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Ammi · 24-01-2016, 04:24 AM

...getting on my high horse a little bit here..

..

...

lostalex · 24-01-2016, 05:34 AM

well considering marriage used to just be about women being straight mens property, it makes sense that there are more divorces. Now that women don't have to put up with the abuse and slavery that marriage used to mean, it's no wonder.

unfortunately some cultures still treat women like slaves when they are married, mostly gypsies and muslims and ultra religious people. Their marriages only last because the women are too scared to leave.

smudgie · 24-01-2016, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi

...hmmmm, no I don't get that it has lost it's meaning...my marriage/my children are my entire meaning in life so it hasn't lost it's meaning to me...Vicky has said that she's getting married soon, she doesn't have to get married, she has a great guy/two beautiful children..getting married isn't something that she has to do but it's something that she and her partner want to do, they want to do it because it has meaning to them..?..Anniek, another member, has recently got married, she has a beautiful son, a great partner etc...nothing could add to that/change it..?..but they married because doing so had great meaning, Lee, another member etc got married a few years ago...marriage has great meaning, as much as it has ever done to the people that it has great meaning to...actually, I think that it has more meaning now than it ever has just because we're in a time when people don't have to be married, there isn't the same stigma to not being married but being with someone and having children etc...my son and his partner, they also 'have it all' really..they have everything without 'that certificate', it won't bring them anything that they haven't got but they want to be married because it isn't just a certificate/a piece of paper to them...because it has meaning to them...my parents were married for many years because it had meaning...homosexuality only a short while ago really, was illegal ...but now homosexual marriage is legal, it's been fought to be legal/struggled for and prejudiced against etc to be legal...why would that be, why would that piece of paper be so important if didn't have meaning...

...we live in times unlike 'back in the day' when marriage isn't necessary to relationships, to an 'acceptance in society' and that's a great thing but it doesn't take away from the meaningfulness of it for those who it has meaning to....not all marriages last, not all relationships last, there are no forever guarantees and never were or never can be but in a way, I think it's more meaningful now because we have so many choices, because society doesn't judge so much and there is more support..(I know it's not what it should be/the support..)...but people don't have to feel so much that they have to stay in abusive marriages etc, and I think that was something that happened in many cases 'back in the day'...or have to stay 'for the sake of the children' etc....

..so yeah, I think the meaning of marriage is very much there...

Beautifully said Ammi.

Kizzy · 24-01-2016, 09:47 AM

I'd say marriage has gone full circle, commitment via certificate went out of favour for a while but now it's back, not sure how much is social pressure, tax and legal benefits mind.
As a romantic I would hope it wasn't a factor, but modern marriage kind of is.
Even if you are the most committed couple ever people change, if you grow together then great...if you grow apart then that might be a cause for a breakdown.
Being married gives both parties a reason to reconcile as divorce is a massive emotional/financial step.

kirklancaster · 24-01-2016, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi

...hmmmm, no I don't get that it has lost it's meaning...my marriage/my children are my entire meaning in life so it hasn't lost it's meaning to me...Vicky has said that she's getting married soon, she doesn't have to get married, she has a great guy/two beautiful children..getting married isn't something that she has to do but it's something that she and her partner want to do, they want to do it because it has meaning to them..?..Anniek, another member, has recently got married, she has a beautiful son, a great partner etc...nothing could add to that/change it..?..but they married because doing so had great meaning, Lee, another member etc got married a few years ago...marriage has great meaning, as much as it has ever done to the people that it has great meaning to...actually, I think that it has more meaning now than it ever has just because we're in a time when people don't have to be married, there isn't the same stigma to not being married but being with someone and having children etc...my son and his partner, they also 'have it all' really..they have everything without 'that certificate', it won't bring them anything that they haven't got but they want to be married because it isn't just a certificate/a piece of paper to them...because it has meaning to them...my parents were married for many years because it had meaning...homosexuality only a short while ago really, was illegal ...but now homosexual marriage is legal, it's been fought to be legal/struggled for and prejudiced against etc to be legal...why would that be, why would that piece of paper be so important if didn't have meaning...

