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Old 13-03-2019, 08:48 PM #1
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Default TiBB On Ice 3 - Show One - First Impressions! JERSEY OUT

Hello and welcome to TiBB On Ice 3!

It was only a week ago when you crowned Morgan and Perri your winners, but tonight 11 new couples skate for your votes, let’s meet them!

Alf and Jorgie Porter
Black Dagger and Laura Hamilton
Cal Louise and Roxanne Pallett
Danielle-X and Danniella Westbrook
DrunkerThanMoses and Pamela Anderson
Elliot and Gary Lucy
JerseyWins and Corey Feldman
Liam and Kerry Katona
Montblanc and Richard Blackwood
Tony Montana and Kem Cetinay
Wojtek and Gemma Bissix

Let’s start the show with Black Dagger and Laura Hamilton!
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Old 13-03-2019, 08:50 PM #2
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Black Dagger and Laura
Left My Heart In Tokyo by Mini Viva

Ant 7
Riley 6.5
Morgan 2
Luke 3
Ross 7
Niamh 7

Total 32.5

Luke - This performance was all over the place, out of sync and the techniques were crap.

Riley - Wow you really came to slay these bitches didn't you? That was sublime! It reminded me of that time I destroyed cock in Tokyo, they really stole my heart (and my virginity!) Next week I want you to top this, there's no going down now sweetie!

Ross - Is this show ONE? Everyone else can just go home you just stole the show!

Let’s hope his scores get better! Up next hoping to do better is Cal Louise and Roxanne Pallett!
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Old 13-03-2019, 08:52 PM #3
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Cal Louise and Roxanne
Fight Song by Rachel Platten

Ant 3
Riley 3.5
Morgan 5.5
Luke 6
Ross 3
Niamh 6.5

Total 28

Luke - Wonderful, stunning,never seen before and iconic! A great first performance and some technique

Riley - Zzzz. Sorry did I fall asleep? No it's not from exhaustion having to be a fake bitch on TV, it was from this incredibly boring performance. If this was a save me skate, I would have got it, but I don't know why you are fighting in the first week? Just have fun and don't take it so seriously.

Ant - The **** you fighting for? It's round ****ing one! Tryhard. This would be a poetic if not cliche choice at the end of the series when we had seen your journey and story and progression. Right now you've defined your "fight" with an inexperienced skate. It's first impressions week. And my impression is that you're desperate for the sympathy vote and have A LOT to learn. Submit a Britney Spears song next time you fraught bitch!

Let’s hope the public vote Cal to fight in week 2! Hoping to do better is Wojtek and Gemma Bissix!
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Old 13-03-2019, 08:53 PM #4
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Wojtek and Gemma
You Spin Me around by Dead or Alive

Ant 6
Riley 6.5
Morgan 8.5
Luke 4
Ross 7.5
Niamh 8

Total 40.5

Riley - I love a bit of disco, I think Pete would be proud! This competition needs to watch out, because here you come!

Ant - don't know if I marked you higher or lower than I was intending to after seeing that failed headbanger! Save it for mid-series art the very least deary.

Niamh - A classic, great performance

Ross - Not a HEADBANGER in week one! We love the WINNER! The other judges are cancelled if they don’t score this highly


40.5 in week one for Wojtek! We love a dancing queen!

Next up is DrunkerThanMoses with his professional Pamela Anderson!
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Old 13-03-2019, 08:55 PM #5
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A 2? A ****ing 2. I've not been eating Chinese with Laura all week for a 2.
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Old 13-03-2019, 08:55 PM #6
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DrunkerThanMoses and Pamela
I’ll Be Ready by Sunblock

Ant 2.5
Riley 5
Morgan 3
Luke 6
Ross 2.5
Niamh 7.5

Total 26.5

Morgan - If only they invented a version of sunblock to protect me from the most irritating, cheeses and cringey skates of TiBB on Ice.

Riley - I was really worried for you darling at the beginning when I heard the song I thought it was going to be a DISASTER and to be honest, it kind of was, but I love the ambition in this fast paced number.

