[kirklancaster]

CAPTAIN KIRK'S LOG - TIBB DATE 765,987.1

In the Year 18,980 B.T. (Before The Great Prophet TIBB) Our crew were assigned to InterStellar Investigatory Ship (ISIS) 6546. Our mission? To cruise the entire cosmos in search of intelligent life forms.

The first planet with signs of organic life which we encountered was one which we had classified as 3354 in the Sector 347 - a Solar System near the Andromeda Galaxy.

The creatures were organic but very primitive. and probably the weirdest life forms we had ever encountered. They were elusive and very difficult to capture, but we eventually caught one specimen and beamed it up into our laboratory.

This strange alien was less than 1.5 meters tall and was at first, extremely ferocious, then suddenly timid, as if it was in awe of us. It had heavily wrinkled, leathery brown skin and two deep set obsidian eyes beneath thick long red eyebrows and a shock of thick red hair. The creature had one arm on one side of its slender body and what can only be described as a rudimentary winding handle fashioned from some type of metal on the other side of its body.

The creature seemed to have male genitalia though it was really tiny and obscured by a weird type of pouch hanging from a belt around its waist.

The strangest feature though was its three huge lobed ears - one on the left side, one on the right side, and a FINAL FRONT EAR.

Then the creature looked directly at me and I said; "I am Kirk of the TIBB Federation. Who are you?" The creature spoke - in low guttural, quite aggressive tones which our green hulk of a Cyborg R. E-STAR (ARISTA - geddit?) translated:

"Him Leather Trumpet of Planet Earth. Yes. He Think You Are A God."

I replied "No, I am Kirk a Tibbian." But the creature persisted and R.E STAR translated: "Yes. He Is Sure. Kirk Is His God But No God Only Dawkins".

I raised my hand to halt the laughter from the crew and continued to communicate with our little friend, and it transpired that he came from a land on this planet called 'SCORT' - or as R.E. STAR said; "SCORTLAND". It was revealed that the alien only needed one arm because despite his superficial ferocity, he was half harmless, and that the strange metallic device on the other side of his body was, indeed an ancient winding crank, because Leather Trumpet was a cranky old 'winder upper' - apparently, he was famous among his people for this.

R.E. STAR also questioned him about the strange pouch covering his genitalia and it seemed that Leather Trumpet was some kind of Micro Biologist, because, he apparently used to keep some kind of Spore captive in the pouch but it must have escaped and fled at speed, because R.E. STAR said that the alien kept pointing to his pouch and saying; "MY SPORE RAN."

The strange little alien who had seemed so unfriendly at first soon endeared himself to us as we became used to his ways, and we studied him for over one Tibb Lunar Cycle, then it was time for us to let him go and return to our own world. We asked him where he wanted dropping off and I don't think he understood despite R.E. STAR's best efforts, and we ended up asking him where he would usually be right now if we had not captured him, but he kept referring to being trapped in boggy land - or as R.E. STAR probably misinterpreted it; "Stuck into MARSH".

Anyway, I parted company with the strange little primitive alien but not before patting his head and promising him that one day I would return and take him to my world - if he was good. As we blasted off I was sure that we'd never forget him.

CAPTAIN KIRK'S LOG: SUPPLEMENTAL - TIBB DATE 825,764.5

ISIS 5410 recently returned from 3354 in the Sector 347 of the Andromeda Galaxy - the strange world we visited all those years ago, and the Captain reports that the little alien Leather Trumpet is now the leader and Holy Prophet of the planet's main religion; KIRKISM, which worships a God who came down from the heavens in a fiery metal CABER and promised one day to return.

The sad part is that the prophet Leather Trumpet is carrying out mass slaughter of all those on his world who refuse to convert to Kirkism.
...............................................

Naw TIBBERS - This is just me, Kirk having a larf - don't worry, nothing like this could ever happen here..........................Could it?

[Ramsay]

Thought this was going to be about Zeitgeist

[JoshBB]

CONFIRMED (kirlancanster 20:15)

[Mokka]

I was going to be like... oh no... you are not sucking me into another religion thread...

then I was like

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Mokkajava

I was going to be like... oh no... you are not sucking me into another religion thread...

then I was like

Don't laugh please Mokka - This is all true.

