Brilliant one Hog - You've inspired me again:
GEMMA KWEEN
Some people are born to serve, Gemma said,
And others are born to be served.
I may not be lean, but I'm mean and a Queen
So this privileged life I deserve.
She sat on her boyfriends face then got off,
He said: "Gemma you're just so kind.
It's pure relief 'cos I couldn't breathe
And it's such a huge weight off my mind".
She sees a new diet and says "Yes, I'll try it"
But soon quits and whinges and moans,
Then goes off in a flounce cos she's not lost an ounce
While her 'gift' shoes have lost several stones.
"Where in Essex you from"? a reporter once asked.
And Gemma replied amid smiles,
"Brentwood" she said, "is where I lay my head-
- on a bed measuring 2 x 5 miles".
When asked if she'd had Plastic Surgery?
Gemma said, "Yeah. I'll hold up my hand"
"they rebuilt all that" as she indicated her twat,
"And the scaffolding alone cost £10 grand".
And she said to her new sex partner
"My new plastic fanny is the prize.
It's all here for free, come and give it to me,
If you can manage to part my fat thighs".
"All those who say I'm two faced" She said
"Are just taking the fecking piss".
It's just a disgrace, cos if I had another face,
Do you think I'd fecking wear this?
"People are cruel" she said, her fat face turning red,
They really make me sick".
"I'll tell you my dear, I wouldn't even be here,
If I hadn't built my house out of brick.
Curse that damn wolf giving up on Gemma's
He should have just used his head
And instead of just huffing and puffing,
He should have hired a bulldozer instead.
................. AND HERE's A QUICKIE FOR YOU HOG MY MATE .....................
Gemma Collins walked down the railway track
To stretch her massive fat legs
An electric train ran her over
That's the bacon but now we need eggs.
Angie Bowie,
essex's shame
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