[caprimint]

Originally Posted by Jessica.

How can hating a certain group of the population be an opinion?

I mean... it is their opinion if they feel that way towards them?

Highly likely in situations like this people are just generalizing anyway, they don't mean it in literal terms that they hate every single old person

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

People can also be weak and just go along with a crowd just to be popular and express things they think others wish to hear, you have to weigh up all the possibilities ie vile pig v weak personality

I think I'd handle a friend getting in with the wrong crowd in a different way tbh.

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by caprimint

In this instance it's not a case of being right or wrong though, it's just about having different opinions whether you agree/disagree with them or not

I think it depends.

Does the person in the scenario truly hate older people or is she venting about older customers at work? Because anyone who has ever worked in retail can attest to the fact that the elderly can be both the best and worst kind of people to deal with.

If it's the latter, I'd let it slide that kind of venting is rooted in problems with customer behaviour but if she was all 'I want to kill all old people everywhere' then that's different.

If a friend is legitimately racist, homophobic or sexist then I don't think I could be friends with them.

[Ammi]

...in terms of any ‘hate’ or prejudice shown toward specific people, I am starting to feel more and more that saying nothing...or walking away as it were..?..is condoning and adding to a problem...so speaking up is more the answer...

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

I think it depends.

Does the person in the scenario truly hate older people or is she venting about older customers at work? Because anyone who has ever worked in retail can attest to the fact that the elderly can be both the best and worst kind of people to deal with.

If it's the latter, I'd let it slide that kind of venting is rooted in problems with customer behaviour but if she was all 'I want to kill all old people everywhere' then that's different.

If a friend is legitimately racist, homophobic or sexist then I don't think I could be friends with them.

I used ageism as an example because I see it equally as awful as racism, homophobia and sexism etc.. In the hypothetical situation the friend is showing traits of really being ignorant or hating the group.

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...in terms of any ‘hate’ or prejudice shown toward specific people, I am starting to feel more and more that saying nothing...or walking away as it were..?..is condoning and adding to a problem...so speaking up is more the answer...

That's exactly how I feel, I can't stand by anymore, it's hard when the person has done nothing personal to me, but it's not fair to let them say awful things and think it's okay because nobody has corrected them.

[Toy Soldier]

They're not your responsibility but I personally wouldn't bother being friends with anyone I couldn't strongly and openly challenge without them "getting offendededed" or whatever... and people don't stay friends with me long if that's something they can't handle. Who would have guessed .

But yeah... there's a good reason that I have a small number of life-long friends, and very few "casual" friends. It's not about "agreeing about stuff" either - I have some VERY different opinions to good friends on certain topics. Purely down to the ability to robustly disagree and remain friends.

Workmates are another matter though, you have to reign it in a bit if you want to have anything resembling a comfortable work environment. I had to reign in a lot with co-workers in my previous job. I had my hard lines but I let things pass that I wouldn't have in other situations. Thankfully, in my current job (heavily values-focussed non-profit social enterprise) it's not really an issue as anyone who isn't more or less on the same page wouldn't be working there and (to be pretty blunt here ) the people who work there are educated, respectful, intelligent and articulate so when disagreements do occur they're talked out properly and don't descend into nonsense.

[parmnion]

Depends. .


Is her nickname big jen?

[JerseyWins]

I wouldn't distance myself from a loyal / long-lasting friend after that,. I'd either let it slide or tell them what they're doing/saying is wrong depending how bad it is

In this particular instance, I'd prob just let it slide. Sometimes people go on generalized rants on a group of people that has annoyed them in the moment / lately without actually being prejudice / awful etc. Prob still best to set them straight tho

[rusticgal]

I think if your friend makes you feel uncomfortable and you feel it’s making you feel differently towards them...then you should say something because you will have nothing to lose.

[Oliver_W]

Nah, it's not my place to tell other people what to think, no-one wants to know that person who keeps lecturing people about their "problematic" behaviour I'd just phase them out of my life if they kept doing it.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Nah, it's not my place to tell other people what to think, no-one wants to know that person who keeps lecturing people about their "problematic" behaviour I'd just phase them out of my life if they kept doing it.

It's not your place to tell others what they should think, but it is your place (or right) to tell others what you think. If you want to, obviously.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

It's not your place to tell others what they should think, but it is your place (or right) to tell others what you think. If you want to, obviously.

Well sure. But if I came across the rare person who held true hatred in their heart toward a group of people for their surface level traits, I wouldn't be interested in telling them anything That's a closed mind right there, and it's not gonna be opened by someone ranting at them.

[joeysteele]

In the scenario in the opening post.
I'd certainly express my own view of why I disagree with how that person felt.

I would with anyone holding views like that, thankfully I don't have any, friends like that, it would however likely affect my friendship.

I am and can be friends with those with massively opposite views to mine.
That can get quite heated.

Prejudice I detest however.
I'd have to express my view and challenge it.
Although I think like Oliver, I'd likely over time pull away from such extreme prejudice and the prejudiced individual sadly.

Before I term anyone a friend however, I have pretty much got an idea of their thinking on important issues.

[parmnion]

My pal shannel told me straight the other day from her furloughed home office phone..

I told her straight as well..we are pals still.