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Old 12-05-2017, 09:58 AM   #51
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A marriage without trust isn't going to work, don't waste your time and hers with attempting it.
This really, I cant see this being an issue for anyone other than celebs or multi millionaires anyway
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Old 12-05-2017, 10:00 AM   #52
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This really, I cant see this being an issue for anyone other than celebs or multi millionaires anyway
But that applies to Truth of course.
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Old 12-05-2017, 10:04 AM   #53
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Oh are we still actually playing along with this fiction?

She s demanding half of everything before they've even got married. Ok.
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Old 12-05-2017, 10:04 AM   #54
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What next? His fiance just happens to be Germaine Greer?
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Old 12-05-2017, 10:07 AM   #55
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Oh are we still actually playing along with this fiction?

She s demanding half of everything before they've even got married. Ok.
Shhhhhhh it's harmless fun. Unless there actually is a literal woman. In which case it's probably a case of psychological abuse. But... shh anyway.
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Old 12-05-2017, 10:15 AM   #56
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If you have to go and see solicitors behind her back and stuff you shouldn't be with her!
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Old 12-05-2017, 11:36 AM   #57
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Shhhhhhh it's harmless fun. Unless there actually is a literal woman. In which case it's probably a case of psychological abuse. But... shh anyway.
cheers for the mockery she wants to go 50 /50 on the deeds of the house we're buying, I dont. I rather buy it alone but she wants security as shes moving down from england and leaving her job etc

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Old 12-05-2017, 11:39 AM   #58
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cheers for the mockery she wants to go 50 /50 on the deeds of the house we're buying, I dont. I rather buy it alone but she wants security as shes moving down from england and leaving her job etc
Either buy it 50/50, pay for it 50/50 and trust each other to share it 50/50... or don't buy a house together. Live separately or rent until you do trust each other.

That's the answer you keep getting when you ask this question on here... from everyone. It's not going to change no matter how many times you ask...
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Old 12-05-2017, 11:54 AM   #59
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If you aren't married then I'd advise you to get something called a pre-purchase agreement. If the deposit is being paid by your parents or her parents its going to get halved down the middle if you don't have a ppa. Remember though, your lender will have to agree to this or you could end up in deep water when/if it all goes pete-tongue.

This is an appropriate site to have a look at https://andersonstrathern.co.uk/news...ase-agreement/
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Old 12-05-2017, 12:03 PM   #60
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Either buy it 50/50, pay for it 50/50 and trust each other to share it 50/50... or don't buy a house together. Live separately or rent until you do trust each other.

That's the answer you keep getting when you ask this question on here... from everyone. It's not going to change no matter how many times you ask...
Thats not the only answer Ive had. what about 60/40 on the deeds have you known people who have done that
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Old 12-05-2017, 12:05 PM   #61
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If you aren't married then I'd advise you to get something called a pre-purchase agreement. If the deposit is being paid by your parents or her parents its going to get halved down the middle if you don't have a ppa. Remember though, your lender will have to agree to this or you could end up in deep water when/if it all goes pete-tongue.

This is an appropriate site to have a look at https://andersonstrathern.co.uk/news...ase-agreement/
I actually have the funds myself already. I can buy it alone. but she says if shes moving from england she wants to own 50% of the house. she has 30k to put towards it
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Old 12-05-2017, 12:12 PM   #62
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I actually have the funds myself already. I can buy it alone. but she says if shes moving from england she wants to own 50% of the house. she has 30k to put towards it
The thing is, the fact that you have to ask is what makes it a bad idea to go into shared ownership of a property together in the first place. If both of you are so intent on having legal protections over owning it 50/50 then you're not really at the point in your relationship, I would say, where you are even ready to live together full term let alone share ownership. Have you been in a long term / committed relationship before? I don't know what to tell you other than that having to take out legal documents in order to trust each other is simply not normal, at all.
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Old 12-05-2017, 12:28 PM   #63
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I actually have the funds myself already. I can buy it alone. but she says if shes moving from england she wants to own 50% of the house. she has 30k to put towards it
I don't blame her. She wants protection just as much as you do. This isn't just about a parting of the ways which are very messy if you're not married and you are buying property together, its not an engagement ring. We could be talking £hundreds of thousands What would happen if one of you died? What happens in the future if you do split?. Even if she doesn't come on the mortgage but pays towards it, you need a legal document in place to protect you both.

