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Saph · 14-06-2018, 11:52 AM

Nicole was low-key iconic

Braden · 14-06-2018, 07:24 PM

Sonique: I can definitely tell we're in the 'don't really care or have much to say' zone.

I can't remember much about Sonique, other than feeling sorry for her at the reunion. She had potential to be an amusing shady bitch, as we saw glimpses in Untucked (Holiday Heart, lmao). It never really came to fruition, though. She left at the right time.

Lashauwn Beyond: Another one who had potential, which never amounted to much. Mostly, I blame her early exit on that. S4 had some of my least favourite queens of all time (Kenya, Milan, Phi Phi (though, I've grown to appreciate her iconic villain status) and others who I really didn't care for (The Princess, Madame LaQueer, DiDa Ritz), so personally I wouldn't have minded seeing more of Lashauwn in place of one of those queens.

Nicole Paige Brookes from Atlanta, Georgia: She's legendary, purely for the tagline we all know her for. I dunno, I also think Nicole is quite underrated. I loved her random "scuse me, pardon me" while Shangela and Sahara were screaming at each other during the workroom entrances, lmao. Also, I love that she may still hold a bit of random resentment towards Raven, judging by this simple bit of shade (2:58). In addition, this (2:50).

Shaun · 14-06-2018, 08:33 PM

113th Place: Victoria 'Porkchop' Parker (Season 1) - finished last

Tf is she even eating there, is that bird seed?

So, the very first to sashay away. Despite all of the name drops at consequent finales and live tapings - not to mention a namedrop in Alaska's Allstars verse - Porkchop is not an iconic queen and her one episode of airtime was really pretty lacklustre. The show can extend an olive branch to one queen every now and then but this inconsistency with who they decide to boost post-show is a little bit strange: why Vanjie and Porkchop all the time? I'm sure Kelly Mantle and Phoenix could do with the airtime

Porkchop, though, is an enduring presence in the show and it should be noted that she has a history of winning pageants that, I think, is still happening to this day. Would I mind seeing her on the show again? Absolutely not. But that one episode consisted of her throwing mild shade towards Akashia and Rebecca Glasscock for their Dimestore looks, touching on how different drag was in the 80s with tales of being shot-at outside a nightclub, and saying she wouldn't mind if Bebe went home

Perhaps in a parallel universe, she did.

Since the show she's appeared on 'Botched'. She's also, uh... lipsyncing to Lil Kim's "How Many Licks". And J-Lo's "Dance Again. Girl has energy!

Memorable quote(s): "Ooh I like it, I like it! Slap me!"
Best Runway(s): n/a
Best Moment(s): Her facial reaction to the AS2 standup comedy challenge <3
Slaying Vanessa Hudgens in the heavily edited and biased lipsync on AS3 </3

Saph · 14-06-2018, 08:36 PM

mess we love porkchop

Braden · 14-06-2018, 08:43 PM

I had to post it since you mentioned it. Also, Porkchop follows me on Twitter so I feel obligated to like her. Seriously, I do appreciate Porkchop as the first queen to sashay away. It felt right. She's vibrant and different to a lot of queens we see on the show, especially nowadays.

Braden · 14-06-2018, 08:51 PM

Okay, this is nice and all, but Pearl needs to ****.

Tom4784 · 14-06-2018, 10:39 PM

Porkchop </3

Shaun · 15-06-2018, 02:15 AM

112th Place: Phoenix (Season 3) - finished 12th

OK so when I was compiling this list I actually started at the bottom, deciding who was the worst, and who's kinda forgettable and bland... and I can honestly say, hand on heart, that placing these two queens side by side was a complete coincidence and not just a shallow excuse to use the iconic GIF above. Of course, I am absolutely SHOOK and cackling at this coincidence, but that is all it is.

Phoenix finishes below India for a whole bunch of reasons: she was eliminated before her anyway, her entrance makeup is slightly messier, and she isn't quite as celebrated today by other graduates of the show. Phoenix's two episodes in season three saw her deliver possibly the worst acting performance of all time (but, oddly, looked EXACTLY like Emily Blunt if she had mumps?), and snatch poor Venus D'Lite's idea to crush up baubles and use the glass to decorate her jacket. The difference here, though, is that Phoenix's looked good.

Memorable quote(s): "India's very painted, she's very like... old school kind of drag. Which is cool to see, like, that kind of drag still... amongst us... so...

"
"I just broke my Christian Dior sunglasses doing this, I better win this ****! Ugh!"
Best Runway(s): Her Christmas runway is cute!
Best Moment(s): n/a tbh? I always found it funny she was sent home for copying Gaga's moves to 'Bad Romance' when Delta just... fistpumped?

