[MB.]

Originally Posted by BigBrotherDude17

Love the housemates! I am loving this so far!

Thank you too

And so yeah, this happened whilst I was bored. Here's a recap of the post-launch show paper headlines that have nothing to do with anything

[Cal.]

'We're now covering Big Brother for some reason...let's put it down to the menopause'

[MB.]

(A very busy) Day 5 will be coming in a sec

[MB.]

V/O: 8:13am. Most of the housemates are asleep in the bedroom. Tisha has come to the diary room.

Tisha: Hey Big Brother, I know you’re probably gonna say no, but it’s worth asking, can we have a takeaway tonight? Cause I woke up and I really fancied a Chinese but it’s a bit rude to have Chinese for breakfast and s**t so I thought I’d ask you for later on. Or Indian, Indian’d be nice. Or pizza maybe. Thanks.

Big Brother: Good morning, Tisha.

Tisha: Oh yeah, morning. Now can we have a takeaway tonight?

Big Brother: Tisha, Big Brother will get back to you.

Tisha: Come on, say yes.

Tisha flutters her eyes at the camera.

Big Brother: Tisha, the diary room door is now open.

Tisha: I’m not backing down on this one, Bruv!

Tisha leaves the diary room and goes back to bed.

V/O: 9:44am. All of the housemates are now awake. Billy is in the kitchen, making breakfast. Nadine, Greg, Priscilla and Edwin are in the living area.

Billy: How many am I cooking this for?

Greg: Well, Nadine and Priscilla have already had cereal, and Candie told me she isn’t really feeling hungry, so cook about a dozen and we can pick and choose from there. That’ll be the easiest way.

Billy: How can she not be hungry? I bet you that she just doesn’t want to eat my food, that’s all. (muttering) Silly girl.

Priscilla: (to Nadine) Billy’s being a bit grumpy, isn’t he?

Nadine: Mmm.

V/O: 10:25am. Candie, Eloise and Leon have been called to the diary room.

Eloise: Back again, I see…

Big Brother: Hello, Candie. Hello, Eloise. Hello, Leon.

Candie: Morning!

Leon: Yeah… hi.

Big Brother: Currently, Eloise, you have banked 80 coins. Candie and Leon, you have both banked 75 coins each. However, for 60 of your coins, Big Brother would like to offer you all a personal luxury shopping budget for each of your stays in the house. Even if the house fails the week’s shopping task and receives the minimum of one pound per head per day, you will receive your own personal luxury shopping budget to spend on whatever you like. What are your decisions, Candie, Eloise and Leon?

Leon: Personally, I don’t give much of a s**t if I’m up for the first public vote because I’d like to think I’d stay, so losing sixty isn’t a very big deal for me.

Candie: Well, I don’t really want to give up what I’ve already earned, that just seems ridiculous to me. I’m happy playing the game and living off a basic budget if we have to.

Eloise: Yeah, I gave up my clothes for this.

Leon looks surprised at his fellow housemates’ decisions.

Leon: Really? I’ll go with yes, then, if you two aren’t.

Big Brother: To confirm, who will be accepting Big Brother’s offer of sixty coins for a personal luxury shopping budget?

Leon: Just me.

Big Brother: Thank you, Candie, Eloise and Leon. Leon, Big Brother will ask you to provide Big Brother with seventy five of your coins via the hatch in the living room. Unless you have any further questions, you may now leave the diary room.

Eloise: Thanks.

Candie, Eloise and Leon leave the diary room.

Candie: (to Leon) Why’d you do that?

Leon: Well, I don’t want to starve just because you guys fail your tasks, do I? I’m surprised you two said no.

V/O: 12:56pm. Greg and Caitlyn are in the kitchen, working on lunch.

Caitlyn: That smells lush, that does.

Greg: Here, try some.

Caitlyn: Oh, cheers, love.

Caitlyn takes a spoon of the mixture and tastes it.

Greg: I’d blow on it first…

Caitlyn drops the spoon on the floor.

Caitlyn: Ah, s**t, that’s well hot, that is! Ah, my word, that’s hot. And you can stop laughing and all.

V/O: 1:27pm. All housemates are at the dining table.

Vivienne: That was gorgeous, thanks, Greg.

Tanvir: Hey, what was in it, again?

Greg: Erm, mostly chicken stock, a couple of vegetables, herbs, things like that. Thanks, guys. You’ll make me blush!

Tisha: Mmm. Yeah. Almost as good as Chinese.

V/O: 2:03pm. Most of the housemates have been gathered in the living area.

Laura: I don’t have a very good ******ing feeling about this!

Spencer: Shut up, there’s something on the screen…

V/O: Simon has been called to the diary room. His visit is being relayed to the house via the television screen in the living area.

Big Brother: Hello, Simon.

Simon: Afternoon, BB.

Big Brother: Simon, as you aware, throughout the week, housemates have been faced with a series of dilemmas revolving around money. Housemates have had the chance to earn coins for themselves, as well as returning some of these coins for treats. So far, Big Brother has rewarded housemates with plasma screen televisions, personal luxury shopping budgets and even a brand new car.

Simon: Blimey!

Big Brother: Later today, Big Brother will send housemates on one final hunt for coins around the house. Afterwards, Big Brother will ask housemates to count the number of coins that they have banked, the housemates with the fewest coins will be announced, and the task will finish. However, there is still one dilemma left to be answered. That dilemma is for you.

Simon: Oh lord...

Big Brother: Simon, each week, housemates will compete in tasks in order to earn their shopping for the week. If they pass this task, they will earn a luxury shopping budget. However, if they fail this task, housemates will live on a basic shopping budget. This week, the fate of the rest of the house lies on your shoulders.

Simon: Oh lord, oh lord, oh lord. What do I have to do, then? Nothing bad, I hope.

Big Brother: So far, Simon, you have banked 75 coins for agreeing to have no contact with the outside world for the duration of your stay inside the Big Brother house. Big Brother will now offer you the chance to double that figure to 150 coins. However, this will come at a cost. If you agree to double what you have banked, the house – apart from Leon - will live on a basic shopping budget for the entire week. In addition to this, Big Brother will offer you the chance to win a luxury shopping budget for the entire house – including Greg and Vivienne, who agreed to give up their right to a luxury shopping budget as part of the task, something which will come into play if they survive this week’s eviction. However, in order to do this, you must give Big Brother every single coin that you have banked up to this point. Do you understand?

