[ethanjames]

yes cant stand pearl

[Saph]

"Did I read? Absolutely. Did I talk ****? Absolutely."

this line is so iconic its stuck with me since I first heard her say it back in 2011

[Black Dagger]

Enjoyed Big Ang. One of my favourite snatch performances but she she trash.

[Shaun]

Been away all week again, sorry!*

96th Place: Sasha Belle (Season 7) - finished 13th

Just as a run-on from the previous ranking, may I add how pissed off I was by Pearl's toxic narcissism? Calling Sasha "John Goodman in a wig" after episode one was just ridiculously childish and ugh I'm glad I've thrown her out early now. BORING COW.

Sadly, Sasha wasn't much more exciting. One of the tropes of reality TV is casting someone who professes liberally about how they've "cracked the code" and know what it takes to win, only for the cards to fall drastically against them. Sasha is the immediate example of this, to me: she came in as a self-proclaimed superfan but then wore a visible black bra in a sewing challenge to look naked

Remarkably, Sasha avoided the bottom two that first week because Kandy Ho had resurrected the spirit of Willam on her face - but there was no saving her in episodde two.... even though the only thing she really did wrong was struggle to take off a hairclip during that Glamazonian Airways challenge. Were it not for one of the weirdest and ill-fitting runway choices of all time, she could just as easily have escaped scrutiny here again.

You might be asking how she's lasted so long in this rankdown, and NO, the answer isn't: because he looks like this out of drag, now. The answer is this very small, split second moment of the conjoined-twins challenge lipsync. In an episode where Ginger audibly expressed her discontent with being paired up with Sasha, despite all of Sasha's adoration towards her </3 there came one brief, iconic lipsync moment that saved Ginger's disastrous titties from herself.

Youtube video

Said moment is at 1:20 here. That pussy pounding the floor whilst Ginger cuddles her pillow <3 ugh. A lipsync gem.

Memorable quote(s): "How can you say I was basic? I wore a...lobster dress "
Best Runway(s): I guess it'd have to be the Lobster Dress.
Best Moment(s): Writing "Ginger for the win!" after she was eliminated <3 a queen with taste

*not really remotely sorry, since I owe you nobodies nothing

[RileyH]

Pearl is a legend and should NOT be below Sasha ****ing Belle

[Saph]

not sasha belle isnt she trying to be a male model now

[Shaun]

95th Place: Gia Gunn (Season 6) - finished 9th

There's going to be a run now of queens whose low placements are, perhaps rightly, going to upset many of you - but when compiling this I guess I prioritised likeable people and underdogs over queens that were overbearing and extremely nasty on the show. Gia Gunn is absolutely one of the latter, and her prejudices towards Milk and Darienne Lake left an extremely sour taste in my mouth.

I know for a fact that she's matured and enlightened herself since season 6 and is now a far more tolerant/open person and has a good rapport with a bunch of established queens, but...

Spoiler:

Until we see her on AllStars 4, I don't have much evidence to prove that!

Gia's short stay on the show was summarised by playing second fiddle to Hurricane Laganja, calling themselves Team Too Much. Together they dominated the drama of the season, and Gia's talking heads varied between genuinely hilarious and skin-crawlingly awkward and lacking in self-awareness. The original Kimora Blac, Gia fumbled some not-all-that-obscure references ("What's a Tony?", "What's a DeLorean?") and could've settled nicely into the loveable dumb girl role if:

a) Joslyn Fox wasn't also in the cast
b) She wasn't so unpleasant.

Her coming for Milk might not look so bad now that Milk's shown her true colours in Allstars 3, but there was just this really acidic way with which Gia attacked her. Her exit, turning to the other queens and saying "You guys are all still dudes", and then the credits interview where she said "I'm upset that there's other crossdressers still in there that came to a drag show dressed as boys" was just... not good. At all. The show has put up with a ton of queens complaining about how to drag correctly and putting themselves in boxes that leave absolutely no room for creativity, but to my knowledge, Gia was the absolute worst for this and was in desperate need of someone to smack her and open her eyes. Thankfully, Joslyn did this in Untucked, calling her ignorant.

All of this aside, I am fully prepared to embrace Gia as an Allstar if she continues with her knack for a good soundbite and ditches the superficial bitchiness.

Memorable quote(s): "This is the Olympics of drag, honey, and ****'s getting gaggy."
"I don't jump guns, I am the boom boom gun, honey."
"I'm feeling my oats! Let me feel my oats!"
"Feeling like pussy, feeling like **** x2"
"How is she, though?"
Best Runway(s): I didn't actually love any of them but this was probably the best one: http://i.imgur.com/k9yhTHv.png
Best Moment(s): "I didn't quite cough like a man, but ok."

[Headie]

Lol I love Gia, I found her hilarious <3

[Shaun]

94th Place: Milan (Season 4) - finished 9th

I feel like when a queen ends her introduction on the premiere of a new season with "...and you don't want it from her!" you're probably setting yourself up to prove a point.