I'm married but we have still protected ourselves as individuals because sometimes, unexpected **** happens.
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Old 12-05-2017, 12:39 PM   #64
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The thing is, the fact that you have to ask is what makes it a bad idea to go into shared ownership of a property together in the first place. If both of you are so intent on having legal protections over owning it 50/50 then you're not really at the point in your relationship, I would say, where you are even ready to live together full term let alone share ownership. Have you been in a long term / committed relationship before? I don't know what to tell you other than that having to take out legal documents in order to trust each other is simply not normal, at all.
I think its a good idea to have a pre-purchase agreement. There was a couple on a boat yard we were once on who lived in his Dutch barge that still had a mortgage on it. They had no such agreement but she was his life partner so she shared the bills, including money towards the mortgage. He died suddenly and his greedy family descended on the boat and took everything. There was nothing put in place to protect her and so she lost her man, lost her home and got nothing.
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Old 12-05-2017, 12:43 PM   #65
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I think its a good idea to have a pre-purchase agreement. There was a couple on a boat yard we were once on who lived in his Dutch barge that still had a mortgage on it. They had no such agreement but she was his life partner so she shared the bills, including money towards the mortgage. He died suddenly and his greedy family descended on the boat and took everything. There was nothing put in place to protect her and so she lost her man, lost her home and got nothing.
Right but the point here is that Truth DOESN'T want to share the house with her 50/50 and that exact same thing could happen to her, given that whoever did inherit his share would own more than half of the property. I'm totally with you when it comes to ensuring that partners DO have rights to half of everything when the unexpected happens, but truths angle is to specifically ensure that she DOES NOT have rights to half. My question would be, why would anyone really want that sort of relationship? I guess that's entirely his business. But then, he is asking for advice on a public forum so I guess it's open for comment .
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Old 12-05-2017, 12:57 PM   #66
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Right but the point here is that Truth DOESN'T want to share the house with her 50/50 and that exact same thing could happen to her, given that whoever did inherit his share would own more than half of the property. I'm totally with you when it comes to ensuring that partners DO have rights to half of everything when the unexpected happens, but truths angle is to specifically ensure that she DOES NOT have rights to half. My question would be, why would anyone really want that sort of relationship? I guess that's entirely his business. But then, he is asking for advice on a public forum so I guess it's open for comment .
Ah ok, well I'm being a bit slow today!

If I was her, I'd be very suspicious of his motives. Regardless of paying part of the mortgage and bills, if there's no agreement, she's screwed if he decides to end the relationship and she gets nothing for her investment.

She's the one making the biggest compromise because she's moving some distance, which means she needs new employment. Why would she do that when the stakes for losing everything are so high?

Unmarried people split all the time, regardless of them sharing a mortgage. Truth is already in a good place because he clearly has the money to buy her out if need be.
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Old 12-05-2017, 01:24 PM   #67
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Ah ok, well I'm being a bit slow today!

If I was her, I'd be very suspicious of his motives. Regardless of paying part of the mortgage and bills, if there's no agreement, she's screwed if he decides to end the relationship and she gets nothing for her investment.

She's the one making the biggest compromise because she's moving some distance, which means she needs new employment. Why would she do that when the stakes for losing everything are so high?

Unmarried people split all the time, regardless of them sharing a mortgage. Truth is already in a good place because he clearly has the money to buy her out if need be.
I want the agreement, she doesnt
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Old 12-05-2017, 01:35 PM   #68
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I want the agreement, she doesnt
You want an agreement so she doesnt get anything of yours not to protect her though, thats the opposite of what DR said
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Old 12-05-2017, 01:47 PM   #69
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I want the agreement, she doesnt
So you don't want her in on the mortgage and you want an agreement?

She wants to pay half the mortgage but doesn't want an agreement?

She's accepted that you won't let her pay her half of the mortgage but she doesn't want an agreement?
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Old 12-05-2017, 01:56 PM   #70
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If the two of you are buying it outright, then I see no problem having an ownership agreement drawn up to say what percentage you both own.
If there was still to be some mortgage, it could get a bit messy.
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Old 12-05-2017, 01:59 PM   #71
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So you don't want her in on the mortgage and you want an agreement?

She wants to pay half the mortgage but doesn't want an agreement?

She's accepted that you won't let her pay her half of the mortgage but she doesn't want an agreement?
In short; he is going to be putting up more cash than her but is terrified that she is going to screw him over for half of the property once it's bought.

I mean... we know nothing about her really to say whether or not this is a realistic fear, but my take on it is, the fact that it's a fear at all suggests VERY strongly that Mr Truth is not ready for this step .

Truth if it's that much of an issue just buy it 100% yourself and be the sole owner, but with her living with you (if you must...). She pays nothing up front, and nothing towards it afterwards; it's your house. It shouldn't really be a risk for her... if she has the cash to put towards a house now then she can put that money away safely, and even add to it on a monthly basis since she'll be paying no mortgage, and if (when??? as you seem to be sure it'll happen!) you do break up she won't be left in a bad position because she'll still have that money .

She would actually be putting herself in the WORST POSSIBLE position if she does things the way you want to; her putting up the money she has to be a less than 50% owner. In that case, when you break up, she has NO money to set herself up and you have a stronger claim on the property than she does, leaving her pretty much screwed, other than requesting that the property be sold and the money split again, but selling a house can take months if not years. She would have to be insane to sign the agreement you're seeking. And if you really want her to... I can't understand how you can even claim to like this person, let alone love her?
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Old 12-05-2017, 03:35 PM   #72
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Thats not the only answer Ive had. what about 60/40 on the deeds have you known people who have done that
You seem to just want to get married and still selfishly keep everything purely for yourself. Therefore I'd advise not getting married at all. You're defeating the purpose.

Last thing you need is to be another divorce statistic.
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