[Kyle]

1 Kirk

1:13 and low Kirk looked at the ground around him and saw that it was good 14 and he said that he who hath created a thread about religion be damned surely by those that moddeth the forum above 15 and he spoke unto his apostle trumpet who by now had been twisted by sodomy and said 16 why hath you disappointed the mods above? You have disobeyed the great laws set by the almighty and hath incited great hatred in the land of serious debates 17 and he replied I hath no link to the divine I am a renegade and the laws of the great mods apply to me not for I am but man and man is free to transgress as he wish 18 and just then from the sky a great ban hammer fell and cleaved trumpet in twain to the point Kirk fell to the floor and clasped his loins in great grief

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Kyle

1 Kirk

1:13 and low Kirk looked at the ground around him and saw that it was good 14 and he said that he who hath created a thread about religion be damned surely by those that moddeth the forum above 15 and he spoke unto his apostle trumpet who by now had been twisted by sodomy and said 16 why hath you disappointed the mods above? You have disobeyed the great laws set by the almighty and hath incited great hatred in the land of serious debates 17 and he replied I hath no link to the divine I am a renegade and the laws of the great mods apply to me not for I am but man and man is free to transgress as he wish 18 and just then from the sky a great ban hammer fell and cleaved trumpet in twain to the point Kirk fell to the floor and clasped his loins in great grief

I believe it!!!! Every word.

[Kyle]

2 Truth 2:35

By now truth had wandered the lands and was weary so he rested upon the rock of serious debates 36 where he fell about himself when he discovered a thread had been created by the liberal sodomites of greater Tibb upon which the transgressions of man had been discussed 37 and low he reached to the sky and bellowed 'why hath the mods allowed such transgression in the holy land with such a blatant disregard for those of us who hath the great trouser snake within our loins' 38 and it came to pass that he spent the whole night among the people of greater Tibb attempting to right them of their wrongs and to avert the persecution of the male kind by those who bleed from their crotch 39 but what came to pass angered the mods who had seen fit to sow the seeds of doubt within the minds of greater Tibb and thus it came to be that truth was chased from the land by Dezzorah of The burning Kate Bush 40 and thus in the two weeks of his exile truth wandered the lands of plenty of fish looking for women so that he may know them and correct him of his erroneous ways.

[Kyle]

Spend 20 minutes of my life making that bollocks and he's bloody gone. You're damn lucky I have no life Kirk

[Mokka]

oh but Kyle I am reading and almost ready to convert.... keep it coming!!!!!

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Kyle

2 Truth 2:35

By now truth had wandered the lands and was weary so he rested upon the rock of serious debates 36 where he fell about himself when he discovered a thread had been created by the liberal sodomites of greater Tibb upon which the transgressions of man had been discussed 37 and low he reached to the sky and bellowed 'why hath the mods allowed such transgression in the holy land with such a blatant disregard for those of us who hath the great trouser snake within our loins' 38 and it came to pass that he spent the whole night among the people of greater Tibb attempting to right them of their wrongs and to avert the persecution of the male kind by those who bleed from their crotch 39 but what came to pass angered the mods who had seen fit to sow the seeds of doubt within the minds of greater Tibb and thus it came to be that truth was chased from the land by Dezzorah of The burning Kate Bush 40 and thus in the two weeks of his exile truth wandered the lands of plenty of fish looking for women so that he may know them and correct him of his erroneous ways.

I'm back --

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Mokkajava

oh but Kyle I am reading and almost ready to convert.... keep it coming!!!!!

Who do you think I am Joseph Smith? Takes time to translate these golden Tibblets

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Kyle

Who do you think I am Joseph Smith? Takes time to translate these golden Tibblets

Oh I would never mistake you for the superior Joseph Smith

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Kyle

Who do you think I am Joseph Smith? Takes time to translate these golden Tibblets

I know you're MOR MAN than woman

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Mokkajava

Oh I would never mistake you for the superior Joseph Smith

That man is a fraudster and a false prophet. You prostrate yourself before the almighty admin and their prophets and your profile may go to Tibb heaven when the forum eventually doesn't get renewed!!

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

I know you're MOR MAN than woman

we have a job on Kirk, these people need the New New Tibbstament or their profiles shall surely be damned

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Kyle

That man is a fraudster and a false prophet. You prostrate yourself before the almighty admin and their prophets and your profile may go to Tibb heaven when the forum eventually doesn't get renewed!!



we have a job on Kirk, these people need the New New Tibbstament or their profiles shall surely be damned

Yes brother Kyle - tomorrow we will surely reveal more TIBB testimony.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Kyle

Takes time to translate these golden Tibblets

Genuinely lol'd.

[Marsh.]