-----------------------------------------------

111th Place: India Ferrah (Season 3) - finished 10th

Managing two more episodes than her doppelganger, and surviving a mauling by Miss Mimi Imfurst in the process, India falls out of my ranking with quite a crash, and one that I'm not particularly comfortable with because the general consensus among the drag community is that India is one of the most polished, the most creative and best showgirls around. So I'd really be happy to see India pop up on an Allstars. But her time on season three was just a little bit invisible, really.

She was in the bottom two twice, being sent home by Stacy Layne Matthews to "Meeting in the Ladies Room" by Klymaxx (a very underrated lipsync tbh, both do very well and Stacy's aggressive "DON'T. SLAP. ME. COS I'M NOT IN THE MOOD." is a scream). I think I will have the moment she pushes Mimi away, once she's dropped, flash before my eyes as I die, as well. So I guess India was involved in two semi-iconic lipsyncs.

But my lasting impression of India on the show was her Weathergirl report: the awkward crack in her voice when she warns us about a "HAIIIIIL-no storm"

and disastrous attempts at injecting a southern twang. Up against Yara on the other team, who was screaming about her ass being on fire, she just stood no chance

Like I said, though, right now her drag is hella good and she always delivers a LOOK at the reunions and finales.

Oh and of course, the season 8 finale where she is escorted out of the theatre by Mimi, so Porkchop can have a seat, is a SCREAM <3

Memorable quote(s): "Prison, honey."
"I look over and Mimi puts on this headpiece and... I think she looks like Uncle Fester from the Addams Family, honestly."
"GET HER OFF ME"
Best Runway(s): All were pretty good but I'd go with her dominatrix-ringmaster thing in episode 3. Billy B hated it, and he had no taste, so it's a win-win.
Best Moment(s): She gave a lot of perfect stink-faces, notably in response to Mimi giving her an "I was picked up by Mimi Imfurst..." t-shirt at the reunion <3

Tom4784 · 16-06-2018, 09:48 PM

Both are justified placements tbh. Phoenix is forgettable and India only came into her own after the show.

Shaun · 16-06-2018, 11:08 PM

110th Place: Honey Mahogany (Season 5) - finished joint 10th

Another queen who has perhaps finished far higher than she deserves to in this ranking based on how much she's #Glowedup since her season, Honey spent most of her workroom and talking heads segments defending herself and saying how in San Francisco "the look doesn't matter"; attempting to justify her Kaftan collection on the runway.

Unfortunately for Honey, performance did matter and although she delivered a brilliant spoken lipsync as Mystique Summers Madison in the second main challenge, she was pretty stiff and wooden during the rest. Her kids TV character was mildly fun but lumbered with a disastrous performance from Coco Montrese that meant she got dragged down to the bottom with it, but it was her awkward Diana Ross impression in the ballet challenge that landed her in the bottom two with Vivienne.

As the far nicer and more congenial of the two to double-sashay, I do have a soft spot for Honey Mahogany and she's another queen that falls into my "queens I'd like to see return, one day" category, but if we're to base this rankdown largely on their original seasons then yeah, Honey Mahogany is not a top-100 queen.

In her defense: she seems one of the most politically active and #woke queens the show has churned out, so props to her for that

Memorable quote(s): n/a

Best Runway(s): n/a but her entrance look is pretty killer! Even if it gets read straight away.
Best Moment(s): "Honey dances like a white chick! That was... interesting

" - Jinkx <3
Unveiling a brand new look at the reunion that was a bit of a mess because of her ridiculous hair <3

RileyH · 16-06-2018, 11:10 PM

Queen of Kaftans

Shaun · 18-06-2018, 01:24 PM

109th Place: Kalorie Karbdashian Williams (Season 10) - finished 13th

This is where the eliminations start to hurt, or I've been extremely spiteful and placed them far lower than anyone else would </3 Kalorie falls into the former category, because, as with most early eliminations this season, her exit was heartbreaking. Not undeserved, but her tears - and indeed the tears from Asia and others - were pretty hard to take.

Kalorie entered the season pretty much everyone's surefire bet to be the first to sashay away, and I'm sure most viewers would rather she had instead of Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, but let's not lie America: facts are facts. Kalorie assassinated her the second she ripped money from her titties and made it rain. Unfortunately for her, she tanked her first performance-based challenge in the PharmaRusical but I can't help but wonder if she was screwed over a little with favourable choreography for the other girls (a la everyone bar Thorgy in AS3)

A friend of pretty much all the other girls, she probably would've gone on to piss more fans off if she'd stayed because of her workroom entrances with Eureka; but she at least got to exit with a pretty good reception AND a lipsync that wasn't totally embarrassing. Kalorie is adorable, and I hope she has a bright future ahead of her

I just can't justify putting her any higher in this list.

Memorable quote(s): "Calories are friends. And food.

