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Old 10-06-2018, 07:36 PM #51
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Alisa
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Old 10-06-2018, 07:45 PM #52
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I'd agree with all these tbh.
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Old 10-06-2018, 09:02 PM #53
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Yeah, I think Alisa might be my least favourite first boot because I don't have anything to say about her whatsoever. All I remember her for is being monotoned and boring.
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Old 10-06-2018, 09:05 PM #54
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Why is serena cha cha still to come tho
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Old 10-06-2018, 09:21 PM #55
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On a more positive note than me constantly baying for the blood of, say, Milk, I'll name a few queens who I'd personally like to see finish considerably higher than where I imagine they'll end up: Kimora, Alexis Michelle, Farrah, Laushauwn, The Princess, Porkchop, Sasha Belle, Mayhem, The Vixen, Vivacious
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Old 10-06-2018, 09:27 PM #56
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On a more positive note than me constantly baying for the blood of, say, Milk, I'll name a few queens who I'd personally like to see finish considerably higher than where I imagine they'll end up: Kimora, Alexis Michelle, Farrah, Laushauwn, The Princess, Porkchop, Sasha Belle, Mayhem, The Vixen, Vivacious
Not Alexis, Princess, Porkchop & Sasha
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Old 10-06-2018, 09:28 PM #57
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Yes Alexis, Princess, Porkchop and Sasha

Hence why I put them there
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Old 10-06-2018, 09:56 PM #58
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You thought I might put Mayhem low?
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Old 10-06-2018, 09:58 PM #59
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You thought I might put Mayhem low?
I thought you might work your way from the top down and forget her Well strike her off the list and replace her with... idk, Madame LaQueer?
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Old 11-06-2018, 02:36 AM #60
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120th Place: Akashia (Season 1) - finished 7th

If you ever want to experience true schadenfreude, take a look at the few Showgirls performances on YouTube starring Akashia. They are varying degrees of disastrous.

Akashia may well indeed be the "original lipsync assassin" but when you consider she only sent home Porkchop and a given-up Tammie Brown, it seems a moot point. Season 1 deserves to be looked at with as much of a filter as is on those cameras, because it's an entirely different show to the behemoth it is today. Queens were themselves, they weren't eager to spout catchphrases, and heck, they didn't even know if the show would make it to air. Filmed 10 years ago now, Akashia is the first of many young, messy, conceited queens that has left with egg on her face.

She is seen as difficult to work with by Rebecca, Ongina and Shannel, and the entirety of episode two is spent quite uncomfortably shutting Tammie Brown down - I am 99% confident had this episode aired today, the screams of bullying would be all over social media - and acting a diva whilst her team construct an (inevitably losing) performance. She struggled, really, to identify her own weaknesses. I think she's also the only contestant to be called an "asshole" by a judge (Frank Gatson).

She did however have the grace to recover from the first ever runway-fall with a little twirl. Did it stop her being sent home by Shannel? No it did not. But Akashia made Michelle Williams cry and in a way, that's better than any run on Drag Race.


Memorable quote(s): "Porkchop looked like a football field."
"Every competition needs a bitch and that bitch is me, and I'm happy with that. I tell it how it is and I'm fierce. "
Best Runway(s): I guess her third, even if it did sabotage her.
Best Moment(s): Pronouncing Mahmoud Ahmedinejad as "Moo-man A ham Jeeda. <3
Completely blanking her interview guests (Tori Spelling!!) and not even standing up for them <3
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Old 11-06-2018, 06:58 AM #61
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Akashia deserves better what an underrated goddess
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Old 11-06-2018, 12:08 PM #62
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akashia is way too low smh
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Old 11-06-2018, 12:57 PM #63
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yes i'm not really a fan of the messy queens that showed a crappy personality and have faded into obscurity since the show ended, sorry

I mean, name a good thing she did...
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Old 11-06-2018, 05:41 PM #64
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119th Place: Charlie Hides (Season 9) - finished 12th

Again, the general impression going into season nine was that Charlie Hides was a fan favourite who was soooooo funny on YouTube and would go really far.

