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Old 09-11-2016, 09:45 PM   #1
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Default Problems at uni?

Did you have any problems at uni? Any times/parts you didn't enjoy?

I'm 2 months in and I feel like I'm going through a bit of a friends crisis - like, I know there are plenty of people who care about me and want to spend time with me, but I have two problems: firstly, i feel as though i don't have enough friends - i have a greaaat friend group of about 8, but I feel as though we're stuck in a bit of a rut. Secondly, I don't really feel I have a best friend so to speak. In our friend group, there is two kinda subgroups, and I'm not extremely close to anyone. This also leads onto the housing problem: the two sub- friend groups have got together and now I have no one to live with... Worried I'm gonna end up in halls again next year

Sorry, bit of a rant lol.
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Old 09-11-2016, 09:47 PM   #2
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you have been there 2 months and you are worrying about this?



Go to the library and study, that is what you are there for, its not a social club
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Old 09-11-2016, 09:50 PM   #3
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you have been there 2 months and you are worrying about this?



Go to the library and study, that is what you are there for, its not a social club
Oooh LT
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Old 09-11-2016, 09:51 PM   #4
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Oooh LT
im not joking, you are there to work not fanny about being popular

the library is your only friend, that and alcohol

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Old 09-11-2016, 09:54 PM   #5
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im not joking, you are there to work not fanny about being popular

the library is your only friend, that and alcohol

Hmm if only I wasn't sick to bloody death of learning and reading books and didn't have to do 3.5 more years of it
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Old 09-11-2016, 09:55 PM   #6
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Hmm if only I wasn't sick to bloody death of learning and reading books and didn't have to do 3.5 more years of it
well i hope you know exactly what job you are getting at the end of it and not arriving in the job market 3 years behind your peers having a boss 1 year younger than you ?
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:04 PM   #7
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Uni is a mind**** like this in first year and it can be pretty ****, there's a crazy amount of pressure to make 'friends for life' straight away even though you've only been there a few weeks and you're trying to come to terms with the whole experience of it all. Conventional wisdom is always just that its amazing without any qualification, 'best time of your life' etc. etc. I didn't really take to it straight away and it took me quite a while to feel comfortable at Uni - well over a year. In my second year I lived with people I didn't know first year because I wasn't really in a set group so missed out.

I would only say not to stress about it too much, you're still early into what is really quite a brief period of your life in any case - its not worth spending too much time worrying. And two months is a tiny part of your Uni experience so there's still so many opportunities to make use of.
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:24 PM   #8
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i took solace in masturbation, cider, audio tapes of Star Trek the original series and my 9" black and white TV

They served me well thru the dark days

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Old 09-11-2016, 10:56 PM   #9
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Yeh, if youve only been there 2 months then I wouldnt worry. Choose a side and make them fall in love with you before March! Also if there is more than two girls in any of the subgroups, they probably wont make it til March.

And if you really cant convince them to find a bigger house then there will be people begging you to join their house on the facebook groups nearer the end of the year, you'll probably even get a discount and new mates for your last 2 years.

(Maybe subtly ask what peoples housing plans are next time youre drunk with your favourite, maybe theyve all assumed youre with the other subgroup)
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Old 09-11-2016, 10:58 PM   #10
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Also, I got all the way through Uni without reading anything, so you can cut it down a bit! Didnt read anything til masters and even then I didnt read a tenth as much as I claimed I did. Let me know if you want to know the top tips for cheating your way ghrough it, I'll send you the best links.
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Old 09-11-2016, 11:50 PM   #11
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The beginning bit of uni is probably the hardest for most people. And ignore LT, it's about much more than just studying, obviously that's important too but honestly, it's probably the least important thing in the first few months
Like Withano said, don't be afraid to mention the housing thing to people you meet, lots of people will be in the same situation or will know other people who are. You might end up living with people you don't even know yet, and that happens with a lot of people.
Good luck with it!
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Old 10-11-2016, 04:07 AM   #12
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I made my closest friends in year two so take it slow!!
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Old 10-11-2016, 05:08 AM   #13
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you have been there 2 months and you are worrying about this?



