[UserSince2005]

i rent the 2nd bedroom of my flat out for £900 a month lol

[Barry.]

Originally Posted by UserSince2005

lol the topics on this forum. dont think this forum is the place for me

Sorry Michael, I mean user.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by WickedSkengMan

I'm just not good with new people in personal spaces

If you look around enough, it's generally possible to find somewhere with an en-suite and locking bedroom doors. In fact, in Scotland it's actually a legal requirement for "Multiple Occupation" houses to have key-locking bedrooms, all of my Uni houses did. In that case you're essentially ONLY sharing a kitchen. And if you don't really cook properly you could just get a kettle and microwave and cook in your room .

To be fair though, I do get where you're coming from, I wouldn't want to house share with strangers. Uni Halls is a bit different because it's all new and everyone's in the same boat, so to speak, and both of the other shared houses I lived in when I was younger were with friends I made in that first year. Shared houses with friends are a lot of fun. With strangers I imagine it's a bit weird.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

If you look around enough, it's generally possible to find somewhere with an en-suite and locking bedroom doors. In fact, in Scotland it's actually a legal requirement for "Multiple Occupation" houses to have key-locking bedrooms, all of my Uni houses did. In that case you're essentially ONLY sharing a kitchen. And if you don't really cook properly you could just get a kettle and microwave and cook in your room .

To be fair though, I do get where you're coming from, I wouldn't want to house share with strangers. Uni Halls is a bit different because it's all new and everyone's in the same boat, so to speak, and both of the other shared houses I lived in when I was younger were with friends I made in that first year. Shared houses with friends are a lot of fun. With strangers I imagine it's a bit weird.

not sure I agree with that, if two people are renting a room each in a flat share they are in the same boat as well, the only difference is if one owns the flat and the other is a lodger and even then if they are respectful of each others spaces and are on the same page with regard to cleaning etc then how can it be an issue, people house share all the time with people they don't know

[Kizzy]

If I were you I would get a LISA ( go on the money saving expert website) it would prob take you less time to save for a deposit unless you're in London than it would to be ofeed a council place. In Leeds the average wait for someone with no priority is 9yrs.
I have lived in my council house for 20+ yrs and recently bought it.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

If I were you I would get a LISA ( go on the money saving expert website) it would prob take you less time to save for a deposit unless you're in London than it would to be ofeed a council place. In Leeds the average wait for someone with no priority is 9yrs.
I have lived in my council house for 20+ yrs and recently bought it.

that would be the best thing to do if Adam could stay living with his Dad, but that seems not to be the case sadly

congrats on buying your house :

[Kizzy]

Are you working? If you are I would try my best to reconcile with your dad, I know it's hard. I live with my son and getting used to a different dynamic as 2 working adults sharing a space other than in your case father and son is hard.

However even if it is your home it is still your dad's house and you have to appreciate that, you mentioned decorating if you had a private rental you would not be allowed to redecorate.. even putting pictures up have to be done so there is no damage at all to the paintwork on the wall.

In your dad's house you could ask to make changes to your room but offer to put it back to your dad's liking when you eventually do move away. Even though it doesn't seem like it this is the best option staying at home, but you have to make compromises and be mutually respectful, just as you would if you had any housemate.

Make some rules and stick to them, things like housework, washing, loud music, contributing to food and bills.
Ask your dad to reconsider if you are willing to make some changes.

[Amy Jade]

Can you not spend some time at a friends for a little while to get some space from your Dad?

If I argue with my mum I go to Tyler's and used to go to my friends house for a weekend.

[Denver]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Are you working? If you are I would try my best to reconcile with your dad, I know it's hard. I live with my son and getting used to a different dynamic as 2 working adults sharing a space other than in your case father and son is hard.

However even if it is your home it is still your dad's house and you have to appreciate that, you mentioned decorating if you had a private rental you would not be allowed to redecorate.. even putting pictures up have to be done so there is no damage at all to the paintwork on the wall.

In your dad's house you could ask to make changes to your room but offer to put it back to your dad's liking when you eventually do move away. Even though it doesn't seem like it this is the best option staying at home, but you have to make compromises and be mutually respectful, just as you would if you had any housemate.

Make some rules and stick to them, things like housework, washing, loud music, contributing to food and bills.
Ask your dad to reconsider if you are willing to make some changes.

I do work, but my dad is a nasty piece of work and thinks because he gave me somewhere to live when I was 22 it makes him a great dad despite being non existent I n the previous years, I dont like the way he talks dont to people and I dont like his racist or homophobic remarks so I dont wish to reconcile but I'll bide my time and once I'm gone I'm gone for good as I dont want someone like that in my life

[Denver]

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

Can you not spend some time at a friends for a little while to get some space from your Dad?

If I argue with my mum I go to Tyler's and used to go to my friends house for a weekend.

I said elsewhere on Friday after the argument but it just restarted when I went home yesterday,

I could spend the night with friends or even family but it would be a one night thing and not something I can permanently do and I dont want to be a sofa surfer anyway although I'm grateful some people have my back when I need it

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by WickedSkengMan

I do work, but my dad is a nasty piece of work and thinks because he gave me somewhere to live when I was 22 it makes him a great dad despite being non existent I n the previous years, I dont like the way he talks dont to people and I dont like his racist or homophobic remarks so I dont wish to reconcile but I'll bide my time and once I'm gone I'm gone for good as I dont want someone like that in my life

It's sad your dad wasn't there for you untill recently, some parents just aren't the people we want or need them to be.

Like you say bide your time, you don't have to spend time with him to hear his views if you don't want, if he can't be civil walk away to your room and don't engage. You can't change him but you don't have to make yourself miserable listening to him either.