Simon: I do, I do. Oh man. I did really want those coins but I want everyone to be fed well this week…

Big Brother: Simon, what is your decision?

Simon: Look, I’m going to do the right thing, I’m going to be selfless and I’m going to take the luxury shopping budget. The happiness of the whole house is worth more than those coins are.

Big Brother: Thank you, Simon. You may now leave the diary room.

Simon: Thanks, BB.

Simon leaves the diary room and is greeted by some of his fellow housemates, who have run up to the door and are hugging him.

Simon: Oh s**t, did you see it all?

Jackson: Yeah!

Laura: You did so well, Simon, oh my god.

Edwin: Well done, chap.

Simon: Hey, we get to eat!

Simon’s fellow housemates cheer. Billy, Leon, Tanvir and Spencer are still sat on the sofas.

Billy: (muttering) Alright, alright, don’t milk it…

V/O: 3:58pm. All of the housemates have been locked in the bedroom.

Tisha: I’m so ******ing bored!

Caitlyn: Hey, let’s pass the time and play a pillow fight!

Priscilla sighs, shakes her head and disappears under her duvet.

Spencer: Me first!

Spencer throws a cushion across the room, missing Tisha and hitting Nadine.

Nadine: I don’t want to play, I don’t want to play! Grow up!

Tisha picks up the cushion and throws it back to Spencer, hitting him. Tanvir, Greg, Eloise, Laura, Candie and Billy also join in.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother.

Tanvir: Oh, s**t, we’re being told off…

Big Brother: Would all housemates please gather in a straight line in the garden, facing the bedroom.

The bedroom’s shutters go up and the housemates obey Big Brother’s orders, forming a rather disorderly line in the middle of the garden.

Big Brother: Housemates. Welcome to the final part of this week’s money-themed task. As things stand, each of you has banked a different number of coins – some high, some very low. Big Brother will give you one final chance to bank coins for yourself and try to increase your chance of surviving this week’s public vote. Big Brother has hidden 100 coins in and around the Big Brother house. When Big Brother instructs you to, you must begin to search for as many coins as you can, which you must collect in one of the sacks located on the floor in front of you. A five minute countdown will appear on the screen in the living area. Once this five minutes is up, a klaxon will sound and all housemates must gather in the living area to await further instructions. Good luck housemates, and remember… winner takes all.

Tisha: Let’s do this s**t!

Vivienne: What she said!

Big Brother: Housemates. On your marks. Get set. Go!

The housemates pick up their sacks and run off in all different directions. Eloise stands in the middle of the garden, screaming.

Leon: Got one! Ha ha.

Leon finds the first coin, hidden behind a white elephant statue in the garden. In the living area, Billy finds a coin underneath the sofas, Vivienne finds one on a dining chair and Edwin finds a couple on top of the breakfast bar. Priscilla finds a few in the kitchen cupboards, whilst Simon finds one on top of the island. Tisha collects some from the bathroom wash basins, before coins are found by Tanvir and Jackson in the shower and near the door to the toilet respectively. Caitlyn then collects a handful from the toilet accessed via the living area, Nadine, Greg and Eloise find a few in the hideaway and Laura and Spencer rush to the diary room, where they also fill their sacks. Candie then looks in the vegetable garden.

Candie: (muttering to herself) I’m sure I saw a few…

Candie reaches over to feel through the growth, placing her bag down on the ground as she does so. Leon then quickly runs behind her and grabs a handful of coins from her bag, placing them into his.

Candie: Hey, Leon, I saw that! That’s not fair!

The coin hunt continues as housemates collect more coins for their sacks. Nadine, Greg and Eloise emerge from the hideaway as the klaxon sounds. Housemates then flock to the living area.

Candie: (to Jackson and Eloise ) I swear, he nicked some of my coins…

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Thank you, housemates. Big Brother has provided you with a permanent marker each, which are located in the hatch. Would one housemate please retrieve these from the hatch.

Caitlyn: I’ll do it!

Caitlyn walks over to the hatch, opens it and returns with a box filled with permanent marker pens. The housemates then take one and write their name on their respective sack.

Big Brother: Once all sacks are labelled, would all housemates please take their sack, one-by-one, into the diary room and leave it on the floor. Thank you, housemates.

Priscilla: Well, that was a waste of pissing time, wasn’t it?

V/O: 5:16pm. All housemates have been gathered in the living area.

Big Brother: Housemates. Earlier today, you all took part in Big Brother’s coin hunt, the final part of this week’s task. Big Brother now has the results of this task. Billy, please stand up.

Billy stands up, looking confused.

Big Brother: Billy, you earned no coins for your personal dilemma. You received 9 coins in the coin hunt, meaning that you have banked 9 coins in total. Caitlyn, please stand up.

The housemates clap as Caitlyn stands up.

Caitlyn: Oh god!

Big Brother: Caitlyn, you banked no coins for your personal dilemma. You received 7 coins in the coin hunt, meaning that you have banked 7 coins in total. Candie, please stand up.

The housemates clap once more as Candie apprehensively stands up.

Big Brother: Candie, you banked 75 coins for your personal dilemma. You received 2 coins in the coin hunt, meaning that you have banked 77 coins in total. Edwin, please stand up.

The process continues – Edwin has 82 coins in total, Eloise 83, Greg 9, Jackson 79, Laura 6, Leon 31, Nadine 80, Priscilla 7, Simon 5, Spencer 20, Tanvir 8, Tisha 8 and Vivienne 84.

Big Brother: However, during the coin hunt, Leon stole from Candie’s sack. This is strictly against the rules of the task, and Leon will be punished as a result. Big Brother has removed all of the coins that you have banked from your total, leaving you with no coins banked. Therefore, the housemates facing this week’s public vote are, in alphabetical order, Laura, Leon, and Simon. Housemates are now free to leave the sofas.

Nominated:


Laura: S**t…

Eloise: Oh, hun, that’s awful.

Jackson: Way to put a dampener on things, Bruv!

The housemates look downtrodden. Billy goes over to the kitchen and begins to make dinner.

Spencer: (to Billy) We survived the public vote, man, high five.

Spencer and Billy high five in celebration.