Niamh - Great first song, bursting out like a life guard to save the day, excellent choice

We love boxercise! Next up is Elliot and Gary Lucy!
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Old 13-03-2019, 08:56 PM #7
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A 2? A ****ing 2. I've not been eating Chinese with Laura all week for a 2.
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Old 13-03-2019, 08:56 PM #8
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poor cal got dragged
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Old 13-03-2019, 08:57 PM #9
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Elliot and Gary
Your Type by Carly Rae Jepsen

Ant 4.5
Riley 4.5
Morgan 4.5
Luke 5.5
Ross 6
Niamh 7

Total - 32

Ant - It was like a first date. I'm interested and intrigued, and would love to go for coffee. I'm just not sure if I wanna be clinging onto your bed sheets anytime soon. You've whetted my appetite, now wet my panties.

Riley - This is what the person who performed Call Me Maybe was trying to achieve, kind of. It certainly was better than that, but really bitch this is a good song but where is Run Away With Me, Cut To The Feeling, Roses or Cry? Think BIGGER and stop shrinking into the background like Morgan's penis when he sent me that nude on Snapchat.

Niamh - need to see a bit more expression next time but solid performance

Ross - Nice but didn’t really stand out!

Next up is the man who genuinely managed to make Ava Max appear before my eyes by sending me this song, it’s Montblanc and Richard Blackwood!
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:00 PM #10
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Montblanc and Richard
So Am I by Ava Max

Ant 5.5
Riley 5.5
Morgan 7
Luke 4.5
Ross 2.5
Niamh 4

Total 29

Luke - this isn't sweet but psycho now is it? oh wait yes it is just another song that sounds like it but anywho it was a ok performance it was that fall that let you down.

Morgan - Wow, I loved this routine to Sweet But Psycho So Am I, but skating forwards and backwards over and over again isn't going to cut it much longer!

Riley - This was surprisingly good? I hadn't heard this before and expected a car crash, but you are actually really good? I would like to see less lifts next week and more skating!

Thanks Mont! Next up hoping to beat her sister is Danielle-X and her partner Danniella Westbrook!
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:01 PM #11
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Ross
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:01 PM #12
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Danielle-X and Danniella
Talking Body by Tove Love

Ant 6.5
Riley 6
Morgan 6
Luke 4
Ross 5.5
Niamh 5

Total 33

Morgan - Well there was nothing wrong with the skate but if you think Live Sex on the rink is going to get a ten from me you can think again!

Riley - I really loved this routine and you have displayed obvious skill, the connection between you and your partner is electric! But it kind of didn't really go anywhere? I'm looking for a MOMENT sweetie as well as an emotional connection

Ant - Thank GOODNESS this show is being aired post watershed. I loved when your massive phallic knob was dragged along the cool ice but it'd have more panache if it was wearing a cute little ice skating boot

Niamh - bit bland for me sorry.

Danielle-X causing us to go after the watershed? Next up is one of our American friends, Jersey and Corey Feldman
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:03 PM #13
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Jersey and Corey
Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

Ant 7
Riley 4
Morgan 3
Luke 4
Ross 5.5
Niamh 6.5

Total 30

Luke - This performance didn't go anywhere, you were stumbled quite a lot and i felt you were really stiff during most parts!

Morgan - Ross and Luke are gonna LAP this up so I've adjusted my score accordingly because this was rather annoying!

Riley - I stan Carly but this was a mess. You literally just stood there and pulled a Britney with the hand movements and then when you DID skate you didn't let go of your partner. We need to see some conviction in your performance and you clearly need more confidence on the ice.

Niamh - It was a good performance but a bit safe, need to see you take more risks next time

Ross - LukeB is going to score this highly but I have higher standards so a 5.5 is the best you’ll get for this

Next up is Liam and Kerry Katona with one of my fav routines!
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:04 PM #14
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Wow the judges were right these are all below average songs
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I started declining people if they have a Foren names though as those people I think are contacting me about dating as they want a visa... Lots of people (who can't speak English well) contact me about wanting to be my bf... Then I find out that they actually live in indea or a place like that
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:04 PM #15
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Liam and Kerry Katona
I Hate This Part by Pussycat Dolls

Ant 5.5
Riley 6.5
Morgan 4.5
Luke 5.5
Ross 6
Niamh 5.5

Total 33.5

Luke - A great first performance but I didn't see any chemistry between your partner and you were slightly out of sync but you should be proud of your first performance

Riley - A cute routine to a great song by an iconic group! It also reflects my life as I hate the part when I have to be fake nice to Ross coming to the TiBB studio for Dancing on Ice. Anyway I hope this isn't the end for you like it was for our PCD member Jessica, whatever happened to her?