Unfortunately, I already had seen enough of Charlie's videos and impressions to gauge that, uh, she really wasn't all that and I knew she'd struggle.

As the show's - to date - only British queen, Ms. Hides also has the honour of being the show's oldest. Even including the current ages of those on the show ten years ago, I think (someone MB you wanna check that?) But once the sight gag of a creaking '52' appeared in the premiere, the comedy was pretty much over for Charlie Hides.

This is actually the first instance where I feel I'm being overly harsh and she certainly performed better than the likes of, say, Serena Cha Cha or Honey Mahogany, but at the same time... there was such an overwhelming sense of "let-down" around her and she has so many negative aspects about her elimination and performance that I just think: nope. Get this bitch out now.

Miss Hides lasted four episodes with the premiere's non-elimination, and in those four episodes I can honestly say she didn't impress me or make me laugh any more times than a grand total of "once". That occasion? See my "best runway" segment. There are many who claim she was 'robbed' in the Princess challenge and should have had Valentina's spot in the top 3 but honestly? Valentina's "HATEFULLY ever after" was leagues ahead of Charlie's awkward "she's a cunning linguist you know, lol" Cockney accent. Didn't make me laugh, and the starry runway was just... eh Then there was her botched Boston pilgrim "hometown runway" reveal that probably would've landed her in the bottom two if a) there was one and b) her Gaga didn't save her.

She of course got injured during the disastrous (seriously, every time someone says an episode is the "worst of all time" I'm just going to shout "NOPE. CHEERLEADING." defiantly. What a stupid, stupid episode. The comedy didn't even work because you couldn't make out what they were saying smh) B52s challenge; she and several others sustained an injury that would go on to hinder her later performances. Was she eliminated for a physical weakness though? No. You'd have to imagine even Charlie without cracked ribs/diarrhoea/migraine/insomnia* wouldn't have been a match for Trinity's "I Wanna Go". And it was her cold, unfunny delivery in the Good Morning Bitches! news challenge that sent her home, stepping all over Cynthia's moments of humour and-THANKS VERY MUCH, IT'S TIME TO GO TO COMMERCIAL.

*delete excuses as appropriate.

AND FINALLY... WEL-well that's about all we have time for right now?


Memorable quote(s): "Could you shut up a second?"
Best Runway(s): Her white-party runway was breathtakingly good, tbf. And her Gaga was technically perfect, too, in the same sense that Farrah "won" the Madonna runway by wearing a carbon copy that drowns you out.
Best Moment(s): Her entrance look was cute <3 Telling Eureka she should've worn big earrings mildly made me laugh?
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Old 11-06-2018, 06:05 PM #65
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how embarrassing for us that Charlie is the only British queen to represent us so far
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Old 11-06-2018, 06:08 PM #66
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Yeah, I'm pretty sure Charlie is the oldest queen ever, despite the fact that Chad about to die

Speaking of which, Charlie sucked enough on the show as it is (I think the one time I managed to raise as much as a smirk was her Joan of Arc "great ideas, badly executed" read to... Aja? at the reunion, which, considering the things that Aja's gone on to do since compared to Charlie... lol), but she plummets to the nether regions of my personal rankings for three main reasons: this video, which is genuinely the least funny thing I've ever seen a Drag Race queen produce and that's saying something, her history of doing blackface and defending it, and generally being a bitter bitch on Twitter as of late while trying to pass it off as shade, coming for The Vixen and Shea on various occasions, which, considering my previous point, is not a good lerk whatsoever

Oh and the other day she got locked in a bathroom stall! #karma
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Old 11-06-2018, 06:10 PM #67
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(then again, I found out today that Charlie has the best toot/boot rate of all the season 9 queens, which means that Raven and Raja must have tooted that look where she wore her own name around her neck like some kind of confused senior citizen)
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Old 11-06-2018, 09:40 PM #68
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118th Place: Serena Cha Cha (Season 5) - finished 13th

Let's get one thing straight: the only reason she hasn't finished lower is because the two episodes of Untucked she was in were a SCREAM and even if it's because she was a messy victim of everyone's abuse, I don't care. Thank you for being that girl.