Spencer: It’s s**t about Leon, though…

V/O: 6:24pm. All housemates are eating at the dining table.

Everyone is very quiet.

Billy: Nobody like my food, then?

Nadine: …oh, no, it’s lovely, it is… I just don’t think anyone really feels in the mood for talking tonight…

Candie and Leon are sat at either ends of the table, trying not to look at one another.

Tisha: Yeah. Tastes like Chinese.

V/O: 8:04pm. Candie, Eloise, Simon, Laura, Greg, Tisha, Jackson, Caitlyn and Vivienne are all in the bedroom.

Candie: Sorry, I’m just really pissed off by Leon, he knows what he was doing. He didn’t care that it was going to get him punished, he just wanted the attention.

Vivienne: I can’t say I blame you. It was only a game after all, there was no need to take it that seriously. It was just nasty.

Candie: (to Laura and Simon) I hope to god that he goes over you two, because you don’t deserve to be up at all. You really don’t.

Simon: Aw, thanks. Look, we’ll just see what happens. That’s all we can do, really.

His fellow housemates nod in agreement.

V/O: 8:10pm. Leon and Billy are at the smoking area.

Billy: They still talking about you? I can see them looking over. ******ing obsessed twats is what they area.

Leon: Yeah, they need to get over this. Stop taking it all so seriously.

Billy nods in agreement as he lights a cigarette.

V/O: 9:41pm. Nadine, Priscilla and Edwin are mulling over the day’s events in the hideaway.

Priscilla: Today, I realised that I’m living in a house with a bunch of utter bastards. Right?

Nadine: Mmm.

Edwin: Mmm.

Priscilla sighs as she goes for a cigarette.

[Nick.]

Going off Leon, he's coming across as a bit of a knob if I'm honest, a shame Simon is facing eviction despite his sacrifice. Nadine doesn't say much does she?

[MB.]

Originally Posted by LuckyTheBadger

Going off Leon, he's coming across as a bit of a knob if I'm honest, a shame Simon is facing eviction despite his sacrifice. Nadine doesn't say much does she?

Thanks for the comments And... well, no...

[MB.]

Day 6 will be posted soon I'll catch up with a couple of shows a day from now onwards

[Marsh.]

Get Simon Out! Ginger bastard!

[MB.]

But gingers have souls too Sometimes

[MB.]

V/O: 9:28am. Housemates are waking up to another day in the Big Brother house. Edwin is showering in the garden, having lost access to the bathroom as part of this week’s task.

Edwin: Ho hum, ho hum…

Edwin, donning his shower cap, tries to figure out how to turn the shower off. He is unsuccessful.

Edwin: Blast.

V/O: Meanwhile, Laura and Tisha are in the bathroom.

Tisha: (looking in the mirror) You alright, hun? You ain’t smiling much.

Laura: Kind of, yeah. I mean, I expected to be up and s**t, but I’d kind of have preferred to have been
nominated by everyone else rather than as part of a task or something. But I’m cool with it.

Tisha continues to pluck her eyebrows in the mirror.

Tisha: Yeah… can you pass me those tweezers? Cheers.

V/O: 10:40am. All housemates are sat at the dining table, eating breakfast.

Leon: (to Eloise Good morning. You’re looking really nice. I'm liking it.

Eloise: You’re being uncharacteristically friendly this morning! I do hope you’re not flirting with me over my poached eggs.

Leon: (muttering) I was just saying… lighten up…

V/O: 12:1 4pm. Jackson, Vivienne, Caitlyn and Candie are in the living area, discussing yesterday’s nomination results.

Caitlyn: God, I feel so sorry for them all. Talk about cruel. Trying to find those coins was like trying to find a needle in one of those stacks of hay thingies. Wasn’t it?

Vivienne: Haystack?

Caitlyn: Who’s that, love?

Vivienne: Forget it.

V/O: 1:36pm. Greg has come to the diary room.

Big Brother: Hello, Greg.

Greg: Hi, Big Brother. Yeah, it’s been an odd few days, hasn’t it? I think everyone’s gradually fitting in quite well, though. Emphasis on the word ‘gradually’, there – we’ve all had our fair share of arguments!

Big Brother: What do you think the reason for the conflict has been, Greg?

Greg: Well, everyone’s been a bit on edge lately because of this twist. Nobody’s really had time to get to know each other that well, but you know, that’s beginning to change now. Fingers crossed.

Greg laughs.

V/O: 1:59pm. Eloise, Simon, Priscilla and Nadine are in the hideaway.

Simon: That wasn’t half weird earlier, wasn’t it? With Leon. The cynic in me would say that he’s trying to make up for past mistakes now that he’s up for eviction.

Priscila: It’s too bloody late for that, mate.

Eloise: No, I don’t want to go pointing the finger around everywhere, but… oh, I don’t know. We’re only six days in, we might have caught the wrong end of the stick.

Priscilla: Oh, trust me, he’s a rotten one. I’ve got experience you see.

Nadine: Mmm.

Priscilla: Anyway, I’m off for a puff. Care to join me, anyone?

Eloise: No, I don’t smoke. Go ahead, though.

Priscilla goes for a cigarette.

Simon: She’s like a chimney, that woman!

V/O: 3:18pm. The housemates have been gathered in the living area for today’s task.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Could the two most decisive housemates please come to the diary room?

Tisha: What’s that mean?

Candie: (to Tisha) Good at decisions and things like that, I think.

Billy: I’ll put myself up as a suggestion, then.

Billy stands up. Tanvir then does the same.

Tanvir: Yeah, me too.

Spencer: So who wants Billy and Tanvir? Hands up.

Spencer and Leon put their hands up, before several others eventually do so.

Spencer: Those two it is, then. Go and smash it…

Billy and Tanvir head towards the diary room. This visit is relayed to the house via the plasma screen television in the living area.

Big Brother: Hello, Billy. Hello, Tanvir.

Tanvir: Hey, what’s happening?

Big Brother: As the two most decisive housemates, you two will play the roles of Big Brother’s human lie detectors in today’s task. You will be given three statements about some of your fellow housemates – one said by them before entering the house, the other two not – and one by one, you will be able to interrogate them before making a decision on which statement was said by this housemate. If you manage to correctly match all three statements to the corresponding housemate, then you will pass the task. Do you understand?

Billy: Clear as day, man.

