[GiRTh]

Seeing as everybody else has had their say on this weekends activities; it's only right for me to have my say.

I hear that a certain forum member is completely unrepentent over their actions and, now has me on ignore. Why is that? Let's take a look at the evidence shall we?

They posted regarding Paris Hilton - 'I dont care what she did free her'. I posted asking them to justify that position and I was told to 'Bugger off idiot'. I've read many posts claiming that this forum member was simply 'defending Paris'. Can anybody tell me which bit was defending Paris Was it the 'Bugger off' bit or the 'idiot' bit. I'm eager to hear your thoughts.

Also, I must make the point that this forum member now has me on ignore for nothing other than asking them to explain themselves. I have never resorted to swearing or insults towards that forum member- they have insulted and abused me on many an occasion. All I did was ask them to explain themself and all hell breaks loose. The fact they have me on ignore says more about them than it does about me.

There is a division on this forum and I don't see it being healed any time soon. I, for one, will never back down. So, is this it? Is this how the forum is going to be? Where forum members consistently post inaccurate statements and incomplete thoughts but no one can ask them to justify it without being subjected to profanity, insults and abuse. Where has the willingness to debate gone? Why do forum members respond to opposing arguments with insults? I don't know, but one thing I do know is that the events of the weekend have made me even more determined to speak my mind and stand up for my views. After all, this is a forum.

[stacey]

i havent really been involved in any arguments mainly but making threads like this is going to start arguments

[GiRTh]

I hope it doesn't cause an argument but it probably will. I just hope that posters understand what I'm trying to say. If I have an opposing point of view to someone and air it, I don't expect and, will not accept, a mouthful of abuse in return. That's all.

[Ruth]

GiRThy - I don't know who this member is you're referring to, but I could take a guess.

Anyhow, I hope you never back down in stating your opinion. It never bothers me if people disagree with me about something, if they're able to state their opinion civilly and reasonably. If they can't respond without resorting to insults, then they obviously haven't got a very good point to make in the first place. Either that or they're too immature to handle a proper conversation. There were a lot of insults thrown around this weekend, in lieu of any of those particular posters being able to make a reasonable point (it's as if they were thinking, "okay you've got me there, I know, I'll just call you a name instead") Pitiful behaviour really.

You always make good points GiRTh, and if people don't agree with them, well fair enough if they can say so in a reasonable manner, but some of them can't - that's the problem.

Tbh, it's really annoyed me this weekend, to the extent that I think, is it worth coming on a forum at all if it's only going to get me worked up? There's far more important things in life to worry about.

[lily.]

I considered leaving for the same reason Ruth. Then I decided just not to let any of it bother me so I came back. I wasn't even gone for a full 24 hours.

Really committed to my cause wasn't I?

[Ruth]

The thing is, there really are some great people on here as well, and although half of me thinks I shouldn't bother coming here, the other half thinks why should I have to stop chatting with them just because of a few people on here?

But last time I decided to leave, I couldn't stay away for the full 24 hours either!!

[GiRTh]

I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to post where I want, when I want. People need to get used to it.

[lily.]

Originally posted by Ruth
But last time I decided to leave, I couldn't stay away for the full 24 hours either!!

Ah well, I'm glad it's not just me. And, you are right, there are loads of great people on here from all walks of life who you might not get to mix with in your everyday life. So it is a good site in that respect. I just hope things can change.

[GlitterEyes]

I think most of the time its just better to rise above the comments rather than let it effect you. The forum is what you make it and letting one or two people effect you is silly. If you have issues with whatever comments just report it and move on instead of letting it get you down. You will always get one or two members who like to be the centre of attention and will go out of their way to annoy others but just try to ignore it then they will get tired of bothering.

[lily.]

Wise words G.E. I must admit to retaliating instead of hitting REPORT. But if I'm going to stay here then I have to stop doing that. I'm already on my 3rd warning (mostly for retaliation), and it's just not worth it.

This place is supposed to be fun, light-hearted and interesting.

[Sunny_01]

I think the problem is mutual respect or lack of it. I agree that when you post something you are really passionate about its hard when someone challenges that idea, but thats what good debate is about, its about challenging each others perceptions of the world. Its also about trying to understand each other, if someone makes a sweeping statement its nice for them to be able to back it up with a reasonable reason as to why they made it, or is it just me and a few others that think that way.

I know personally when I ask someone why they think certain things I am in no way challenging them as such I am generally asking them to help me understand. An example of this is when Chris explained why he felt that Paris should be treated differently, I have to say after reading his reason I accepted that nor would I like her to be treated badly and if that meant being treated differently then so be it.

Sometimes it is about communication as well, when you are reading something it often seems different to the way a person actually meant it to sound, sometimes words can seem to be written in an agressive manner when that is not the writers intention. I suppose the best way of dealing with things is to re-read what we write in the hope that we dont upset people without realising it.

[MarkWaldorf]

Originally posted by L

Ah well, I'm glad it's not just me. And, you are right, there are loads of great people on here from all walks of life who you might not get to mix with in your everyday life. So it is a good site in that respect. I just hope things can change.

If you want things to change, why did you post a thread the other night, asking to pick sides?

I'm not causing an argument, I'm just curious. Because you start that, then leave, and now back like nothing has happened.

[Sunny_01]

I am pretty sure that was one of those heat of the moment things Mark - today is a new day

[MarkWaldorf]

Yeah, looking back it probably was. Especially after reading the posts in the chill zone that night...