That said, none of the enjoyment of either episodes were down to her. Far from it, actually: her awkward deprecation of the word "ghetto" and calling all of the other girls uneducated and beneath her really rubbed me up the wrong way. Understandably, Detox and Coco too - although Monica, Roxxxy and Jade also got some solid jabs in before she eventually sashayed.

Serena entered the workroom claiming to be the future of drag and surrounded by some really exciting new movements in the world of drag. Movements like "body sculpture" which went... well...



She found herself in the bottom two in every episode she was in: a feat that had at the time only been set by Akashia (but has since been acheived...lots of times) and was eventually sent home for a lipsyncing challenge where she decided that Raja must cough a lot with the amount of powder on her face for the Marie Antoinette look. I don't know. It's all a mess.

I desperately miss the old Untucked. Whilst heavily edited, the cutaways to Ru going "OOOOOOOO NO SHE BETTER DON'T" when Serena dropped the "ghetto" bomb genuinely had me screaming. Monica shouting to the camera "I need my asthma pump." Ugh. It's honestly iconic.


Memorable quote(s): "I request the floor, ladies!"
Best Runway(s): n/a. Her 2nd was ok but ruined by the flag and, in turn, Kristen Johnston
Best Moment(s): Being called "itty bitty Serena" by Detox for screaming in the workroom, whilst Jinkx mumbles "that was...right next to my ear "


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Old 12-06-2018, 02:45 AM #69
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117th Place: Carmen Carrera (Season 3) - finished 5th (!?)

[size=2]I know I said earlier that there was no one on my list, who went past episode 7, until my 103rd queen but that's generally because every time I remember Carmen Carrera I am stunned that she made it as far as she did. Every time I would rewatch season 3 - and that's a lot because it's a fantastic season - I am honestly baffled each episode she is called 'safe'. As the first season to feature Michelle Visage, a fellow New Jersey girl, I can't help but feel a huge hometown bias helped keep Carmen in the game, and the decision to bring Carmen back when only one episode had passed after her first elimination is...probably the most inexplicable in the show's history.

I could, and am tempted to, break this down into an episode-by-episode account of why Carmen SUCKED but I'd be here all day. Let's stick to some highlights:

1) She survives a double-shantay with Yara Sofia. Not only this, but she's told to shantay first. Because she spent the lipsync walking over to the judges' table and kissing Johnny Weir and Santino!? Whilst Yara ripped her dress off and actually did cheerleading? [Kandy Ho wtf.mp3] All this for a PSA video challenge where the queens are told to send support to the troops overseas. Carmen spends her time dawdling and eventually walks off-set with time to spare. To me that's bad attitude. But eh.
2) Similarly walks away from Rita Rudner during the stand-up comedy challenge and manages to escape unscathed from any comments about unprofessionalism. Is safe this episode and actually delivers one of her best performances in the show (hell, the only good one).
3) Literally every runway being a variation on nudity and minimal sewing/creativity, and getting a free pass every single damn time. The only time it sends her home is when she attempts to transfer it onto her military makeover partner.
4) Completely invisible in every performance challenge: do you remember her in the QNN news task? Her workout routine? Drag Queens in Outer Space? Her J-Lo on Snatch Game? Her reggae version of 'Superstar'? No, didn't think so.
5) No better at the visual challenges - I've already mentioned the task she's sent home (a second time) for, but her Christmas runway is literally a red bikini with a sprig of mistletoe above her ass-cheeks. Her princess cake runway, one of the few times she's comparatively "dressed", is an ugly lime-green monstrosity with a mountain of tulle balanced on her shoulder. Her space-age couture is a giant ring of hair that's slowly ripping her scalp off

But even if you overlook her lacklustre performances, it's her personality that lands her this low for me. Season 3 is, of course, dominated by Heathers vs. Boogers drama and whilst I certainly don't believe Carmen to be the worst of the bunch (quite the opposite in fact: she's seen talking to Yara/Alexis a lot and even falls for Shangela's mindgames with the RuPaulapalooza challenge and begins to doubt Manila's friendship), her bitchy throwaway comments about other queens being "ugly" just smacked of entitled pretty-girl with no kindness. And then of course there's the off-show spat with RuPaul over the use of the "Oooh girl, you've got she-mail!" line every episode, despite her 'advocacy for trans rights' consisting of... 'look passing and you're ok'. And attacking miss TS Madison for "giving trans women a bad name" or some nonsense.

