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Old 12-05-2016, 06:59 PM #1
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Default My first short film

Feedback comments on YouTube would be grateful.

(Try to be positive though as this is my final edit )
Last edited by Will.; 12-05-2016 at 06:59 PM.
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Old 12-05-2016, 07:02 PM #2
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Ok, just started and already I notice the obvious part where she starts the car at the beginning, instead of it looking like she's been driving and is pulling up at home.
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Old 12-05-2016, 07:05 PM #3
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welp at the is she dead text
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Old 12-05-2016, 07:06 PM #4
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Not them ruining the grand plan by texting a confession.
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Old 12-05-2016, 07:14 PM #5
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Not them ruining the grand plan by texting a confession.
I did it with actual speaking at first.
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Old 12-05-2016, 10:52 PM #6
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Great work Will!

An improvement on the first edit, this version feels much more eerie!
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Old 13-05-2016, 12:53 AM #7
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Great Job Will!!!
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Old 13-05-2016, 06:39 AM #8
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I liked it Will..some good camera work there...minor thing when she read the text you could see it was from Mum rather than twin..I liked the ending and change of clothes
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Old 13-05-2016, 07:05 AM #9
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I actually thought t was really well edited and put together. Well done Will. Only minor thing is like Marsh said you can tell the car is being started rather than being parked at the beginning.
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Old 13-05-2016, 01:05 PM #10
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I liked it Will..some good camera work there...minor thing when she read the text you could see it was from Mum rather than twin..I liked the ending and change of clothes
It was supposed to be from mum. The other twin was dead silly.
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Old 13-05-2016, 01:18 PM #11
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Great Job Will!!!
Thanks

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Originally Posted by Cherie View Post
I liked it Will..some good camera work there...minor thing when she read the text you could see it was from Mum rather than twin..I liked the ending and change of clothes
Thank you!

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I actually thought t was really well edited and put together. Well done Will. Only minor thing is like Marsh said you can tell the car is being started rather than being parked at the beginning.
Thank you
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Old 13-05-2016, 01:30 PM #12
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The woman in the film is a TiBB member
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Old 13-05-2016, 01:33 PM #13
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The woman in the film is a TiBB member
Who is she?
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Old 13-05-2016, 01:33 PM #14
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I don't mean Cal i'm asking which member it is
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Old 13-05-2016, 01:33 PM #15
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Who is she?
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Old 13-05-2016, 02:23 PM #16
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The woman in the film is a TiBB member
Not Josy! Ha breakthrough performance?
Last edited by Babayaro.; 13-05-2016 at 02:23 PM.
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Old 13-05-2016, 02:27 PM #17
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Not Josy! Ha breakthrough performance?
Next stop EastEnders? Then X-Men?
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Old 13-05-2016, 03:40 PM #18
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Not Josy! Ha breakthrough performance?

No Josy is Not that old
you punk
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Old 13-05-2016, 04:25 PM #19
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Old 13-05-2016, 05:03 PM #20
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No Josy is Not that old
you punk
I thought Josy was older tbh.
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Old 13-05-2016, 06:26 PM #21
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It was supposed to be from mum. The other twin was dead silly.
have I lost the plot line
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Old 13-05-2016, 06:28 PM #22
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have I lost the plot line
Basically:

Karen is the lonely woman who just inherited her grandmothers fortune.

The mother didn't get it due to family conflict.

The evil twin (Katherine) and the mum team up to get the money.

Katherine kills Karen to get the money.

Katherine uses Karen's phone to inform the mother that Karen is dead.
Last edited by Will.; 13-05-2016 at 06:32 PM.
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Old 16-05-2016, 07:29 AM #23
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It's really good, well done Will
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