Ant - Cute and position but has some negative undertones. Me teas. I can't award you any higher because I feel too attacked.

Ross - Not Nicole finding her way onto the ice to overshadow Melody!

Melody, Ashley, Nicole, Kimberly, Jessica & the other one would be proud! Next up is Tony Montana and Kem Cetinay!
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:05 PM #16
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I hate this part deserved BETTER
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I started declining people if they have a Foren names though as those people I think are contacting me about dating as they want a visa... Lots of people (who can't speak English well) contact me about wanting to be my bf... Then I find out that they actually live in indea or a place like that
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:06 PM #17
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Tony and Kem
I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Aerosmith

Ant 3.5
Riley 7.5
Morgan 8.5
Luke 5.5
Ross 4.5
Niamh 8.5

Total 38

Morgan - You're absolutely RIGHT - I didn't want to miss a thing! Next week I want to see less of you being flung through the air by your partner and more skating please!

Riley - WOW! This has to be one of the best first week performances on TiBB On Ice, and my performance of Windmills Of Your Mind was something! I was nearly in tears. You and your partner have so much sexual chemistry Ant was pleasuring himself under the table thinking he was watching Pornhub on Ice.

Ant - Zzzzzzzzzzzzz... oh sorry yeah I didn't wanna miss a thing but your performance was so boring I missed it all cuz I fell asleep yikes! Step it up next week.

Finally, with a gay anthem, it’s Alf and Jorgie Porter!
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:06 PM #18
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not our Alf skating to a gay anthem
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:06 PM #19
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Alf and Jorgie
Now I’m Following You by Madonna

Ant 7
Riley 4.5
Morgan 5
Luke 2.5
Ross 3
Niamh 9

Total 31

Luke - You are simply just not experienced enough for this style of routine and the fall halfway through was a tragic disaster!

Riley - This was a cute performance from what I assume is our token oldie? I was a bit worried you might slip and snap in half, but you are very brave to attempt to ice skate at your age. It was sweet, and this girl needed some sweetening up.

Niamh - Love this, so much energy and zest, great job

Ross - Imagine choosing a song from I’m Breathless that isn’t Vogue, GO HOME!



Cute! Let’s look at our leaderboard!
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:06 PM #20
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Come on Alf
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:07 PM #21
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Alf slayed
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:08 PM #22
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I'll take that
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:09 PM #23
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Montblanc and Richard
So Am I by Ava Max

Ant 5.5
Riley 5.5
Morgan 7
Luke 4.5
Ross 2.5
Niamh 4

Total 29

Luke - this isn't sweet but psycho now is it? oh wait yes it is just another song that sounds like it but anywho it was a ok performance it was that fall that let you down.

Morgan - Wow, I loved this routine to Sweet But Psycho So Am I, but skating forwards and backwards over and over again isn't going to cut it much longer!

Riley - This was surprisingly good? I hadn't heard this before and expected a car crash, but you are actually really good? I would like to see less lifts next week and more skating!

Thanks Mont! Next up hoping to beat her sister is Danielle-X and her partner Danniella Westbrook!
WHAT happened to my strikethrough My joke RUINED huh
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:10 PM #24
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The guest judge was a Godess

Can we have her back
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Old 13-03-2019, 09:11 PM #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitchell View Post
Cal Louise and Roxanne
Fight Song by Rachel Platten

Ant 3
Riley 3.5
Morgan 5.5
Luke 6
Ross 3
Niamh 6.5

Total 28

Luke - Wonderful, stunning,never seen before and iconic! A great first performance and some technique

Riley - Zzzz. Sorry did I fall asleep? No it's not from exhaustion having to be a fake bitch on TV, it was from this incredibly boring performance. If this was a save me skate, I would have got it, but I don't know why you are fighting in the first week? Just have fun and don't take it so seriously.

Ant - The **** you fighting for? It's round ****ing one! Tryhard. This would be a poetic if not cliche choice at the end of the series when we had seen your journey and story and progression. Right now you've defined your "fight" with an inexperienced skate. It's first impressions week. And my impression is that you're desperate for the sympathy vote and have A LOT to learn. Submit a Britney Spears song next time you fraught bitch!

Let’s hope the public vote Cal to fight in week 2! Hoping to do better is Wojtek and Gemma Bissix!
I’m being BULLIED
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