"
"She [Monet] looked like a Flintstone with sponges. Yaba-daba-don't."
Best Runway(s): Definitely her 'best drag' look, even if it was entirely basic compared to the other girls. It was pretty.
Best Moment(s): Coming for Monet and Vixen in Untucked ep. 1 took some balls <3

Tom4784 · 18-06-2018, 02:17 PM

I just didn't care for her at all tbh.

Moniqua · 18-06-2018, 02:54 PM

her mug is SO underrated

RileyH · 18-06-2018, 03:10 PM

kalorie was just there

Shaun · 20-06-2018, 04:06 AM

108th Place: Monica Beverly Hillz (Season 5) - finished 12th

For someone with such a brief amalgamation of pretty shoddy runway looks, Monica sure could stomp for the gods and had crazily good legs, before Ms. Smalls came and monopolised them.

Monica lasted three episodes and sadly her only really memorable moment - aside from her laughs during THAT episode of Untucked - is her tearfully revealing her trans status as explanation as to why she wasn't able to compete with her head in the game. In the two performances she delivered, she landed in the bottom two (first for a lacklustre Jiggly Caliente; second for a disastrous inability to remember her lines in the Kids TV challenge despite them being in her lap) and you can't really argue with that. She ended up being the first of many victims of Coco Montrese's lipsyncs.

A quick glance of her Instagram page tells me she's pretty solidly booked all of the time and has glowed up a lot since her Drag Race days, which is nice!

Memorable quote(s): "I was ready to pick up that table and bash her head with it. She's lucky I signed a contract..."
Best Runway(s): None were great but her first episode outfit was cute, even if it completely missed the point of the challenge (a Hollywood runway).
Best Moment(s): Absolutely murdering Serena Cha Cha.

Shaun · 21-06-2018, 08:26 PM

107th Place: Mystique Summers Madison (Season 2) - finished 10th

Another queen who has really started to shine after a slightly messy season, Mystique is now a slimmer, more confident drag queen and exactly the sort of person I'd like to see get a redemption - if you are of the camp that thinks her Season 2 showing was disastrous, of course. The first season with Untucked means Mystique was also essentially involved in the first ever Untucked fight - with Morgan - spawning the show's first ever catchphrase: "BITCH I AM FROM CHICAGO".

Her anger and frustration with the other queens was largely justified; the Raven clique (Sonique, Morgan) and indeed the neutrals (Tyra, Sahara) seemed to look down on Mystique with every opportunity, and it was only Tatianna that seemed to defend her - and indeed would pick up the nitpicking from the more 'polished' queens after Mystique's departure.

In the performances, Mystique killed the poledancing challenge with her signature splits, but otherwise struggled. Her curtains dress in the first episode was unarguably the worst of the lot, and the fact she was saved for doing a spinning split on her way back offstage is honestly baffling to me (but hey, it meant we got a KILLER lipsync with Shangela/Sahara). It would come back to haunt her though, when she was eventually sent home for wearing a random purple blouse in the "country" runway (because she "didn't want to offend her friends back home" in Texas) despite not being as bad in the challenge as, say, Raven and Sonique.

Raven's "I Hear You Knocking" is a very underrated lipsync and ultimately sent Mystique home, and whilst Mystique delivered a handful of iconic moments, she ultimately tanked at Drag Race and thus fails to make my top 100.

Youtube video

Memorable quote(s): "You piss me off some more, I will WHOOP YOUR ****ING ASS. BITCH, I AM FROM CHICAGO."
"SWEETIE. Guess what? You're not worth it, lemme walk off."
"I do not want this tape of me crying

I do not."
"I'M TRYING TO ****ING EXPLAIN MYSELF WILL PEOPLE JUST SHUT THE **** UP

"
Best Runway(s): Her second one was the only good one, so...
Best Moment(s): Pandora's "hahahahahahaha what the **** is that?" when confronted with Mystique's photoshopped baby picture for a later challenge because she lost all her family photos in a fire <3 (I use <3 in the most loving way, of course)

Tom4784 · 25-06-2018, 02:07 PM

I can't even remember Monica tbh but I remember liking Mystique </3

MB. · 26-06-2018, 11:52 AM

Mystique inventing wearing the exact same thing you wore in the challenge on the runway <3 Chi Chi could never

On the subject of ranking, I used the rpdrsorter on Tumblr as a semi-accurate way of finding out what my overall opinions are, and I get the feeling that your list isn't going to look much like mine:

Spoiler:

Saph · 26-06-2018, 11:59 AM

Kalorie was a good queen she was just a little too unpolished compared with most of the other girls on season 10

Shaun · 27-06-2018, 01:47 AM

I am prepared for the outrage, but at the same time I am as uninterested in it as I was in her!