Big Brother: Billy, Tanvir, please leave the diary room to the door to your left, where you will find the interrogation set up. Once in the room, please take your seats behind the desk to await further instructions from Big Brother.

Tanvir gives a thumbs up to the camera.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Would Leon come to the task room, via the diary room?

Leon jumps up from the sofas and enters the task room.

Leon: Hey, again.

Billy: Please take a seat, Leon.

Leon sits down on a chair facing the desk.

Tanvir: So, looking here, your three statements are, “my favourite job was working in a fast food restaurant”, “I’m always used to having beautiful women on my arm” and “I don’t think that gay marriage is acceptable”. What do you have to say for yourself?

Leon: You know me, come on, you just have to think of the statement I’d be most likely to say. I’ve never said anything about gay marriage, and I’ve never said that I’ve worked in a fast food restaurant, have I? You know me, guys, come on.

Tanvir: And why should we believe that you said that you’re – and I quote – ‘used to having beautiful women on your arm’?

Leon: It’s the sort of light-hearted thing I’d say, isn’t it? I mean, it’s truthful, but it’s all a bit of a joke all the same.

Billy: Okay, cheers, Leon. We think we’ve heard enough.

Tanvir: Yep.

Billy: Could you call Priscilla in next? Cheers.

Leon leaves the diary room and returns to the living area.

Leon: Priscilla, you’re next.

Priscilla: Oh s**ty bollocks.

Priscilla enters the task room and sits down.

Tanvir: Welcome, Priscilla. Blimey, is that how you spell Priscilla? Oh.

Priscilla: You cheeky sod. I’ll do a Sharon Stone on you lads in a second if you’re not careful.

Tanvir looks confused.

Priscilla: Google her. Anyway, do your worst.

Billy: The three statements for you are… hang on, hang on… “I think that men are useless” – bit strong, that, “I spent three years of my life in the air force” and “I’ve never been in a relationship”. Anything to say?

Priscilla: Not really. Well, maybe. I’m sure you can tell that I’ve got strong views on things, and I’m a strong lass but I probably couldn’t fly a plane unless I was pissed, and I can’t remember the other one.

Tanvir: I haven’t seen you express many strong opinions yet, are you going to do that more in the future?

Priscilla: If I get the chance, of course I bloody will. I don’t like your top for starters, Tanvir.

Tanvir looks down at his shirt.

Tanvir: Oi.

Billy: Thanks, Priscilla. Call Jackson in when you get back.

Priscilla: (muttering) Thank bloody god…

Priscilla re-enters the main house and points to Jackson.

Priscilla: It’s you, sonny boy.

Jackson walks over to the diary room and enters the task room, waving to Billy and Tanvir.

Billy: Hey, Jackson. Take a seat.

Jackson: Will do.

Jackson sits down.

Tanvir: So, Jackson, let’s have a read of your statements. “I’m passionate about changing this country for the better”, “I’ve spent time in prison”, and “I’m a massive fan of One Direction”. Quite a mix. What do you have to say, Jackson?

Jackson: Haha! Wow, man. The last one’s questionable, and between the other two, it’s how you judge my character, you know. If you think I’m a good guy, yeah, that. If not, then go for the other one. I’m not saying nothing on that.

Billy: Why not?

Jackson: Well, it’s up to you, isn’t it? Not my task. If you think I’m the kind of guy who’d want to change stuff for the better, yeah, fine, go with that. My lips are zipped.

Billy: Okay, cheers, Jackson. You can now return to the house.

Jackson: See ya!

Jackson returns to the house and wipes his brow with a sigh.

V/O: 4:03pm. Billy and Tanvir are in the task room, reviewing what they have just been told.

Tanvir: Right… what do you think?

Billy: Priscilla was lying about something, I can feel that. Jackson might have been, too. Leon was telling the truth, I trust that guy, so we can rule him out.

Tanvir: Yeah, same. Leon seems like the kind of guy who would say that sort of thing about himself. It’s about his ego, but it’s all a bit harmless. Priscilla was really snappy with us, so I think hers is the one about not being in a relationship.

Billy: Ha, like anyone would want to tap that.

Tanvir: And Jackson, I don’t know, really. He might have been to jail, maybe. I don’t know his life. But he seems like the politician type, so I’d go for that, personally.

Billy: Yeah, okay. So are we’re going with the women story for Leon, the relationship one for Priscilla and the changing the country one for Jackson. Right?

Tanvir nods.

Billy: That’s that, then.

V/O: 4:45pm. Housemates have been gathered in the living area for the result of today’s task.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Today, Billy and Tanvir became human lie detectors, trying to work out which statement related to which housemate. Big Brother now has the results of this task.

Candie: Eeep!

Big Brother: Big Brother can reveal that Billy and Tanvir correctly matched two of the three statements to the corresponding housemates. As a result, housemates have failed today’s task and will not receive any rewards.

Edwin: Oh no…

Spencer: Hey, you did your best, lads. That’s good, eh?

Nadine: Mmm.

Housemates disperse in their separate directions, with Greg, Caitlyn and Vivienne going to the kitchen and Billy, Leon, Tanvir and Spencer going to the smoking area.

Tisha: I still want that ******ing takeaway, Bruv…

V/O: 6:26pm. All housemates are at the dining table, eating soup cooked by Vivienne.

Billy: There’s not much in this, man. I like a bit of meat with my meals.

Greg: (to Billy) Then you’ll have to wait until we do the shopping tomorrow. We’re not made of food in this house, Billy!

Billy: Right, right… (muttering) I don’t need a ******ing lecture…

Vivienne: Well, I hope everyone’s enjoying it…

V/O: Some of the housemates are in the garden.

Candie: Do you want me to dance a bit for you, Leon? You look like you need cheering up!

Encouraged by her fellow housemates, Candie dances an impromptu routine for Leon, jokingly flaunting herself at him.

Leon: (muttering) Oh, that… that’s kinda hot…

Candie: What was that, love?

Leon: Nothing.

V/O: The rest of the housemates are in the bedroom.

Simon: What on earth is Candie doing?

Priscilla: Never mind what Candie’s doing, Leon seems to have put a banana in his pocket, the filthy bugger.

Simon: Oh, no, I just think he’s eager to impress. Hence his comment to Eloise earlier. We can’t say if it was anything to do with him being up or not, though.