Go to the library and study, that is what you are there for, its not a social club
I agree with LT. Whilst it's great to have friends, especially someone to study with, the main reason you are there is to get your degree. Surely one or two real and true friendships are better than tons of people, who you think of as friends, but are little more than aquaintances.
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Old 10-11-2016, 05:28 AM   #14
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Just go with the flow and don't try and force it too much. I didn't meet even half of the people I hang with at this point in the year.
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Old 10-11-2016, 05:31 AM   #15
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and with the house thing just go with the group that asks you first.
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Old 09-08-2017, 08:43 PM   #16
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okay guys i need advice

this thread shows i didn't enjoy first semester thaat much and was v ill with glandular fever, yet second semester was waaaay better - so much more fun and made so many great friends.

i just have a problem that i feel like i'm missing out. i go to st andrews, and there's two things bugging me there: it's too small, and the gay scene is ****. i just don't look forward to going back there that much for 2nd year as it's pretty similar to the place i'm from and i just miss the city so much (i spent my school years in edinburgh). also, a lot of friends from where i live are headed to glasgow, and i honestly just worry, as good a time i had in first year, that i'm totally missing out on the university life i imagined: being in a vibrant cosmopolitan city, and having access to a sea, as opposed to a pond, of gay guys.

i am honestly considering applying to glasgow - the **** thing is they don't do transfers, so i'd need to start from year 1 with people two years younger than me. i just don't know if it's worth it, but i'm thinking of just applying anyway, and seeing how second year at st andrews goes
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Old 09-08-2017, 08:55 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet View Post
you have been there 2 months and you are worrying about this?



Go to the library and study, that is what you are there for, its not a social club
Yeah TomC don't worry about a social life babes just be a robot and live in the library!!!! Great bloody advice LT, I'm sure he appreciates it.

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Old 09-08-2017, 08:58 PM   #18
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okay guys i need advice

this thread shows i didn't enjoy first semester thaat much and was v ill with glandular fever, yet second semester was waaaay better - so much more fun and made so many great friends.

i just have a problem that i feel like i'm missing out. i go to st andrews, and there's two things bugging me there: it's too small, and the gay scene is ****. i just don't look forward to going back there that much for 2nd year as it's pretty similar to the place i'm from and i just miss the city so much (i spent my school years in edinburgh). also, a lot of friends from where i live are headed to glasgow, and i honestly just worry, as good a time i had in first year, that i'm totally missing out on the university life i imagined: being in a vibrant cosmopolitan city, and having access to a sea, as opposed to a pond, of gay guys.

i am honestly considering applying to glasgow - the **** thing is they don't do transfers, so i'd need to start from year 1 with people two years younger than me. i just don't know if it's worth it, but i'm thinking of just applying anyway, and seeing how second year at st andrews goes
Apply for Glasgow hon, no point staying at your current uni if it's not making you happy
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Old 09-08-2017, 08:59 PM   #19
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okay guys i need advice

this thread shows i didn't enjoy first semester thaat much and was v ill with glandular fever, yet second semester was waaaay better - so much more fun and made so many great friends.

i just have a problem that i feel like i'm missing out. i go to st andrews, and there's two things bugging me there: it's too small, and the gay scene is ****. i just don't look forward to going back there that much for 2nd year as it's pretty similar to the place i'm from and i just miss the city so much (i spent my school years in edinburgh). also, a lot of friends from where i live are headed to glasgow, and i honestly just worry, as good a time i had in first year, that i'm totally missing out on the university life i imagined: being in a vibrant cosmopolitan city, and having access to a sea, as opposed to a pond, of gay guys.

i am honestly considering applying to glasgow - the **** thing is they don't do transfers, so i'd need to start from year 1 with people two years younger than me. i just don't know if it's worth it, but i'm thinking of just applying anyway, and seeing how second year at st andrews goes

I think the majority of people don't really have a great first semester. I know I didn't either and was very ill throughout the first one. Is there an LGBT society in your SU? That could always help? I felt the same about Southampton and didn't really want to go back for a second year. I don't think you should judge your time at university based on what you're seeing from others. Each experience is different and location isn't all the same!

I don't think you should transfer unless you are really sure. I felt exactly the same as you did now, this time last year but I powered on through second year and things got sooooo much better straight away.
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Old 09-08-2017, 09:39 PM   #20
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Not Fife being unable to cater for the gays.
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Old 09-08-2017, 09:45 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by TomC View Post
okay guys i need advice

this thread shows i didn't enjoy first semester thaat much and was v ill with glandular fever, yet second semester was waaaay better - so much more fun and made so many great friends.

i just have a problem that i feel like i'm missing out. i go to st andrews, and there's two things bugging me there: it's too small, and the gay scene is ****. i just don't look forward to going back there that much for 2nd year as it's pretty similar to the place i'm from and i just miss the city so much (i spent my school years in edinburgh). also, a lot of friends from where i live are headed to glasgow, and i honestly just worry, as good a time i had in first year, that i'm totally missing out on the university life i imagined: being in a vibrant cosmopolitan city, and having access to a sea, as opposed to a pond, of gay guys.