106th Place: Kimora Blac (Season 9) - finished 13th

The rumours that Kimora Blac may be in Allstars 4 further baffle me. Her status as one of season nine's more popular/memey queens also baffles me. Kimora lasted ~~two~~ three episodes and whilst she dominated the talking heads, it was for... largely vapid and nasty reasons? Saying Jaymes was a 1 and she was a 10, whining "nobody cares" about Aja's wardrobe, not knowing how to sew, complaining about the challenges, and coming for Miss Cucu after 10 damn minutes!

She got confused in Untucked about whether or not she had had plastic surgery, she wore the worst White Party and Lady GaGa runways (bar, perhaps, Valentina and her shake'n'go wig), she delivered one of the show's most sinisterly creepy characters in Funky Monkey, and she just never really got a chance to showcase anything...um...good?

She's just... incredibly dumb and there's absolutely nothing about her that interests me. She cannot hold a conversation. I get that I've been trying to find positives in every queen I've highlighted thus far, but with Kimora the status that she's gained as this hilarious scene-stealer in season 9 is just wildly inaccurate. She could grow in the future, sure, but she's a recent elimination and that's it, really.

Memorable quote(s): "What's an adjetive? [sic]", "What are bloomers?", etc. etc. Truly the Brian Belo of Drag Race

Best Runway(s): I actually really liked Princess Banana Lady! She should've been safe for that outfit over Farrah/Shea tbh.
Best Moment(s): The judges' extremely mild laughter when she sashays saying "I'm pretty!

"

Shaun · 28-06-2018, 03:22 AM

105th Place: Kenya Michaels (Season 4) - finished 9th / "5th"

My most-liked comment on the Drag Race reddit was in a general "unresolved Drag Race mysteries" topic, and it was this: what on earth happened between Kenya Michaels leaving everyone a letter in Untucked that supposedly tore everyone bar Phi Phi to shreds, and her being welcomed back to the top five with open arms and literally no hostility whatsoever? Seriously:
- She said Jiggly should've gone home week one and that this wasn't a school, but a competition.
- Said Dida should burn a dress when she gets home
- Said Sharon won't go far because she can't walk in heels
- And accused Willam of wearing clothes from... *gulp* Forever 21.

Now, I've seen lots of people say this was just entirely fabricated by the producers for drama but I can't really see how they'd get away with putting it all on a queen that was about to be brought right back

From the moment she stepped in, everyone clocked Kenya Michaels as the one to beat: most notably resident judge Billy B, in what would be one of his last ill-advised judgments before crawling back under the ugly rock he came from. Other judge Mike Ruiz, however, clocked her for making a weird air-gulping face with every single take of her photo shoot. This is but a small example of the things I found utterly bewildering - and not in a good way - about Lil' Kenya Michaels.

She was immediately derogatory about her Puerto Rican sister, Madame Laqueer, famously rejecting her high-five in the Glamazons vs. Champions TV commercial challenge and later quipping that "Puerto Rico is embarrassed by Madame LaQueer". How many challenges did you win, again, Kenya?

Then, of course, there was her Snatch Game. Of course, it's now almost a tradition for someone to deliver a terrible Beyonce impression, but I am quite resolute in saying that Kenya's was the dirt-WORST. At least Tyra played with Sahara's Whitney and Tati's Britney, and Asia managed to get the Vixen to shut up ~~for a second it's time to go to commercial~~. Falling off her chair, farting, and shouting I'M A SURVIVOR. I'M A SURVIVOR. Girl.

Perhaps smaller gripes I have with Kenya:
- She managed a "high" placement in the aforementioned TV commercial challenge despite the fact that she literally looks to the camera, breaks character, and laughs with RuPaul IN IT.

- She is one of many COMPLETELY WASTED returning queen twists who immediately got obliterated by a fan favourite. Michelle Visage made some god-damn terrible decisions with this twist. (For the record, I'd have brought back Laqueer or Milan over her).
- The fact she wasn't bottom two for her "butch prison guard", even if she was miscast. That supercut of her hand-claps and inability to follow a cue were infinitely worse than Madame's EWWWWWWWs.

I appreciate that the language barrier for Kenya was massive and I cringe whenever Ru and the other girls reduce the latino queens to random catchphrases and stereotypes (ie. shout "ESCANDALO!" every three minutes), but with Kenya I just got the impression that the only thing that didn't need translating with her was her total lack of star-power and decent personality.

Memorable quote(s): "MAMA ES NAWWWWWWT... WHATCHU SAY. ES WHAT. CHU. DO."
"HMM.... I KINDA LIKE.... THIS SMELL.

"
Best Runway(s): Whatever theme this was.
Best Moment(s): Chiming in with "JESUS IS A BIS-KWIT..." after a moment's silence following the legendary AT LEAST I AM A SHOWGIRL, BITCH argument.
Also... her WTF Wrestling challenge was pretty stellar.