Priscilla: Well, I bloody can!

Nadine: (to Priscilla) I agree. There’s just something about him that puts me off him, you know?

Priscilla: Mmm.

[MB.]

Hypothetical eviction poll

[Nick.]

Leon to go.

[MB.]

Here are those all important voting numbers for this week... (and yes, Simon is holding his snake, not a euphemism)

[Cal.]

Leon to go!!

[JoshBB]

Leon needs to be evicted!!!

[MB.]

Originally Posted by LuckyTheBadger

Leon to go.

Originally Posted by Who Is She?

Leon to go!!

Originally Posted by JoshBB

Leon needs to be evicted!!!

Come on, don't sit on the fence, tell us what you really think...

[MB.]

V/O: 10:01am. Most of the housemates are awake in the bedroom.

Greg: Another day in paradise… ish.

Caitlyn yawns and pulls up her duvet.

V/O: Meanwhile, Leon and Billy are in the bathroom.

Billy: Do you think you’ve got a good chance of staying tomorrow, mate?

Leon: Mmm, yeah. I’ve not done anything wrong, so I haven’t got much of a reason for anyone to vote me out. People will like me, I’m confident about that.

Billy nods.

Billy: Yeah, man, you’re a likeable guy. Unlike some of the others in this house.

V/O: 10:52am. Some of the housemates are in the living area.

Eloise: Who’s going to do the list today, then?

Spencer: Huh?

Eloise: The shopping list.

Spencer: (shrugging) Eh, I don’t really mind.

Candie: (to Vivienne) It’s luxury for everyone besides Greg and Vivienne, isn’t it? You know, because of the task.

Vivienne: I think we’ve all got a luxury budget this week, you know. I remember them saying something about it when Simon had to do his part of the task the other day.

Caitlyn: So we’re all getting nice food! I’m hungry already, haha!

V/O: 11:38am. Edwin has come to the diary room.

Big Brother: Hello, Edwin.

Edwin: Hello. I was wondering, because I’m very doubtful that my requests will be considered when it comes to the choosing of the shopping list, that you could reserve some foie gras for me? I’d hate to be without foie gras.

Big Brother: Edwin, the list of items that can be bought using the weekly shopping budget is available in the welcome pack. Foie gras is not one of them.

Edwin: Oh, bugger. Well, I’ll have some truffles, in that case.

Edwin’s request is met with silence.

Edwin: Hello? Truffles?

V/O: 1:09pm. Laura, Eloise, Tisha and Simon are in the garden, discussing Leon.

Tisha: (to Eloise) Does Leon still wanna do rumpy pumpy with you, hun?

Eloise: Leon? No, don’t be ridiculous. I haven’t spoken him yet today, anyway. Yesterday was a one off because he knew he was up for eviction.

Simon: And I take it you don’t feel the same?

Eloise: Of course not. I mean, he’s nice and all, but it isn’t a coincidence that he’s piling on the compliments when he has a chance of going. And he was buttering up Candie yesterday, so it isn’t just me.

Tisha: What a ******ing knob.

Laura high fives Tisha.

Eloise: Well…. I guess that’s one way of putting it!

Caitlyn runs out from the living area.

Caitlyn: Lunch is on, guys! Billy’s made some chicken something or rather. Fairly lush, it looks.

V/O: 1:35pm. Having just eaten lunch, most of the housemates are in the living area.

Tanvir: So, who’s doing the shopping list? We need two to do it, right?

Jackson: (to Tanvir) Well, let Greg do it, he knows all about food and flavours and stuff. He’ll pick some good s**t.

Greg: I’m happy with that… if that’s how much you trust me, of course!

Tanvir: That’s one. Anyone else want to?

Nadine raises her hand.

Nadine: I don’t mind going.

Greg: Cool, let’s go and get the board.

Greg and Nadine go the diary room to collect the chalk board and the list of items available. They then return to the living area and begin to look through the list.

Greg: Any requests?

Billy: Hang on, I’ve got a few ideas. Let me take a seat.

Edwin: (quietly) Truffles would be nice.

Eloise: Some more soya milk would be great too, please.

Nadine, Greg and Billy thumb through the list. Leon also looks over at the list.

Priscilla: (peering over) Don’t forget the fags, will you?

Leon: We’d better not…

V/O: Twenty seven minutes later.

Greg: Right, is that all of it?

Nadine: Milk, bread, eggs, sugar, tea, coffee, salt, meat, chocolate, lots and lots of cigarettes… just about, yes. I think, anyway.

Big Brother: Thank you, Greg and Nadine. You are now free to leave the diary room.

Nadine places the chalk board on the diary room chair and she and Greg return to the house.

Eloise: Was the soya milk on there, then, guys?

Greg: (to Eloise) Well, it was on there, yeah. We definitely wrote it down.

Eloise: Thanks!

Eloise goes into the bathroom.

Leon: What’s this about?

Greg: Eloise has to drink soya milk, she can’t have anything with lactose on it. That was on the order, right?

Leon: S**t, I think I crossed that one off when we put the cigarettes on the list. Oh, well, I’m sure she can do without.

Candie: (to Leon) That’s not how it works, Leon, she can’t drink milk full stop.

Leon: That’s not my fault, though, is it?

Candie: Oh, come off it…

V/O: 2:23pm. Vivienne, Greg and Eloise are in the hideaway.

Greg: Have you heard about the milk situation, yet, Eloise?

Eloise: What do you mean?

Greg: It turns out Leon crossed the soya milk off the list – accidentally, he says.

Vivienne: That’s really crap. Sorry, Eloise.

Eloise pulls the hood of the top she is wearing up over her head and lets out a sigh.

Eloise: …oh well.

V/O: 3:29pm. Tisha, Spencer and Laura have been called to the diary room.

Laura: I hope this is some fun task or something.

Tisha: Me ******ing too!

Spencer: And me, we need a bit of fun at the moment.

Big Brother: Hello Laura. Hello, Tisha. Hello, Spencer. Big Brother has noticed that you three are some of the more mischievous housemates in this year’s bunch.

Tisha: Woo!

Big Brother: Therefore, Big Brother would like to set you a secret mission.

Laura begins to bite her nails.

Tisha: Bring it on, bitches. In a good way, you know.