Milan entered with the token broadway campy music accompanying her, and sure enough ran right off the bat with a bunch of quips about how she couldn't be pigeon-holed, and her talents and inspirations were sooooo far-reaching and different. Her pretense got her wrapped up in all sorts of problems: despite being one of the few season four girls with acting experience, she bombed at the Tuckahoe sitcom challenge and had to send Madame LaQueer home. Despite being from the political, woke side of New York drag, she failed to resonate with the message of Stonewall during the Hope Floats challenge and ended up being sent packing by Jiggly. And despite her supposed savvy intellect, she tried dressing up as Whitney Houston to advertise a CD by...RuPaul.

I suppose - whilst not all that bad and actually quite good TV - my biggest gripe with Milan is that she tried too damn hard to be extra and steal scenes. Her interactions on Untucked were particularly embarrassing and often resulted in her having her ass handed to her: most notably by Willam in this iconic moment:

Youtube video

"Is the carpet comfortable?" ugh. Queen.

She seems to have disappeared from the drag race circuit despite being one of the more memorable names from a big, fan favourite season... and having looked at her Facebook there were some weird pretentious ramblings a few years ago about being unappreciated and disrespected, that it's all just... vague and tiring. So that's why Milan drops out early.

Memorable quote(s): "Coloured girl: why your base look like chalk?"
Best Runway(s): Her only bad one, really, was her Hope Floats one. I would personally argue that [url=http://i.imgur.com/vRME2tQ.png]this was one of the absolute best RuPocalypse runways and should 100% have been in the top 3. But no, Lashauwn shoved a globe on her head and Princess wore something too clean so they deserved the top placings... despite still being read by Michelle. I guess. Phi Phi, Milan, Sharon = the correct top 3 that week IJS.
Best Moment(s): She sent home Kenya Michaels, so thank you? In fact that Milan/Kenya lipsync is super underrated. Both killed it.

[MB.]

"Coloured girl: why your base look like chalk?"

Milan was... born this way... she was born-she was born this way!

[Saph]

Milan was probably one of the worst queens ever.. the way she used to pull her wig off every lip sync

[ethanjames]

I loved gia smh

[Shaun]

93rd Place: Naysha Lopez (Season 8) - finished 9th

Naysha is one of many, many queens that I have a strong recollection of their elimination being unjust. Naysha, of course, encountered two - but one of them was fair enough. The first one, obviously.

That RECTANGLE GIRLS OF THE WORLD... challenge was a mess from start to finish: Bob the Drag Queen slagged off Lorde and fought with Lucian Piane (the final tipping point into his drug-addled Nazism?), a team won for calling each other kinds of mustard, and none of them were Thorgy, and the bloke from Blondie (correctly) read a queen for wearing the same shoes during the challenge and runway. I did actually love this episode because it redeemed Robbie Turner fully, and had a brilliant runway (plus 2/3 of the teams did good) but I can't wrap my head around the justification for Naysha leaving for it.

Her runway, in particular, that episode is criminally underrated and one of the - if not THE - best bodysuits ever seen on the show, and the lipsync itself seemed to act as a counterpoint to Ru's decision to send Sonique home over Morgan McMichaels back in season two; back then a queen just did flips and cartwheels and didn't concentrate much on the actual lipsync, and got sent home for it. This time she survived Perhaps if Naysha's wig hadn't fallen off, she could've survived.... but one would imagine she was primarily eliminated because she didn't offer as much drama as Derrick and Chi Chi.

The one episode where Naysha was safe, she served up a chilling premonition of Bebe Zahara Benet's Drag Up Your Life verse in the RuCo's Empire challenge, and otherwise did a pretty good job of proving herself to be likeable and polished. Indeed, her departure (the 2nd one) saw her leaving two items of clothing for Chi Chi to use, which is one of those rare genuine good-gestures that the show thrives off of. Naysha's a sweetheart and I'm a big fan of hers, but I couldn't justify her finishing much higher based on the show's performance.

Memorable quote(s): Kim Chi: "What about you, Naysha? What's your type?" Naysha: "Men."
Best Runway(s): 100% her Neon Runway, but her Roller-Girl was gorgeous, too.
Best Moment(s):

[Shaun]

92nd Place: Kelly Mantle (Season 6) - finished joint 13th

I already regret placing her higher than Naysha/Gia to be honest but the interviews and paraphernalia that I've seen of Kelly off-show just about edged her ahead whenever it was that I arbitrarily decided the order of this rankdown.

Kelly entered season 6 as some fans' tip to win, and her talking heads/pre-season interviews, where she threw shade at friend and acting colleague Willam, certainly helped to create an image of Kelly Mantle being a frontrunner... but sadly, show production antics meant that she was placed under a closer microscope than any other set of first-episode queens. Splitting the 14 into two groups of seven meant that Season 6 is the only season where we technically have two queens that finished joint-last (although I suppose season 8 does, too, thanks to Naysha's return) - and it also meant that "nobody could fade into the background". To me, that just sounds like "we want to edit out the boring ones ASAP" and Kelly didn't quite have the OTT energy that her episode's cohorts Gia, Laganja, Vivacious and Adore did (despite Kelly putting together a dress that was more constructed than all of theirs )

The only crime Kelly made was bringing that horrific red wig she decided to pair with her Downton Abbey bacon dress. Truly a Party City nightmare. Otherwise, she was pretty much an underwhelming delight; perhaps best explained by this clip:

Youtube video

Off the show she made history by becoming the first ever actor to be considered by the Oscars for both "actor" and "actress" categories in 2014's "Confessions of a Womanizer" (which also starred Gary Busey and the Bella twins from WWE so... make your own minds up as to how likely that nomination would've been).

