[Emilee]

What are everyone's opinions on suicide?
Has anyone ever experienced someone close to them considering or commited suicide, and how did it effect you?
What should you say to someone considering suicide?
How would you deal with it?

Discuss....

[Psylocke]

A good friend of mine tried commiting suicide last week,i rang her up and screamed down the phone calling her a stupid selfish bitch,she was still in her hospital bed,and she was sick before this anyway,so the pills have done alot of damage.

I got quite upset today and range her again,and we had a long chat.

Suicide is utterly utterly wrong,stupid and selfish.

Ps.its weird you brought this up,i was contemplating writing about it

[Lauren]

Nothing you say can ever "make it right" for some that is seriously considering committing suicide. All you can do as a friend is to show them that the effects of them doing this is widespread - let them know you care.
Often, suicide can be a cry for help, they need someone to know that you care for them and losing them would be a terrible thing to happen.

Try not to say "Don't be silly" or "Don't do anything stupid" - because this is a form of invalidation and doesn't help diffuse a situation.

Talking about problems can really help with someone considering this, and let them know you are there for them to talk to whenever they wish, and you will never judge them on anything.

[Emilee]

Yer i just needed to get it off my chest, and find out if anyone had gone through the same experience. Suicide is the worst thing ever, it is more traumatic for the people around, who have to deal with wondering if they will actually go through with it. It is the most destressing situation ever.

P.S: Sorry to hear about your friend hope she is alright.

[Lauren]

Suicide is the most distressing situation ever. It doesn't just hurt everybody around the "victim" but it also highlights the severe pain and trauma of the person, who genuinely had to turn to death to get away from life.

[Emilee]

Originally posted by Lauren
Nothing you say can ever "make it right" for some that is seriously considering committing suicide. All you can do as a friend is to show them that the effects of them doing this is widespread - let them know you care.
Often, suicide can be a cry for help, they need someone to know that you care for them and losing them would be a terrible thing to happen.

Try not to say "Don't be silly" or "Don't do anything stupid" - because this is a form of invalidation and doesn't help diffuse a situation.

Talking about problems can really help with someone considering this, and let them know you are there for them to talk to whenever they wish, and you will never judge them on anything.

Thanks Lauren, that was really good information. Today i spent all afternoon in connexions talking to a consultant with about 5 other people and the person thinking about commiting suicede. It was the most depressing destressing
situation ever. Talking about it really did help i think. I'm just really hoping nothing happens.

[easypeasy]

http://www.samaritans.org.uk/

[Lauren]

Originally posted by easypeasy
http://www.samaritans.org.uk/

Actually, another good point.
If you're close friends with them, after showing them you care - give them the number to Samaritans and other helplines. Once they have talked to someone they love, they may want to talk to a stranger about it - to get it off their chest.

[easypeasy]

sometimes its easier to talk to a stranger Lauren.

[andybigbro]

Sorry to hear about your friends psylocke

[bonnie43uk]

my workmate hung himself last year after a row with his girlfriend. I spoke to him on the friday, and was laughing and joking with him .. 24 hours later he'd hung himself. i was TOTALLY shocked!!! people say its the cowards way out, but i think going ahead with something as drastic as taking your own life takes emmense courage.
Catholics dont help matters by saying its one of the worst sins a human can commit, they say you will go to hell. Thats what i was brought up to believe as a child. Quite a guilt trip.

[lily.]

If someone is really going to commit suicide there's little or nothing you can do to stop them.

In my experience, when someone actually goes through with it, often their loved ones had no idea they were even thinking of it.

Something that's hard to deal with is the "attention seeking" behaviour some people display where they tell their loved ones they are going to commit suicide when they actually have no intention of doing so. That is heartbreaking for everyone around.

[The_Hitman]

Originally posted by Emilee
What would you say if someone was seriousy considering comiting suicide? What would you do to try and stop them from doing it, and make everything alright?

Id just say listen, sort your head out, theres no use crying over spilt milk.

Oh and, dont do it.

[BigSister]

I dont think there was anything i could do or say because like Linda said if they want to do the deed then their head is set on doing it

[Lauren]

Originally posted by BigSister
I dont think there was anything i could do or say because like Linda said if they want to do the deed then their head is set on doing it

I don't agree.