i am honestly considering applying to glasgow - the **** thing is they don't do transfers, so i'd need to start from year 1 with people two years younger than me. i just don't know if it's worth it, but i'm thinking of just applying anyway, and seeing how second year at st andrews goes
Obviously only apply to somewhere that does do transfers! Glasgow isnt the only cool city in the world! You really shouldn't redo a year for the sake of living in a better place imo, life, and uni holidays are pretty long, you've still got enough time to experience all the nightlife in the world
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Old 09-08-2017, 09:57 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by TomC View Post
okay guys i need advice

this thread shows i didn't enjoy first semester thaat much and was v ill with glandular fever, yet second semester was waaaay better - so much more fun and made so many great friends.

i just have a problem that i feel like i'm missing out. i go to st andrews, and there's two things bugging me there: it's too small, and the gay scene is ****. i just don't look forward to going back there that much for 2nd year as it's pretty similar to the place i'm from and i just miss the city so much (i spent my school years in edinburgh). also, a lot of friends from where i live are headed to glasgow, and i honestly just worry, as good a time i had in first year, that i'm totally missing out on the university life i imagined: being in a vibrant cosmopolitan city, and having access to a sea, as opposed to a pond, of gay guys.

i am honestly considering applying to glasgow - the **** thing is they don't do transfers, so i'd need to start from year 1 with people two years younger than me. i just don't know if it's worth it, but i'm thinking of just applying anyway, and seeing how second year at st andrews goes
Are you SAAS funded? If so, I say go for it and apply elsewhere if you're not happy where you are. You get a "false start" (or at least, you used to?) which means that you can leave your first course after one year and still get a full 4 year's funding on another course. If you wait any longer, you won't get full funding (and will have to fund your final year yourself).

I wouldn't worry about the age thing either; I started uni at 18 and dropped out after 6 months, then took 18 months out before I started at another University, so I was starting first year at 20. I was only third oldest (out of ten) in my flat in halls, and there were 4 more who were 19, then two 18 year olds and a 17 year old. A lot of people take a gap year these days. Also the one who was 17 ended up being one of my best friends throughout the whole four years at Uni so I don't think these small age differences matter much . It's not like school.
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Old 09-08-2017, 10:37 PM   #23
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Apply for Glasgow hon, no point staying at your current uni if it's not making you happy
hm it's not so much that i'm not happy, i'm just terrified for what I'm missing out on. maybe this is the wrong mindset tho, and it will be like a self-fulfilling prophecy now cos my investment in St A is waning

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I think the majority of people don't really have a great first semester. I know I didn't either and was very ill throughout the first one. Is there an LGBT society in your SU? That could always help? I felt the same about Southampton and didn't really want to go back for a second year. I don't think you should judge your time at university based on what you're seeing from others. Each experience is different and location isn't all the same!

I don't think you should transfer unless you are really sure. I felt exactly the same as you did now, this time last year but I powered on through second year and things got sooooo much better straight away.
Thanks for your advice. I'm definitely going to go in and be optimistic and try and make the most of it!

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Not Fife being unable to cater for the gays.
Get them in order Marc.

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Obviously only apply to somewhere that does do transfers! Glasgow isnt the only cool city in the world! You really shouldn't redo a year for the sake of living in a better place imo, life, and uni holidays are pretty long, you've still got enough time to experience all the nightlife in the world
It's just options are limited because I get fees payed if I stay in Scotland, and also Glasgow is great for me as I have lots of friends there and it's pretty close to home.

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Are you SAAS funded? If so, I say go for it and apply elsewhere if you're not happy where you are. You get a "false start" (or at least, you used to?) which means that you can leave your first course after one year and still get a full 4 year's funding on another course. If you wait any longer, you won't get full funding (and will have to fund your final year yourself).

I wouldn't worry about the age thing either; I started uni at 18 and dropped out after 6 months, then took 18 months out before I started at another University, so I was starting first year at 20. I was only third oldest (out of ten) in my flat in halls, and there were 4 more who were 19, then two 18 year olds and a 17 year old. A lot of people take a gap year these days. Also the one who was 17 ended up being one of my best friends throughout the whole four years at Uni so I don't think these small age differences matter much . It's not like school.
I've definitely heard of false starts. Dropping out rn is impossible unfortunately, so it looks like either way I'd have to pay for the final year?
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Old 09-08-2017, 10:41 PM   #24
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I think "uni life" is bigged up massively and only very few have the "experience" that is promoted on social media
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Old 09-08-2017, 10:48 PM   #25
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I think "uni life" is bigged up massively and only very few have the "experience" that is promoted on social media
This. It would be a big mistake to presume the grass is greener and that you're missing out on a much better experience by not being in a big city

Without being rude I think that wanting to be in a 'sea of gay guys' and have access to a bit more nightlife are really bad reasons to transfer universities. It's very possible you won't enjoy it there and social life aside what if you find the course is taught much differently and not as much to your liking etc. University is only three years, you can always try and move to a city once you have your degree
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