Big Brother: Big Brother would like you to carry out a prank on your fellow housemates. One by one, you must bring an item belonging to each of your fellow housemates to the store room without anybody finding out that you three are responsible. You may use your best acting skills to convince your fellow housemates that you are entirely innocent. Do you understand?

Spencer: Haha, this is brilliant!

Big Brother: Big Brother will be putting on a dancing party to help you with your mission. Once one item belonging to each of your fellow housemates is in the store room, Big Brother will lock the door to this room. If you are successful in your task, then you shall be rewarded.

Tisha: Let’s do this s**t!

Laura, Tisha and Spencer leave the diary room. Laura whistles.

Jackson: Was that a task?

Spencer: Huh? Oh, nah. Nah.

V/O: 4:05pm. The dance party has begun in the house. Laura, Tisha and Spencer are discussing their tactics in the kitchen.

Tisha: (whispering) What we doing, then? I’m like, well confused.

Laura: (whispering) Well, we can go into the bedroom one by one, something like that, then take something from everyone’s beds. Yeah?

Tisha: (whispering) Yeah, okay.

Laura, Tisha and Spencer split up, with Tisha going through to the bedroom first.

Simon: (to Tisha) Where are you off to, love?

Tisha: Getting my… top. Yep.

Tisha enters the bedroom and begins rooting through her fellow housemates’ items. She finds a pair of Vivienne’s socks and Tanvir’s pants, before stuffing them up her t-shirt and returning to the house.

Priscilla: (to Tisha I thought you were getting your top?

Tisha: Yeah, probably, I can’t remember what I ******ing said.

Tisha goes into the store room and drops the items in the corner of the room. She then picks up a bottle of champagne and re-enters the house.

Tisha: Drink up!

Some of the housemates cheer to this, whilst Tisha tiptoes over to Laura and Spencer.

Tisha: Right, I got some stuff from Tanvir and Viv, so if we can all get two or three things each then we can make things easier. Yeah?
Laura and Spencer nod.

Laura: I’ll go next.

Tisha: Get my top, yeah?

Laura walks through to the bedroom.

Vivienne: (to Laura) Are you going to the bedroom, Laura? I’m changing out of these shoes, so could you get my black socks?

Laura: Will do!

Laura goes to the bedroom, picking up Tisha’s red top and putting it over her shoulder. She then rummages through some of the items beneath housemates’ beds, eventually taking a bra belonging to Caitlyn, one of Leon’s shoes and Priscilla’s stuffed toy. She holds them behind her back and returns to the house.

Vivienne: Have you got my socks, there, Laura?

Laura: Oh s**t, I forgot! Wait, I’ll go and get them in a minute.

Priscilla: (to Laura:) Are you holding something?

Laura: Yeah, I was just bringing Tisha’s top back.

Priscilla: No… behind your back…

Priscilla walks around to the back of Laura, who turns around in the opposite direction, with her back facing the wall.

Priscilla: You’ve got something, you cheeky bugger! Come on, let’s see.

Laura drops the items on the floor.

Laura: (to Spencer) They’ve rumbled us!

Edwin: What on earth have you been doing?

Priscilla: Not my replacement Percy!

The music stops as Priscilla picks up and cradles her stuffed toy.

Nadine: Poor replacement Percy.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Would Laura, Tisha and Spencer come to the diary room?

Eloise: Were you all in on this? Ha ha!

Spencer: Hey, we tried…

Caitlyn: I don’t want the whole world seeing my bloomers, you naughty people!

Laura, Tisha and Spencer go to the diary room.

Big Brother: Hello, Laura. Hello, Tisha. Hello, Spencer.

Tisha: I’m kinda worried! We passed, right?

Big Brother: Earlier today, Big Brother set you a task to pull a prank on your fellow housemates. You were to steal one item belonging to each housemate, and take these items to the store room. However, as your fellow housemates discovered your secret mission, you have failed this task.

Laura: Shucks.

Spencer: You’re the one who pissed it up, ha ha! Hey, you know… never mind. It was just a bit of fun.

Without warning, a large cake drops from the ceiling and onto the three housemates. Tisha and Laura let out loud screams.

Spencer: You ******ing bastards! This is my good shirt, as well.

Big Brother: Big Brother can play pranks too, housemates.

Tisha: I see what you did there, man. I see what you did there.

Big Brother: You are now free to leave the diary room.

The three housemates, covered in cake, leave the diary room.

Candie: Good god! What did they do?

Laura: Who wants to lick me?

Billy: (muttering) Nobody wants to ******ing lick you, Miss Piggy, don’t flatter yourself…

Leon laughs.

V/O: 7:42pm. With the housemates having eaten dinner, the party has continued in the house. Candie is teaching Caitlyn, Simon, Jackson and Laura how to do ‘locking’.

Candie: So, you move your legs here, and…

Caitlyn: This is like effing Twister!

Caitlyn sticks her leg out, loses her balance and falls over.

Caitlyn: Don’t air this!

V/O: 8:38pm. Billy, Tanvir and Leon are in the smoking area.

Tanvir: (to Leon) Could be your last night here, mate.

Leon: It won’t be.

Tanvir: I know, yeah, but it could. That’s a weird feeling.

Billy: Didn’t you hear him? He won’t go, man. Guys will like him cause they can relate to him, girls will find him attractive and want to jump his bones, he’ll be loved by everyone. Surely?

Leon: I ******ing hope so.

Leon lights another cigarette.

Leon: (to Tanvir) Want one?

Tanvir: Nah, I shouldn’t. I’ll get out of shape. Oh, ****** it, it could be your last night, I’ll take one.

Leon: Here you go, pal. And like I said… it won’t be. I know these things.

Leon taps his nose.

[Nick.]

Percy to win! Loved the secret task! Cake droppings <3

[MB.]

Originally Posted by LuckyTheBadger

Percy to win! Loved the secret task! Cake droppings <3

Thanks

[MB.]

The first eviction show will be posted today

[MB.]

Emma walks through the crowd and up to her presenting podium.

Emma: Three housemates have become bankrupt, and tonight, one of them will be getting their eviction notice.

The crowd cheer as the Big Brother: Winner Takes All titles roll.

Youtube video

Emma: Yes, hello, and welcome to the first live eviction of Big Brother 2015! Hasn’t this week been busy? In just seven days, we’ve seen bitching, backstabbing, banking and… well, Battenberg. Tonight, you’ll get the chance to chuck one of those housemates out on their golden bottoms faster than you can say Edwin Dugray Larson. Laura, Leon, or Spencer. Who goes? You decide!