Personally, I know someone that attempted suicide once and it was a failed attempt. After realising people loved them and wanted them around (and counseling) this same person is here with us today.
It may seem like a lost cause but simply talking to someone can save a life.

[Sunny_01]

Suicide is a choice, who are we to remove that choice from people. When someone is so depressed that they actually consider and follow through taking their own lives I cant help but feel so sad for them.

Suicide is not a solution, it is an end before a solution can be found. A very dear friend of mine chose to take her own life last year, at first I was sad, then angry then guilty that I had not realised that she felt so bad, then I realised it was not about me, my sadness was mine but her nightmare that made her feel she had no options was hers.

I agree with Stropz, Those that make the poor me I want to die attempts well that is generally a form of attention seeking. Those that truly want to die just get on and do it. They tie up loose ends and very rarely do it spontaneously it is generally thought out and planned to the last second of their life.

Many people who for whatever reason fail suicide attempts are genuine in their desire to die at that particular moment but is rarely a thought out planned serious attempt. They generally do go on to do well when they gain the support they feel they need

[Lauren]

Originally posted by Sunny_01
Those that make the poor me I want to die attempts well that is generally a form of attention seeking.

However, you then have to consider why these people feel "threatening" suicide will give them the attention they need. These people clearly feel useless and need attention in this way, and once again I pity people who feel like they constantly need their feelings to be validated by friends.

[Sophii3x]

My best friend has never considered suicide, but has cut herself.

I was just screaming at her on the phone to stop
She used glass and when she came into school the next day the cuts were really deep

[Lauren]

Originally posted by Sophii3x
My best friend has never considered suicide, but has cut herself.

I was just screaming at her on the phone to stop
She used glass and when she came into school the next day the cuts were really deep

Cutting oneself is usually a cry for help. Your friend wants people to take notice of her feelings, there is something she dislikes about herself/her life and she feels she wants to talk to someone.
As a friend, all you can do is talk to her about her feelings - show her you care.

Also, give her the number of childline (0800 1111). There is counsellors on the phone 24 hours a day 7 days a week, for free (And the name "Childline" won't appear on her phonebill for her parents to see). Sometimes it is easier for people to talk to strangers about their problems and often this helps - it will also show her that as a friend you care about her well-being.

[Sophii3x]

Originally posted by Lauren

Cutting oneself is usually a cry for help. Your friend wants people to take notice of her feelings, there is something she dislikes about herself/her life and she feels she wants to talk to someone.
As a friend, all you can do is talk to her about her feelings - show her you care.

Also, give her the number of childline (0800 1111). There is counsellors on the phone 24 hours a day 7 days a week, for free (And the name "Childline" won't appear on her phonebill for her parents to see). Sometimes it is easier for people to talk to strangers about their problems and often this helps - it will also show her that as a friend you care about her well-being.

Thanks for the advice Lauren
She ok now, but if she starts again I will give her the advise you just have

And also I know what it's like
I did it to myself last year when i got bullied in school
But I'm ok now

[lily.]

Originally posted by Sunny_01
... Those that truly want to die just get on and do it. They tie up loose ends and very rarely do it spontaneously it is generally thought out and planned to the last second of their life.

I'm amazed at just how many details are attended to in some cases. I know of people who have planned for weeks and made sure every single small detail was attended to. It's actually quite disturbing to think that even in their emotional state, they are capable of such intricate planning.

However, it does make you realise that nobody can stop someone from taking their own life. If they are set on doing it, they will do it regardless of intervention.

[Emilee]

And also I know what it's like
I did it to myself last year when i got bullied in school
But I'm ok now

Aww Sophie. I was bullied aswell at school (in year 7).
Glad your O.K now

[lily.]

Yeah, I'm also glad you got past that stage Soph. It's my worst nightmare for my children to be honest.. Bullying.. cuz schools just don't deal with it in my opinion...

*oh, another thread idea...*

[Lauren]

Soph, cutting yourself isn't anything to be ashamed of - not at all. You got past that point in your life, and you fought it - you should be proud that you don't do it anymore and it takes strength for you to get past something so big in your life.
Well done.

[lily.]

I agree.. and it's good that you can talk about it now. You are obviously a much stronger person now to have overcome it.