Memorable quote(s): "I'm an actor, but I'm not going to go around reciting my IMDB page like some people."
Best Runway(s): n/a
Best Moment(s): Offering to school Magnolia Crawford at the reunion.

[ethanjames]

love HER

[Shaun]

91st Place: Naomi Smalls (Season 8) - finished 3rd

She's a pair of legs and not much else. I will be forever bitter that she stole Chi Chi's final spot for no damn reason, I will be forever bitter that she sent Acid Betty home by rolling around on the stage doing the bare minimum, and I will forever be bitter that she is one of the fan favourites for....no reason.

OK so let's get her good points out of the way: she won the Wizard of Oz makeover challenge and rightly so, but can you remember her competition? Literally everyone else performed poorly that challenge bar Thorgy (who by then, the judges had it on for) and Kim (who ruined it with some weird "trading of the brooms" choreo). Outside of that ONE win, I actually enjoyed her performance in the Shady Politics challenge and she did a great job of reading Kim, however ruined it again by literally wearing the same outfit a queen has worn before (Raven's sort-of upside down cone thing).

She also absolutely destroyed Derrick Barry in the workroom:

Youtube video

However I guess the main reason I'm ejecting her this early - aside from the fact she was really one-note and has a very shallow and uninteresting approach to modeling and fashion - was her tweet she made in response to the attack on the MEN arena last year with the Ariana Grande concert.



Sorry... she could be amazing on a future Allstars but I just can't look past how dumb and, sheerly vapid and assholey that was. It's up there with Paris Hilton's "stop being poor" t-shirt, to me. So yeah, **** off Naomi.

Also: the MUG webseries was boring af.

Memorable quote(s): "And Derrick has thin... hair. "
Best Runway(s): 100% her Book Ball eleganza look.
Best Moment(s): Her family (and mom in particular) were adorable.

[Captain.Remy]

Naomi vs Derrick really is memorable thanks to Bob acting like a fool in the background, otherwise it would have been lame. But yeah, Naomi crucified Derrick.

[Shaun]

90th Place: Farrah Moan (Season 9) - finished 8th

Another placing I feel kinda bad about is Farrah, but at the same time I really didn't care for her on season 9 so it feels...right. Whilst season eight had a Britney lookalike going too damn far whilst doing nothing of note, season nine had the Xtina one - and I think introducing Farrah to her celeb counterpart in an unseen Season 10 moment is perhaps the first time I've actually felt something whilst Farrah was on screen.

That's probably a bit harsh. She was pretty messy and lowkey iconic during the S9 Reunion with her Valentina drama, and she managed to get in a couple of jokes that redeemed her disastrous Roast appearance, but otherwise...? Her best challenge performance was probably the 9021Ho performance, and even then she fluffed her lines a few times.

I think every season there's just a pretty girl who's rather inconsequential, and no matter how they tried to make Farrah cute by telling us how her whining was sweet (IT WAS JUST ANNOYING, THANKS), I was left waiting for her to go home.

In Farrah's defence, she is exceptionally beautiful and polished and must have some talent to be in Vegas, but we just didn't get much of a taste for it in S9.

Memorable quote(s): "I find it hilarious that Michelle Visage judges a talent competition. I don't know about you but don't you actually have to have talent, to do that? And I'm pretty sure having one song in the 90s that no one even remembers doesn't qualify you to be a judge on such a big TV show. Good thing she's been sucking RuPaul's dick for so long." mighta been a roast but points were made
Best Runway(s): Her naughty nighties for sure, although the White Party comes close.
Best Moment(s): Obviously the guttural noise she made when Eureka was sent home for being "too crippled" (RuPaul's words, obvi)

[RileyH]

WHAT

[RileyH]

Farrah deserves better

[Black Dagger]

She doesn't.

[Tom4784]

I live for Kelly's Vivacious impression.

I just don't care for Naomi.

I have a soft spot for Farrah tbh, she was terrible on the show admittedly but I thought she was likable.

[Headie]

"Lets get this roast a cookin'! " always makes me scream, like she really thought she was gonna have everyone on the floor dying after that one opening line

Farrah dragging that homophobic geordie slag in a kebab shop is about the only good thing she's done tho <3

[Shaun]

She is lovely yeah, and I do like her, but she sucked on S9 and should've gone home sooner (she did worse than Kimora for the Princess challenge, I think, and would've been slain by Aja in the Holding Out for a Hero lipsync)

[ethanjames]

farrah way too low