[Absorption]

I think we all agree after three days of footage and the compelling arguments made by that most reasoned of debators Ms Vanessa Feltz that Danny is unquestionably the most deserving winner BB could ever have (including past series).

It's not been widely reported (if at all) that just prior to entering the house, Danny saw off an attempted terrorist attack on the entire UK (including Scotland, SNP fans!). He used his unthreatening charm to defeat those nasty people and, after making them see the error of their ways and promising to renounce evil for ever, he went to the local corner shop and bought them all lollipops OUT OF HIS OWN MONEY!

After that, worried that confectionary can cause tooth decay, he signed them up to private dental care plans just to be on the safe side. Who funded this? Well, you don't need me to tell you but...yes, Danny!

Then, he realised that maybe not all dentists are equal in their application of treatment, so he visited EVERY dental practice in the country and wrote a report (admittedly with a few spelling errors and not a huge number of words) which will form the basis of a new government commission into dentistry.

This is just a FRACTION of the good deeds Danny performs each day. He doesn't ask for thanks, nor does he expect them. He merely carries on with his every day tasks, going to a club and protecting some vulnerable girls. He does this by buying them drinks (HE PAYS!) and then having sex with them. For THEIR pleasure, not his!!

I am humbled just to know he is on my television each night.