Like I've said before, she might not deserve to be this low... but it seems only fair given she wants to pretty much erase her history with the show now, and whilst she is indeed a beautiful model... there's really nothing else to her.


Memorable quote(s): "No foam here!"
Best Runway(s): Her USA Runway, where she channels Dita von Teese, by a mile.
Best Moment(s): Deciding that she needs to do a walk-on intro to her workout routine DVD, without any prompts from Ru <3
Bottoming for Raja in the Paula Abdul - Straight Up lipsync, whilst Alexis Mateo expresses disgust at the softcore porn <3
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Old 12-06-2018, 02:00 PM #70
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Charlie was such a disappointment tbh. Serena was forgettable aside from the Untucked moments and Carmen's a dick. All deserving of low placements.
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Old 12-06-2018, 02:16 PM #71
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Akashia: I respect Akashia for being the first person to fill the villain role on Drag Race and the fall/spin deserves its credit. In hindsight (and S1 is one of few seasons I haven't re-watched jsyk), she shies in comparison to other villains that had much better character development.

Charlie Hides: lol, I'd be lying if I said I didn't ironically enjoy Charlie. I remember when the S9 trailer came out and I repeated 'I have unnderweaaarr ollderr than her' a dozen times a day because I was obsessed with the way she said it. She was obviously a flop, but her awful lip-sync was genuinely one of the most compelling moments from last season. Her justification at the reunion was hilarious, too. Was it because of the broken hip? Diarrhoea? Who knows. I loved how ridiculous it was.

Serena Cha Cha: When I first watched S5, I remember feeling quite bad for Serena when the other queens ambushed her. I don't so much anymore. I mean, Drag Race is not the platform to let everyone know how educated you are. Literally, not one person (drag queen or fan) will care.

Awful runways, too. I know we've made fun of Roxxxy in this thread, but '...Except for Serena' will always be iconic.

Carmen Carrera: My thoughts on Carmen are complex. I think when I watched S3 for the first time, I liked Carmen by association because I enjoyed The Heathers—I liked The Boogers as well, which is a testament to how good S3 is. I understand why people dislike, but I still don't think she's as unlikable as people say. I think she was generally harmless and I kinda liked the Jersey persona, her presence was appreciated.

Now, it's kind of difficult to say how I feel about her. I do actually think the hate is overblown, but it is pompous to turn your back on the show that made you. I guess, she doesn't have to blow smoke Ru's arse if she doesn't want to (especially considering recent controversy), and other queens still seem to like and get on with her so she can't be all that bad.
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Old 12-06-2018, 05:40 PM #72
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116th Place: (Kylie) Sonique (Love) (Season 2) - finished 9th

*looks at the queen I've just preceded Sonique with*

I'm not transphobic, honest.

Sonique is the first queen on Drag Race to reveal that she is, in fact, a trans woman (during the reunion episode, which, for a season full of hateful comments Raven, was a welcome relief and a moment of sincere love and support). Thank god, in the nine years since this season was filmed, the Drag Race community has become so welcoming towards trans queens

That taboo topic aside, Sonique's performance on the show is best summarised with a brief shrug. An extremely acrobatic queen, she put in some skilled performances in the poledancing challenge in episode two, and the only lipsync she performed - against Morgan McMichaels, to Stacey Q's "Two of Hearts" - was pretty impressive; so impressive that it was one of the rare occasions where RuPaul had to be excused to make a decision rather than do it on the spot. This happened mostly in the early seasons though (Ongina vs. Bebe was a notable example), so perhaps they just edit that out now. She could've lasted longer, were it not for Morgan's incredibly tight choreography and miming of the words.