...we live in times unlike 'back in the day' when marriage isn't necessary to relationships, to an 'acceptance in society' and that's a great thing but it doesn't take away from the meaningfulness of it for those who it has meaning to....not all marriages last, not all relationships last, there are no forever guarantees and never were or never can be but in a way, I think it's more meaningful now because we have so many choices, because society doesn't judge so much and there is more support..(I know it's not what it should be/the support..)...but people don't have to feel so much that they have to stay in abusive marriages etc, and I think that was something that happened in many cases 'back in the day'...or have to stay 'for the sake of the children' etc....

..so yeah, I think the meaning of marriage is very much there...

Yet another brilliant post Ammi.

rubymoo · 25-01-2016, 10:30 AM

I was with my husband for 11 years before i got married to him, this sounds daft but when the children came along i didn't want a different name to them, so it was a case of i want the same name as my girls we're getting married

(there was no down on one knee!)

We're now coming up to our 13th wedding anniversary, and in those 13 years it's been a mixture of good times and bad, there have been times when i could've easily walked away, but i didn't. Marriage requires commitment and common goals, it also requires sacrifice and selflessness on both parts, and on my journey it's required acceptance of who you and your partner are, as you aren't the same people from when you first met. All i know is that my husband has seen me at my best and my worst as i have him and yet we're still together, he has eyes only for me as i have him that's why we're still together, we enjoy time doing our own thing, yet also stuff together (this is important as when you truly start to neglect time together the marriage will suffer, this has happened, i identified it and we sorted it out

) Through the times that were difficult to the pointing of breaking us we came through it stronger, and i must admit we've become closer again as the girls have gotten older, it's natural for a woman to be absorbed with her children when they're little, everything suffers as a result some men may stray but my hubby didn't he stayed right with me, by my side.

And the time i didn't have for my husband when the girls were little i am getting back with him now, he never gave up on our marriage, and neither did i, so many give up when the going gets tough, if i did that we'd have split so many times, i can say that my husband is my best friend, my lover, my rock and i'm truly thankful that we never gave up

Niamh. · 25-01-2016, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed

Congrats Vicky, how exciting

Marriage doesn't suit everyone and not everyone's love lasts forever. I'm happily married so I'm certainly not going to agree with someone like Adam.

This.

arista · 25-01-2016, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Depends on the people I guess.

Church?

Niamh. · 25-01-2016, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arista

Church?

eh?

Alf · 25-01-2016, 03:43 PM

This I tell you Brother, you can't have one without the other.

Toy Soldier · 25-01-2016, 03:58 PM

Bleeeuuurrrgh who would want to get married?

Niamh. · 25-01-2016, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Bleeeuuurrrgh who would want to get married?

Mrs Soldier is going to kick your ass

arista · 25-01-2016, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

eh?

In Your Nation the Church Rules

So I wonder if you mean Church people

There Is No God , of course

arista · 25-01-2016, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Bleeeuuurrrgh who would want to get married?

Local Church
Demand you to do that

Utter Fact

Niamh. · 25-01-2016, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arista

In Your Nation the Church Rules

So I wonder if you mean Church people

There Is No God , of course

The Church doesn't rule in my nation anymore Arista and no I wasn't referring to church people. I'm married and not in the slightest bit religious, I don't see marriage as a religious thing

Ross. · 25-01-2016, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Mrs Soldier is going to kick your ass

LeatherTrumpet · 25-01-2016, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Will.

Latest statistics (published December 2012) estimate that 42% of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce. It is also estimated that: 34% of marriages are expected to end in divorce by the 20th wedding.

Divorce has decreased over the years.

arista · 25-01-2016, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

The Church doesn't rule in my nation anymore Arista and no I wasn't referring to church people. I'm married and not in the slightest bit religious, I don't see marriage as a religious thing

Thats Very Nice To Hear
Fine lady

Please Excuse My Attack

Marsh. · 25-01-2016, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I don't think most people need a piece of paper to show how much they love each other anymore

And I say that as someone who is getting married in 2 months

I take it my invite is in the post.