[Robodog]

Bit of fun for finals night.

In the style of MOCK THE WEEK:
What are things you'd NEVER hear on the show?

Add your own ones to the thread.

Here's mine:

1. I never say it to people's faces. I much prefer talking behind their backs.

2. I'm not here for the experience, i'm only in it for the money.

3. There'll be no twists this year, just straightforward DR nominations.

4. Thanks Aisleyne, that was such a lovely thing to say about Helen.

5. Wow! The launch night crowd are loving all the intelligent, rich, sexually-confident female housemates tonight!

6. And here on BOTS..... we've got a whole new audience!

7. Yes! She's back by popular demand, she's your new Big Brother host: It's AJ !

8. Twerking is now banned. The next housemate who twerks will be evicted immediately.

9. This year's Big Brother is a special revival year. It's all the same housemates from BB4! All over again!

[bitontheslide]

10. This house has solid foundations, and cannot be rocked

[parmnion]

Great idea..

Oh what a shock, you got us bb. A secret room omg!!!

[JTM45]

''That Luton was suuuuch a nice bloke wasn't he ? His respect for women was positively inspirational''

[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Robodog

1. I never say it to people's faces. I much prefer talking behind their backs.

I swear someone did actually say this once but I can't remember who it was, it's really bugging me now!

[armand.kay]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

I swear someone did actually say this once but I can't remember who it was, it's really bugging me now!

sounds like something vanessa (bb6) said in her vt.

[andybigbro]

"We are going to have no contact with the outside world this series"

[bitontheslide]

warning, this episode has no aggressive scenes of confrontation

[Captain.Remy]

"Hughie/Makosi you are the winner, please leave the Big Brother house"

I'm still devastated and salty about this I can admit that lmao

[Jay28jay2]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

I swear someone did actually say this once but I can't remember who it was, it's really bugging me now!

Nick Henderson said that in his VT

[Littlegreen]

- Live feed has been returned as CH5 executives care about the audience.

[JTM45]

'' This year the winner will take home all of the prize money and we promise we won't be giving a third of it away in a cheap attempt to bump up viewing figures''

[y.winter]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

I swear someone did actually say this once but I can't remember who it was, it's really bugging me now!

BB16 Nick on his VT. Something like "why would I want to say it to people's faces, I'll be talking behind their back". I had high expectations

[storybrooke]

We're increasing the prize fund this year.
24/7 live feed will be starting with immediate effect.
The tasks are going to be actually challenging and won't involve bitchy comment clips from the housemates used to instigate fighting.

[rph]

Big Brother to HG in DR " Fook off bore"

[Tozzie]

this year BB will not be watched by the general public

[Paula D]

HM: I wanna go home.
BB: The door on the left is now open, off ya pop.

[Purple.]

"Nikki Graham will not be on Bit on the Side this year."

"Housemates who break into the camera runs will be evicted immediately."

"There will be no reality TV people on this year's show."

[rionablue]

Marcus has been bored off and Ian Sterling is the man of the voice now