But the rest of her time on the show is ultimately forgettable: she did a terrible Lady Gaga snatch game, and was chastised by Tatianna (behind her back ) for being so dismissive of Mystique ("I almost feel sorry for her", after she'd been eliminated). She did seem a little bit catty and conceited, and I guess the show loves to send a full-of-herself bitch home quite early. Outside of the show, though, she seems genuinely beautiful and to have become a nicer person.


Memorable quote(s): "Don't call her your friend if you know that she looks like a hot Walmart mess!"
Best Runway(s): All of them were actually pretty good! Like none were 10/10, but her Gone with the Window was cute, and I liked her cheetah-catwoman outfit she went home in. Mask and all.
Best Moment(s): The awkward silence to her Snatch Game answers of tracks from 'The Fame' <3
Comparing Mystique to Holiday Heart <3
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Old 12-06-2018, 06:07 PM #73
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Old 13-06-2018, 03:59 AM #74
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115th Place: Lashauwn Beyond (Season 4) - finished 12th

Let me prefix this harsh ranking by saying the following: I am aware that Lashauwn is an incredibly talented seamstress and has designed dresses for more current girls that may often go unnoticed. Seriously, look at her Instagram. She is talented af.

The reason she ranks so low here though is of course the fact that she only lasted two episodes, and in both she was just a very demure, shy queen who never got her head in the game and just left all scenes she was in feeling very wishy-washy. She managed a high placing in her first episode, with her "post-apocalockic" world-on-her-head runway, but somehow managed to be read by Michelle at the same time. It was a warning that wasn't heeded, and her whispery wrestling performance sent her home over the Princess (that and taking her heels off before the lipsync even really began, which is a cardinal sin).

I'll keep this one brief though, because I would 100% be in support of Lashauwn returning if only for my fantasy of a "designs-only" season with the likes of Pearl, Kim, Mariah, Aquaria (if she doesn't win), Acid Betty, India Ferrah and Ivy Winters. Clears the way for All Stars to be about performance-based challenges, anyway. But yeah, I don't dislike Lashauwn but her performance on the show was just...quite bad.


Memorable quote(s): "Dida Ritz look a mess... with that dry-as wig and that awful-as makeup"
"THIS IS NOT RUPAUL'S BEST FRIEND RACE"
Best Runway(s): Not a runway but her entrance look was gorgeous but I did prefer her gumball-machine dress to her post-apocalyptic one.
Best Moment(s): Willam managing to drop a reference to Ferdinand Magellan about him <3
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Originally Posted by Saph View Post
You're giving me a million reasons about a million reasons

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Old 13-06-2018, 08:01 PM #75
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114th Place: Nicole Paige Brooks (Season 2) - finished 11th

It's still honestly SO weird to me that Season 2 had not one, but two contestants who actually have children: Tyra Sanchez, and Nicole Paige Brooks. I can't actually think of another one (that hasn't adopted, like Tempest DuJour) across all seasons.

Anyway, Nicole Paige Brooks from Atlanta... Georgia! There really wasn't much more to her tenure on the show beyond her introduction, other than feeling betrayed at the finale when she'd found out how Raven had talked behind her back. This might have been the setup for a VICIOUS attack from Tatianna that was skin-crawlingly awkward, but it's hard to say that Nicole played a vital role in this.

She was the first to enter, and I guess that means she has the original "workroom entrance" since season 1 was a weird just... "walk on from the side" affair. But that means it's been almost ten years since her oft-quoted entrance, and personally? I wouldn't be totally against her popping up on an Allstars perhaps one of those "underrated / early boot queens" seasons everyone keeps rooting for

I found it disheartening that Kim Chi would use her as a punchline 6 years later, let alone the fact that RuPaul laughed at it. This show has a pretty funny way of "supporting" its older queens


Memorable quote(s): bit obvious, this one
Best Runway(s): n/a
Best Moment(s): Having a photo of her drag mother disappear in the Workroom </3
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