[Josy]

One of my youngest nephews has just turned 4 and at his nursery they request that parents stop telling their kids off if they do something bad, tell them not to say 'that's bad' anymore and instead want the parents to now ask the kid 'was that a good choice or a bad choice?' this is new to me so some with kids may have already came across this but I'm just wondering what peoples thoughts are on this....

[Cherie]

They are still using the word 'bad' though and I think its up to parents how they tell their kids off, its an individual thing we all do things differently which is how the world works.. if the nursery want to have a set way of doing it I'm fine with that I don't think they can dictate to parents though

[Josy]

Originally Posted by Cherie

They are still using the word 'bad' though and I think its up to parents how they tell their kids off, its an individual thing we all do things differently which is how the world works.. if the nursery want to have a set way of doing it I'm fine with that I don't think they can dictate to parents though

I think the same in that it's definitely up to the parents on how they decide to discipline their kids, yeah if the nursery want to do that whilst then kids in their care then fair enough but they cant really expect all the parents to carry that on at home, I only heard about because my nephew was up to something no good (I cant even remember what now) and I said don't do that its bad, then my mother in law said 'we've not to say that now' and explained about the nursery to which I replied 'what a lot of ****e'

I was curious though to what other thought about it

[bots]

If a child understands whats right and whats wrong without being hit or shouted at, I don't see the problem. Kids test boundaries all the time, so logic just doesn't work in that scenario.

[Josy]

Originally Posted by bitontheslide

If a child understands whats right and whats wrong without being hit or shouted at, I don't see the problem. Kids test boundaries all the time, so logic just doesn't work in that scenario.

Oh I completely agree with that but I also don't see any harm in telling a kid if something they've done is bad.

[bots]

Originally Posted by Josy

Oh I completely agree with that but I also don't see any harm in telling a kid if something they've done is bad.

Absolutely. Can i just jump down these stairs would definitely get a "no that's bad" from me

[user104658]

Originally Posted by bitontheslide

If a child understands whats right and whats wrong without being hit or shouted at, I don't see the problem. Kids test boundaries all the time, so logic just doesn't work in that scenario.

Tbf I am quite comfortable stating that hitting or (grabbing / shaking / dragging) children is always the wrong choice. Beyond that, it's a parents own business how they discipline.

[Crimson Dynamo]

I'd tell them to fck off

[user104658]

In theory it's better because it will encourage them to actually think about the action and why it wasn't the right thing to do (rather than just "Oh no I'm in trouble!").

On the practical side though, my eldest is a little contrarian and always has been and I have absolutely no doubt she would have said "a GOOD choice " no matter what had happened

[Josy]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

In theory it's better because it will encourage them to actually think about the action and why it wasn't the right thing to do (rather than just "Oh no I'm in trouble!").

On the practical side though, my eldest is a little contrarian and always has been and I have absolutely no doubt she would have said "a GOOD choice " no matter what had happened

Lmao, this is the problem with my nephew, even when he punches his sister, writes on the wall and just does bad stuff in general everything is a 'good choice' with a knowing smirk tbh

[Josy]

To add to what I posted^^ I genuinely then don't know what to say to him apart from 'ok I'm telling your maw'

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Josy

To add to what I posted^^ I genuinely then don't know what to say to him apart from 'ok I'm telling your maw'

That's what I do too . And they're my own kids .

I swear my wife has the best discipline tactic with her though... She makes her have these huge, long drawn out conversations about what has happened, and her future, and the type of person she wants to be. They can go on for a good hour. I'm pretty sure she would rather get the belt .