Emma walks halfway up the stairs.

Emma: So, who wants some house action? If so, you’re in luck. Let’s see what went on in Britain’s most famous bungalow…

V/O: 10:24am. Billy is in the kitchen, cooking breakfast, with the assistance of Spencer.

Spencer: (to Billy) You getting nervous about the eviction?

Billy: Nah, man, why would I be? Leon will be fine, there’s no reason to get worried at all. You just watch.

Spencer: Oh, okay. That is reasonable, yeah.

V/O: 11:12am. Jackson, Candie and Vivienne are discussing the upcoming eviction in the garden.

Candie: Who are you two hoping will go, then?

Vivienne: Deep down? Leon, purely because he seems to be causing a bit of a divide between his ‘gang’ so to speak, and the rest of us. I’m sure he’s a lovely guy-

Jackson: Eh, maybe.

Vivienne: –I’m sure he’s a lovely guy, but he could try a lot harder to try and come across that way, definitely.

Jackson: I just hope it isn’t Laura or Simon, you know, they’re actually nice guys. It’d be s**t to lose them.

Candie nods.

Vivienne: Not long to wait now, whatever happens.

Laura walks in from the bathroom.

Laura: I heard my name!

Candie: Oh, it was nothing bad, hun. We were just saying how we all hope you stay this week. Simon, too.

Laura: Cool, cool. Thanks, guys, that means a hell of a lot. Anyway, sorry, I’m just a bit stressed, I need a fag.

Laura walks over to the smoking area, where Tisha is.

Tisha: One of them days, huh?

V/O: 1:15pm. The housemates have been gathered in the living area for today’s task.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Would the two most rhythmic housemates please come to the diary room?

Caitlyn: Ha ha, well, count me bloody out!

Candie: I’ll go, yeah?

The other housemates seem to agree with this decision.

Simon: The problem is, none of the rest of us have a single ounce of rhythm in our bodies! You’ll have to go it alone, Candie!

Tisha: I can shake my ass a bit from time to time.

Greg: Candie and Tisha, then?

Edwin: Well, as long as it’s not bloody me.

Tanvir: Or me and all!

Candie and Tisha go to the diary room. Their visit is displayed on the plasma screen television in the living area.

Eloise: Oh, look, they’re on the screen!

Nadine: (muttering) I should have known it’d be a task…

Big Brother: Hello, Candie. Hello, Tisha. You two have judged yourselves the two most rhythmic, and therefore, you will lead two rival teams in Big Brother’s all new acrobatics championships. You must now decide which of your fellow housemates you would like to join you on your teams, choosing one-by-one. To your left is a box, with three straws in for you to choose from. Candie, please select a straw.

Candie picks a straw from the box with a gulp.

Big Brother: Tisha, please select a other straw.

Tisha: Sure thing, bruv.

Tisha picks a straw from the box, and she holds hers up against Candie’s.

Tisha: S**t yes!

Big Brother: Tisha, as your straw is longer than Candie’s, you may choose a team member first. Who would you like to join your team?

Tisha: Laura!

From the living room, Laura blows kisses at the screen.

Big Brother: Candie. Who would you like to join your team?

Candie: Erm… I’ll take Eloise, please. He he, that rhymes.

The choosing continues, with Tisha picking Jackson, Tanvir, Greg, Caitlyn, Spencer and Billy, and Candie picking Vivienne, Simon, Nadine, Priscilla, Edwin and Leon respectively.

Spencer: This is going to be horrific!

V/O: 1:53pm. Team Candie are in the task room, rehearsing for their acrobatics performance. In order to pull off their performances, the teams have been supplied with ribbons and hula hoops as props.

Candie: Right, so Leon, Priscilla, Vivienne, you seem best with the hoops so I’ll do that alongside you, Eloise, Nadine, Edwin, Simon, you can take the ribbons, is that all right?

Simon: Am I really that camp? Ha ha.

Edwin: I’d consider myself rather butch, actually.

The team also try their costumes on for the upcoming performance.

Priscilla: Do we really have to wear these bloody minging leotards? It’s far too tight and my fanny’s chafing already.

Nadine: I can’t get mine on…

V/O: Meanwhile, Team Tisha are rehearsing their routine in the second task room.

Tisha: (trying to hold a hula hoop) What do you do with this?

Greg: Put it around your waist and spin. That’s it, you’re doing it.

Billy, Tanvir and Spencer are stood against the wall of the room, looking bored.

Billy: (muttering) How long’s this going on for?

Tanvir: (to Billy) Calm down, it’ll be over soon.

Billy: And I’ll ******ing make sure of it.

Tisha hands out the props to her team mates – she, Laura, Jackson and Greg are given hula hoops, whilst Caitlyn, Spencer, Tanvir and Billy receive ribbons.

Caitlyn: Mine looks like candy floss!

Spencer: Is this for real? Are we meant to be twirling some crappy piece of string around all day?

Tisha: …and here’s your costume, mate.

Tisha hands everyone their leotards.

Spencer: Seriously?!

Team Tisha get to work on their routine, although this comes to a halt when Laura accidentally breaks her prop.

Billy: Told you.

V/O: 3:33pm. Big Brother has gathered housemates in the garden for their performances.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Housemates, welcome to Big Brother’s acrobatics championships! Today, you will compete in your teams to be crowned the first ever acrobatics champions. The results will be decided by an esteemed panel of acrobatics, gymnastics and dance experts, who will mark your performances out of ten. The team with the highest total will win the task. Would Team Candie please take to the performance area?

Team Candie stand up, high five one another and walk to the middle of the garden. Their music – “Ghost” by Ella Henderson – starts and they begin their routine.

Youtube video

It mostly goes well, although Leon seems somewhat stationary throughout and Simon messes up a lift. Some of the other team clap, whilst others do it somewhat more half-heartedly.

Billy: (muttering to his team) We’ve got this, easy.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Would Team Tisha please take to the performance area?

Tisha: Let’s rock the s**t out of this!

Team Tisha walk to the middle of the garden. Their music – “This is How We Do” by Katy Perry – starts and they begin their routine.

