please keep quoting me, I always yawn when I am interested. CLOCKED
Scott. Your parents really hit the JERKpot. CLOCKED
Niamh. Is 50 your age or your IQ? CLOCKED
Legend killer. Well done, you're proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. CLOCKED
Z. Other members live and learn, you just live. CLOCKED
Josy. Sorry, I missed your post..I was just trying to imagine you with a personality there. CLOCKED
Ben, sweetie... you've been CLOCKED

[Bewildered applause]
...OK. Now, everybody, get the tomatoes out. Here's Josy.
[No one applauds]
I've actually never ****ing liked any of you either, OK
Ben, the way you've joined the weaves just as yours is greying hasn't gone unnoticed. Hell, your hairline is fading so fast, PETA are investigating whether it's being used for fur.
And as I look around tonight, I see so many dear friends... Z, over there, my fellow Scotsman. I don't want to say he's clumsy, exactly, but when we hugged hello tonight he groped my tit and called me Jessie. He's such a mess, he makes Amanda Bynes look like she's got her life together.
And then there's Scott... I'm so glad you're back, Scott. I've missed the pictures of dildos, and your mugshots, on my wall.
But Ben, I'm so sorry to hear you're retiring from the forum... if you need a stairlift out of here, I'm sure Niamh knows some reputable firms.
[Applause]
Yes, thanks Josy. I may need a walking stick every now and then but at least I can go five minutes without shoving something long and thin up my nunny.
And what fine hosting we're having tonight from Shaun... Shaun's so seasoned at hosting TiBB events, in fact in the dressing rooms just now I overheard him planning a game where the winner actually gets a ****ing life. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
And there's Legend Killer as well... he loves the Irish, doesn't he? But he's not so popular with you English. I guess he's the total opposite of Mrs. Brown's Boys, then.
But tonight's all about Ben, isn't it? I'm so glad he's hit 30. Maybe now, another TiBBer can receive the spam email from Saga and Axa life insurance.
[Applause]
Great stuff, Niamh. A pleasure as always. Now, I believe Z has something prepared for us...
[Z steps up towards the microphone but realises the audience are already laughing; he's wet himself. He looks down, mortified, and stumbles backward off the stage. The audience scream with laughter]
Oh Greg... um... in that case, Legend Killer, it's time for you to wrap it up?
[Applause]
I just wanted to say that bwoty has been stealing my EPIC catchphrases - you have been EDUCATED
Ben you're English and everything but lmfao do you even know who Roy Keane is???
Niamh you do right I mean even though you're a woman you know who the legend ROY KEANE is
Josy, Shaun, Z... man i can't even begin with you like where is your respect for roy? you probably like Alex Ferguson you're all Scottish aren't you-
Well, actually, no, but-
ROY KEANE
[Applause]
Well that's all for tonight. I'm meant to write up a bit for Ben here but I left this last minute GOOD BYE

Team 3 : The Sugary Tits

"Reece and Jordan go on about clocking people which is ironic as they probably can't tell the time"
"Most people only come on here just to keep up TiBB Nomination appearances"

[Pete.]

Who wrote that tho

[Shaun]

split them up and throw them on our teams tbh

[Pete.]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

The third team is not submitting anything, so they are not losing any money. It doesn't seem fair.

Oh we submit something

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Petemitch

Oh we submit something

Kate said she only has two entries.

[Pete.]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

Kate said she only has two entries.

So far

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Petemitch

So far

Ah, ok. i thought she only got two entries.

[Pete.]

Originally Posted by Petemitch

Who wrote that tho

.

[Vanessa]

This is only a game. We're here to have fun.

[Pete.]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

This is only a game. We're here to have fun.

Indeed

[Shaun]

is ours being posted or...

[Vanessa]

Is the new task being posted tonight? I have work tomorrow.

[Kate!]

Sorry guys got distracted

[Kate!]

Next task will be posted tomorrow evening.... Around 6pm. Prepare for a bit of a shake up and remember you have black balls

The winners of this task are (and this won't be a surprise lol) Team 2!'

Gratz chaps.

[Vanessa]

I never expected to win. I'm terrible at writing.

[Kate!]

Scores so far.... Edited!!

All teams had 500 Tibbloons to start (logo poll still pending)

After task 1 .....

Team 1 - 525 (gambled 25) winners of task
Team 2 - 450 ( gambled 50)
Team 3 - 450 (docked 50 for no submission)

After task 2 ....

Team 1 - 515 (gambled 10)
Team 2 - 500 (gambled 50) winners of task
Team 3 - 400 (docked 50 for no submission)

After Task 3 ....

Team 1 - 505 (gambled 10)
Team 2 - 550 (gambled 50) winners of task
Team 3 - ???? How much did you gamble?

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by *Kate*

Scores so far....

All teams had 500 Tibbloons to start (logo poll still pending)

After task 1 .....

Team 1 - 475 (gambled 25)
Team 2 - 550 ( gambled 50)
Team 3 - 450 (docked 50 for no submission)

After task 2 ....

Team 1 - 465
Team 2 - 600
Team 3 - 400

After Task 3 ....

Team 1 - 455
Team 2 - 650
Team 3 - ???? How much did you gamble?

Kate, didn't our team win the 1st task? i tought we did.

[Shaun]

yeah you did IIRC

[Vanessa]

So why have we lost the Ł 25 if we won the task? Team two have doubled their money, but they lost the task.

[Kate!]

Sorry, I'm falling asleep, apologies Ness.

I'll amend it.

[Vanessa]

Tell me about it. I have work tomorrow.

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by *Kate*

Sorry, I'm falling asleep, apologies Ness.

I'll amend it.

Don't worry about it.

[T*]

Omg the second teams

[Vanessa]

I'm going to bed now. Good night everyone.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Tom!

Omg the second teams

..yeah I love it but it's not really the second teams at all so much as Shaun's and his one man stand up.......