[Red Moon]

Laura's got top assests

FIRST things first. Tracey nearly took Housemate Of The Week purely on the strength of her solo birthday rave in the diary room. 'Avin' it for nearly two hours, she was.

But how can you deny lovely, lumpen Laura? Like Cameron from BB4 she's undeniably one of life's good guys. But unlike him she's not destined to become the most boring winner in BB history. Mainly because she's not boring and she's not going to win.

If people like me voted, she'd walk it. But the teenage girls who do vote don't go for subtlety. So unless she starts waving the fat flag more vigorously and singing Big Girl, You Are Bootiful! at the top of her voice, she's going to remain an also-ran. But for now, she will do for me.

I love the fact that while all the girlies change their outfits six times an hour she sits around in her dressing gown all day like Bubbles De Vere. I also love how she casually sticks her nose into every discussion like Les Dawson's Cissy and Ada leaning over the garden fence (on occasion, she's even been known to hoik up her colossal clackers with her forearm).

And I love the way she feels she has to explain how her nickname "Wangers" derives from those colossal clackers.

But most of all I love the fact that since Thursday she's been sneakily trying to turn all the other housemates against the human oil-slick that is Ziggy.

Like I said. She's one of life's good guys.

Source: News of the World