[MB.]

and yes, I photoshopped Doc Antle's head on a completely different body, thanks for noticing

[MB.]

Housemate #8




Age: 52
From: London
Who?: right-wing columnist and radio presenter, most recently in the headlines for defending that guy who pissed on... sorry, next to a memorial plaque
CBB archetype: wants to be a Rachel Johnson, more accurately a Carole Malone with a slight dose of the Katie Hopkinses on the side

[Babayaro.]

"OFF OFF OFF"

[MB.]

Housemate #9




Age: 29
From: Manchester
Who?: grime artist, in the vein of Channel 4 casting relevant and successful chart stars (a trend which died the second the show moved to Channel 5)
CBB archetype: 2020 Kenzie (if Kenzie were a decent musician) and I guess since the closest thing to the modern grime scene that was prominent in the Channel 4/early Channel 5 days was the garage scene, feel free to pick either of the So Solid Crew housemates

[Babayaro.]

winner!

[MB.]

Housemate #10




Age: 25
From: Birmingham
Who?: Model and social media star with over 14 million Instagram followers, and former ex of Tyga
CBB archetype: Since the most accurate mid-00s parallel to the modern model-slash-influencer is probably the archetype of the Page Three glamour model, Demi would join a long line of Jodie Marshes, Lucy Pinders and Lacey Banghards

[parmnion]

Davina, slowly tapping her immaculately made up nails
on the casting meeting table.

[MB.]

Just imagine if the Instagram influencer trend had started a few years earlier and the Lucy Pinders of the world had ten million followers

[MB.]

Housemate #11




Age: 38
From: Seattle/Los Angeles
Who?: YouTube beauty influencer, makeup artist, businesswoman and James Charles adversary
CBB archetype: the token American tabloid star (see Caprice, Tara Reid, Jasmine Waltz and Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure-Bouvier for further details on this archetype)

[parmnion]

I think you should take davina name out of this in the op.


She would never take part in a revival if it was c5 esq

[MB.]

Originally Posted by parmnion

I think you should take davina name out of this in the op.


She would never take part in a revival if it was c5 esq

Here's what she said when asked if she would return the other day:

"Oh god, if they asked me to, yes," she confirmed. "Yes, of course, I would! You know, I've had 11 years off. It's Channel 4, which is kind of the home where I presented it before."

So I wouldn't be so sure! (unless she really hates Tati Westbrook that much)

[MB.]

also I'm pretending that this is on Channel 4

[MB.]

anyway, final housemate!

[MB.]

Housemate #12




Age: 60
From: London
Who?: legendary ‘80s comedian, actor and Whose Line Is It Anyway? star, who recently returned to the public eye to chronicle his battles with bipolar disorder, depression and alcoholism
CBB archetype: part jaded comedian (Jack Dee), part wisecracking intellectual (Ken Russell), part sage gay elder (Julian Clary)

[MB.]

I'll post the simulation results tomorrow (it gets... interesting), but until then here's the full cast of housemates:

[MB.]

oh fine, you've all behaved yourselves so far so you can have the first few days early

[MB.]

Celebrity Big Brother 2020
Days 1-4

Day 1

Spoiler:

All twelve housemates – Beverley, Fred, Amber, Baga, AJ, Sophie, Doc, Julia, Bugzy, Demi, Tati and Tony – enter the house.


ah, it’s like Big Brother’s never been away. I've missed this kind of thing!

Day 2

Spoiler:

which makes today's "get to know your fellow housemates by open mouth kissing them all day" task that much more difficult.



let's get some relatives on BBLB to confirm or deny, shall we? *googles Barbara Newhall Follett* oh. I mean, I'm sure Demi could convincingly pass for an 106-year-old.

Day 3

Spoiler:

atta girl.

Day 4 + Nominations

Spoiler:

hey, if it’s good enough for the Rt. Hon. Alan Johnson, it’s good enough for Baga Chipz MBE.


Later on, the housemates are called to the diary room one-by-one to nominate for the first time. The results are as follows:

AJ – Julia & Tati
Amber – Fred & Julia
Baga – Demi & Tati
Beverley – Doc & Julia
Bugzy – Tati & Julia
Demi – Bugzy & Doc
Doc – Bugzy & Beverley
Fred – Sophie & Tati
Julia – Tati & Sophie
Sophie – Tati & Doc
Tati – Bugzy & Tony
Tony – Tati & Doc



who goes? the simulator decides!

[parmnion]

Apart from Ken Russel who was only mentioned cause he's gay..tony slattery is older than everyone else you compared him to..

We've seen them...yawn..


Tony would be class if he still had his old energy, or just his caustic and at times cruel wit.

But he wouldn't survive amongst the others.

[MB.]

Ken Russell was famously not gay

[Marsh.]

Ken Russel was gay?

[Marsh.]

[Marsh.]

Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff-etc did CBB?

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff-etc did CBB?

I can't believe you've blocked out the seminal CBB8 from your long-term memory

[Greg!]

Originally Posted by mb.

housemate #8




age: 52
from: london
who?: right-wing columnist and radio presenter, most recently in the headlines for defending that guy who pissed on... Sorry, next to a memorial plaque
cbb archetype: wants to be a rachel johnson, more accurately a carole malone with a slight dose of the katie hopkinses on the side

booooooo!!!! Who are ya! Who are ya!

[Morgan.]

Loving this MB