[Moviefan]

(No haters of the show please lol) jk

Like the title said



Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

Homer: Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!

Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Bart's looking for his dog]
Willy: Yeah, I bought your mutt - and I 'ate 'im.
[Bart gasps]
Willy: I 'ate 'is little face, I 'ate 'is guts, and I 'ate the way 'e's always barkin'. So I gave 'im to the church.
Bart: Ohhh, I see... you HATE him, so you gave him to the church.
Willy: Aye. I also 'ate the mess he left on me rug.
[Bart stares]
Willy: Ya heard me.

Bart doing a newscast on a kids news show]
Bart: Joe Banks, 82 years young, has come to this pond everyday for the past 17 years to feed the ducks. But last month Joe made a discovery: the ducks were gone. Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think Joe used to sit down there near those ducks. But it could be that there's just no room, in this modern world, for an old man and his ducks.


Maude Flanders: They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down.

[Ned snaps after his newly built house collapses and his glasses break.]
Ned: AW, HELL DIDILLY-DING-DONG-CRAP! CAN'T YOU MORONS DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!
[Everyone gasps]
Marge: Ned, we meant well, and everyone here tried their best.
Ned: Well, my family and I can't live on good intentions, Marge! Oh, your family's out of control but we can't blame you because you have GOOD INTENTIONS!
Bart: Hey, back off, Man!
Ned: OH! OK dude! I wouldn't want you to have a cow, MAN! Hey, here's a catchphrase you'd better learn for your adult years: Hey buddy, GOT A QUARTER?!
[Everyone gasps]
Bart: I am shocked and appalled.
Lisa: Mr. Flanders, with all due respect, Bart didn't do anything!
Ned: Oh! Do I hear the sound of butting in? It must be little Lisa Simpson: Springfield's answer to a question that NO ONE ASKED!
[Cheif Wiggum laughs]
Ned: What do we have here? The long, flabby arm of the law. The last case you got to the bottom of, was a case of Mallomars!
Krusty: Mallomars! That's going in the act.
Ned: Oh, yeah, the clown. The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh! (Sees Lenny) And as for you! I don't know you but I'm sure you're a jerk!
Lenny: Hey! I've only been here a few minutes! What's going on?
Ned: (to Moe) You ugly, hate-filled man!
Moe: Hey, Hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I -- Uh, what was the third thing you said?
Ned: (quietly but angrily) Homer...you are the worst human being I have ever met...
Homersmiling) Hey, I got off pretty easy..

Homer: What? This can't be right! I don't even believe in Jebus!
...
Bart: No way, she's faking! If Lisa stays home, I stay home.
Lisa: If Bart stays home, I'm going to school.
Bart: Fine, then... Wait a minute... If Lisa goes to school, then I go to school, but then Lisa stays home, so I stay home, so Lisa goes to school...
Marge: Lisa, don't confuse your brother like that.

Lisa: [takes the paw] I wish for world peace. [the second finger on the paw closes]
Homer: Lisa, that was very selfish of you!


Homer: I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, AND I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?
[The monkey paw's final finger curls up. A turkey sandwich materializes in midair. Homer takes it]
Homer: Hey! Not bad. Nice, hot mustard. Good bread. The turkey's a little dry. The turkey's a little dry! O foul accursed thing! What demon from the depths of Hell created thee?!

Ralph: i feel like chicken already ... i just laid A egg in MY pants

Burns: I should've known you were the only one stupid enough to kidnap you! Now get down here so I can spank you in front of this gawking rabble. Smithers, take off my belt

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'

Homer: it was hard for me to, i had to wear a suit
Homer: You might say it barking up the wrong bush
Homer Brain: There it is homer, The Smartest think you ever said and no one was around to here it
Homer: Do'h
Nelson: We're trapped in the school!
Kids: Aaaahhh!
Milhouse: We're gonna miss Christmas!
Kids: Aaaaaaaahhhhh!
Skinner: I fixed the DVD!
Kids: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Homer: God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game.
[doorbell rings]
Ned: Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two
tick --
Homer: [slams the door] Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up
there.
[Marge scrapes it off into Homer's hands]
Lisa: And now you can go back to just being you, instead of a one-
dimensional character with a silly catch-phrase.
Homer: [breaks a lamp] D'oh!
Bart: Ay, caramba!
Marge: Mmm.
Maggie: [sucks her pacifier]
Flanders: Heidely-ho.
Barney: [burps]
Nelson: Ha, ha!
Burns: Ex-cellent!
[Everyone looks at Lisa]
Lisa: [unimpressed] If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room.
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.


# (Homer and Ned are driving to school to rescue the kids, and Homer hits a bump in the road)
Ned: I think we hit something.
Homer: I hope it's Flanders! He-he-he-he-he! lol
(He notices Ned glaring at him)
Homer: I'm just kidding. Hey, you're all right. (He playfully punches Ned's arm)


Lisa: Dad, women won't like being shot in the face.
Homer: Women will like what I tell them to like.



I think of more tomorrow