[Sunny_01]

Originally posted by MarkChap?!
Yeah, looking back it probably was. Especially after reading the posts in the chill zone that night...

Glad to see you back by the way Mark

[MarkWaldorf]

Thanks.

[tinkerbell]

Go Girth !!

[nodisharmony]

A great topic GiRTh

Nice to get this little problem solved, so we can all move on to normality, which I am sure we all want?

Anyway, a few comments to each member within the thread.

Firstly:-


To GiRTh:- You consider that there is a division in the forum? It is nice to see that you personally feel that way and feel the need to point out to us that it is one person in particular who is causing you to start this topic.

You say that this person has you on "Ignore". That is a shame, but it isn't such a problem to anyone else and is an option to everybody, if need be?

Some people debate quite well. Some are better than others and handle things in a special & unique way. Stating facts and ignoring supposition.

I know that you don't back down and that is just the way you are and choose to be.

I know you speak your mind and I could definately say that "speaking-ones-mind" can sometimes cause distress.

I am glad that you won't back down and choose to do what you want and when you want. It will tell many forum members now, what to expect when debating with you.
______________________________________________
To x-stacey-x:- This topic could cause arguments, but I hope it doesn't, as it would only make things worse.

I know that you aren't involved in arguments and I find you a very pleasurable member who is enjoying yourself, without getting involved in negative problems.
______________________________________________
To Ruth:- You say that you don't know who this forum member is? I would guess that you do by now.

People will disagree with you and it is nice when they receive a nice tactful and interesting response in return. But sometimes it doesn't happen and that is when a member requires the maturity to deal with that in a safe and sound way.

I am sure that you agree with GiRTh, as you get on with him, which is very nice and true. This is why other members also agree with their good, good friends.
______________________________________________
To L:- A very observant view of what is in this thread.

I shaln't say anymore......
______________________________________________
To GlitterEyes:- The most positive and truthful post I have seen and I can certainly say that if this happens, we shall all be very happy and this TIBB forum will get back to a nice peaceful and exciting place.

Your a great member, in my opinion
______________________________________________
To MarkChap?!:- It is easy to get in a situation whereby you don't like someone's opinion and in return, state what you feel about it, "Whatever the topic is about".

Once you make that particular post, you can only await the reply from who the post was directed to.

Once that happens, you then have to decide what is the best course of action?

If you are unsure, then just ask

I am sure you are learning quickly.
______________________________________________
To Sunny01:- I nearly always agree with your many great posts and "always the peacemaker", like a few of us are really trying to do right now.
______________________________________________

Now to my closing statement to all of this.
------------------------------------------------------

I believe that if a small minority of members feel that they have issues with one or more other members, then it is true to say, that they will feel that there is some sort of divide.

But that is NOT the way it is for myself.

I am happy to get on with nearly every one on this forum and all the younger members, I certainly don't treat differently because of there younger age.

It is nice to have members who are still at school, or have just left or 16+ to 22 (It means nothing) Members are members and people are people.

I think that a lot of the time, it is simply "provocation" being made angry, by things said in a moment of madness. But it does pass by and it doesn't have to get to you, unless you let it.

I saw a recently banned member come back and suddenly she was provoked and set upon. It all ended in a mess and the inevitable thing happened. It could have been avoided, but things like this happen so quickly.

I say that this forum, since I have been here has had it's magical moments and it's twists and turns, but nothing will change it from being the best Big Brother forum on the net.

No challenge is too much to deal with.

Big Brother is a show which none of us can really ignore or forget about and when Big Brother 8 comes and then passes by, the interest will still linger on & on & on.

So let's stop the negativity and think positive thoughts and for those who think the divide, then live the divide, while others get along and have great fun without you.


I hope at least one person agrees with me?





nodisharmony

[Sunny_01]

A great post Nick - I feel that now is the time to draw a line under past events and try to be a little more considerate towards each other

[GiRTh]

Indeed. I agree Sunny.

I'm glad to see this thread is still open and the comments are still respectful. I said all along that if people realise what I'm trying to say in the first post, then this forum divide can be bridged.

Respect other forum members.

[Z]

Great post, GiRTh!

D'you think, maybe just temporarily, we should ban Paris Hilton as a point of discussion? I know it's a bit radical but to me it would seem almost any argument comes from topics about Paris Hilton..?

[nodisharmony]

Originally posted by Z
Great post, GiRTh!

D'you think, maybe just temporarily, we should ban Paris Hilton as a point of discussion? I know it's a bit radical but to me it would seem almost any argument comes from topics about Paris Hilton..?

No! I don't agree "Z"

That would only discriminate members who wish to debate about her. The best way, is, for those who:-
(don't like Paris Hilton or her fans)

to stay away from those topics and enjoy other subjects.

"There are loads to choose from."

Who is your favourite celebrity "Z"?


------------------------------------------------------------------
(i just edited my post slightly, it was badly worded)
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nodisharmony

[Dan_]

Originally posted by Z
Great post, GiRTh!

D'you think, maybe just temporarily, we should ban Paris Hilton as a point of discussion? I know it's a bit radical but to me it would seem almost any argument comes from topics about Paris Hilton..?

Or perhaps those who cannot accept negative views on her without resorting to insults should stay out of them until they can control themselves.

[Sunny_01]

Lets all try to accept that we all have different views about things and that in attempts to get opinions across things got out of hand

[GiRTh]

Originally posted by Dan_

Or perhaps those who cannot accept negative views on her without resorting to insults should stay out of them until they can control themselves.

I totally agree.