Youtube video

Spencer and Billy forget their choreography, whilst Priscilla stops mid-routine to adjust her crotch area. Laura also has some difficulties with her hula hoop. The other team clap and Team Tisha take a seat on the benches.

V/O: 4:07pm. The housemates have been gathered in the living area for the results of today’s task.

Big Brother: This is Big Brother. Housemates, earlier today, you competed in Big Brother’s acrobatics championships. The panel have marked your performances, and the results are in.

Caitlyn: I’m nervous!

Jackson: You got that right.

Big Brother: Big Brother can reveal that the winners of today’s task, are…

Some housemates hold hands.

Big Brother: Team Candie. Congratulations, Team Candie. You will be rewarded with a banquet later this evening.

Candie: Aw, well done, team! We did it!

Priscilla: What a bloody fix. I mean, well done, love.

Billy and Spencer walk off.

Billy: (to Spencer) Well, that a waste of all of our time…

V/O: 5:51pm. Team Candie are enjoying the banquet that they won as part of today’s task, although thoughts have turned to the coming eviction.

Eloise: Look, we’ve all been through quite a lot and we’re only a few days in, but let’s just let bygones be bygones for now and just be a little harmonious for the eviction. We don’t know who’ll go, but it’ll be a shame to lose any of you and I’d just like to take this opportunity to raise a toast to you two and Laura. Good luck.

Eloise stands up and raises her glass. Others do the same.

Vivienne: Well said, Eloise. Well said.

Edwin: Yes. Bravo, and… so and so forth.

Team Candie tuck into their meal, whilst the other housemates look in from the garden.

Laura: (to Tisha) Do you think they’re talking about us?

Tisha: Yeah, probably. Well, it’s the eviction soon, so it’s going to be natural to talk about you and the others. You know. I wanted you all to stay, I don’t really want anyone to leave yet. And s**t like that.

The Team Tisha housemates continue to look in at the other housemates, who are enjoying the banquet and singing to music. The highlights fade out.

The camera cuts back to Emma, who is stood on her presenting podium.

Emma: So, since Tuesday, you’ve been voting in your thousands, and the results are now in. It’s time to talk to the house.

Emma crosses live to the house, where all housemates are sat in the living area. Laura receives a mixed reaction, Leon receives boos and a chant of ‘get Leon out’, and Simon receives mostly cheers.

Emma: Big Brother house, this is Emma. You are live to the nation, and they have decided your fates. Laura, Leon and Simon, for the past four days the Great British public have been voting to evict. The lines are closed, the votes have been counted and verified and I can now reveal that the first person to be evicted from the Big Brother house, is...

Some of the housemates hold hands.

Emma: LEON.



Cheers from the crowd are mixed with some shouts of ‘what?!’ from Billy and Spencer, whilst others offer consoling smiles and goodbye hugs.

Emma: Leon, you have lost your place in the Big Brother house, and you have thirty seconds to say your goodbyes.

Leon shrugs, pats Billy, Spencer and Tanvir on the back and paces towards the door.

Leon: In a while!

Leon walks through the doors and up the stairs, smartening up his black jacket in the mirror before he leaves. The main doors then open to a booing crowd. He walks down the stairs and his eviction music – “Mr Brightside” by The Killers – is played.

Youtube video

Leon salutes to the crowd and tugs on his jacket as he poses for the cameras.

Emma: So, our slick Russian Romeo has been banished from Borehamwood with 68.7% of the vote, but why is it that his Big Brother story ended in tragedy? Find out in five!

The show goes to an advert break. After this break, Emma is sat in the studio, accompanied by Leon.

Emma: Welcome back to Big Brother, and to your first evictee, Leon!

The crowd inside the studio gives Leon a mixed reception.

Emma: So, erm… quite the reception out there tonight, I think it’s fair to say. Why do you think that was?

Leon: I speak my mind, definitely. So it may have been that. I don’t know.

Emma: And you did say that you didn’t expect to be here tonight, so how shocked are you to be sitting with me over your fellow two nominees?

Leon: Well, I did say that originally, but as the week went on I began to realise that my actions could be misinterpreted. I was just having a bit of fun, but everyone else was dull, weren’t they? Apart from Billy, and Spencer, and maybe Tanvir, though. In a way, I’m glad to be out and away from everyone else.

Emma: This is usually the point where I’d ask you to guess who nominated you, but as there were no nominations this week, I can’t do that! Anyway, you did collect a fair amount of coins, but they were taken away since you took them from Candie. Why did you do this?

Leon: Partly because it’s a game in there, and partly because it was so dull in there that it needed some fun, it needed some shaking up. Big Brother didn’t see it that way, obviously, but oh well.

Emma: We have to address the fact that you’re the first man to be evicted first in the civilian series, since before this, it’s always been women. Do you have any regrets about this?

Leon: None at all. If people couldn’t handle Leon Ivanov in that house, then that’s their fault and not mine.

Emma: Well, thanks, Leon. You’ve been an entertaining housemate in this short time, it’s got to be said! Here are your best bits.

Leon’s best bits – including clips of him accepting the offer of nominating in front of his fellow housemates for coins, burning the chicken, taking Candie’s coins in the coin hunt, being apparently seduced by Candie and taking part in the lie detector and acrobatics tasks – are aired as Emma walks back to her outside podium.

Emma: So, that’s it for tonight’s show! Leon’s out, but who will join him? Join Iain and Emma next on Late Edition, where Leon will be joined by Deana Uppal, Terry Christian and Patrick Strudwick, and then join Rylan on Monday with the Sister Show. I’ll be back here next Friday for the second live eviction, so until then, na-night!

A snippet of live feed is then shown, showing some of the housemates pouring drinks for themselves, whilst Billy is in mourning in the smoking area.

[MB.]

[Nick.]

Adios Leon! I really liked the acrobatic shopping task, I like shopping tasks that involve skills rather than ones caused to create tension. Thrilled again that Simon & Laura are saved! Nice table work as well. Will we be getting some more newspaper reports soon?

[MB.]

Originally Posted by LuckyTheBadger

Adios Leon! I really liked the acrobatic shopping task, I like shopping tasks that involve skills rather than ones caused to create tension. Thrilled again that Simon & Laura are saved! Nice table work as well. Will we be getting some more newspaper reports soon?

Thank you And very possibly...

[MB.]

Sunday papers: