[Ammi]

...Katy Perry, the shade of it.....

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...a purrfect mini challenge for Gia.....



....your graphics are gorgeous, MB......

It's certainly a challenge that will have given the other queens paws for thought (and thank you! I think this particular one was made on my lunch break but hey, it's the thought that counts)

[MB.]

Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race...

Episode 3: The RuPer Bowl Halftime Show
All thirteen queens come together for the first time, only to immediately split off into two competing girl groups. For this week's maxi challenge, they must write and record verses for two rival pop smashes-in-the-making, ‘Too Hot to Touchdown’ and ‘N.F.L. (Nasty Freaky Ladies)’. They must then choreograph halftime show-worthy routines and perform them in front of this week's extra special guest judge, Lil Kim.

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by MB.

The title of said maxi challenge of course being She Done Already Done Had Heracross

*fires my intern who only managed to come up with Blazikens Across the Board*

[Ammi]

...I’m just reading about Jazell Barbie Royale being crowned Miss International Queen......the first black woman to be crowned...?....

Spoiler:

[IMG][/IMG]

“I want to be able to represent trans equality around the world. I want to be able to educate our allies, or people that don’t like us or understand us. I want them to see that we’re beautiful, we’re educated, we’re talented, and we can maneuver in society just like anyone else.”.....

[Ammi]

...image warning:...that spoiler is there for a reason...beware!!!...

[Ammi]

...gorgeous though.....

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...I’m just reading about Jazell Barbie Royale being crowned Miss International Queen......the first black woman to be crowned...?....

Spoiler:

[IMG][/IMG]

“I want to be able to represent trans equality around the world. I want to be able to educate our allies, or people that don’t like us or understand us. I want them to see that we’re beautiful, we’re educated, we’re talented, and we can maneuver in society just like anyone else.”.....

There's a good reason why one third of her name is Royale

[MB.]

also, for anyone wanting to imagine what these people would actually look like in the werk room/their confessionals/the Shade Tree (RIP), here are the queens out of drag:

Spoiler:

top row: 6, Gia, Jazell, Kornbread, Moltyn, Olivia, Veronica
bottom row: Denali, Jasmine, Kandy, Toto, Neon, Tina

[Daniel-X]

Suddenly I want Toto to win

[Ammi]

..you think of everything, MB......it is always lovely to see them out of drag and in the werk room as well, as that’s where we learn a bit about their lives and I love that...and then seeing the transformation into ultimate glamour for the runway...

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Daniel-X

Suddenly I want Toto to win

I was hoping nobody would clock the very, very subtle subliminal messages in the photos I picked for her and Gia

[MB.]

then again one of the queens apparently on the real season 13 looks like this, so I've been outdone by World of Wonder yet again (spoiler tagged partly for the actual spoiler, partly for the gratuitous nipples)

Spoiler:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Instagram (@instagram) on Feb 3, 2020 at 9:42am PST

[Shaun]

jesus h christ

[MB.]

no I don't think Jesus applied this season

[Shaun]

shame, she's been turning looks as 'slim'

[Ammi]

.....with Jazell’s Moses realness as well, this is feeling quite the religious/biblical series...

[MB.]

Speaking of religious experiences, Lil' Kim's episode is coming right up xo

[MB.]

The Queens Meet
The episode two queens enter the werk room to find the queens from episode one waiting for them, and as usual, we get a Mexican standoff between the two groups. That is, of course, until New York sisters Jasmine and Tina excitedly run at each other like a pair of horny cats, as though they weren’t tipped off to the other being on the season when they went to the same designer for all their outfits (oh you New York queens, never change).

Other queens with preexisting relationships, such as Chicago's Denali and Toto, also reconnect through the art of hugging and screaming, while queens with smaller reputations in the outside world, such as Veronica and Moltyn, introduce themselves to the slightly sceptical group. "These big name queens could eat these small fish up," Jasmine from NYC tells LA's 6, who nods in agreement.

A catching-up (/gossiping) session ensues, and it's quickly spilled that Jazell and Gia are currently the queens to beat with a challenge win each. Jasmine in particular looks visibly surprised that skinny young thing Gia won for her group, while Tina jokingly (...I think) suggests that Kandy should have been in the bottom last week over Moltyn. Kandy does not look best pleased, although that might just be the way she paints.

Main Challenge
It's a new day in the werk room, and Ru welcomes the queens as one big group for the first time. As the winners of the first two challenges, Jazell and Gia are each assigned the role of team captain for this week's maxi challenge, and as such they get to pick the members of their girl groups for the upcoming RuPer Bowl Halftime Show extravaganza. The teams end up as follows, with the queens listed in the order they were chosen:

Team Jazell (Team Too Hot to Touchdown)
Jazell Barbie Royale
Neon Calypso
Miss Toto
Denali
Jasmine Rice LaBeija
6
Kornbread Jeté

Team Gia (Team Nasty Freaky Ladies)
Gia Metric
Olivia Lux
Kandy Muse
Moltyn Decadence
Tina Burner
Veronica Taylor-Mykels

Kornbread, who was the only queen not to be picked and therefore got to choose her team, promises to surprise everyone by being the MVP of the game. I wouldn't like my odds if I were to be tackled by her, let's put it that way. Yay football references!

Rehearsals
Team Jazell write and record their verses for 'Too Hot to Touchdown', with trained singer Jasmine taking to the mic like Jinkx Monsoon's duck to water. Neon and Toto, meanwhile, get inventive with their respective rap verses, bouncing off one another with an assortment of American football puns; Neon in particular mentions that she wants her rap to be as tight as can be for her idol, guest judge Lil' Kim. Afterwards, the team heads to dance rehearsals with choreographer Jamal Sims, who is on standby as they choreograph their girl group routines. As a dancer, Denali confidently takes the lead on the choreography, helping Jazell put the number together. On the other hand, Jamal calls out 6 for fading into the background (which seems a given when sharing a stage with six other drag queens), while Kornbread confesses she is struggling to pick up the steps, causing Jazell some concern. Kornbread begins to worry that her team leader might have been right not to pick her after all.

Meanwhile, Team Gia record their verses for their song, 'N.F.L. (Nasty Freaky Ladies)'. Olivia's musical theatre belting takes her teammates by surprise ("I thought she was just here to be the pretty one," admits Tina), while Moltyn, Kandy and Gia rap their verses. To put it kindly, Moltyn and Kandy are a little more natural at rapping than Gia. Later on, the team prepares their group choreography with Jamal. Unlike Team Jazell, nobody takes an immediate lead on the choreo, leaving Olivia to step up to make suggestions. Team leader Gia seems a little flustered by the whole thing, which Kandy, as her brutally honest friend, decides to call her out on. Afterwards, Veronica takes Kandy to one side to tell her she agrees with her decision, and thinks the team could have used a stronger leader than Gia (Veronica herself struggles to pick up the steps, as Jamal notices several times, so she could just be shifting the blame). Moltyn, meanwhile, says she's sitting back and enjoying the drama, although secretly hopes the infighting and indecision doesn't sink her group - after all, she got negative critiques last week, so will have to work extra hard to impress the judges.

Mirror Chat
As they do their makeup in preparation for their halftime show performances, the queens discuss their histories playing sport. Tina for one talks about being an athlete in her younger days, and explains how she has learned to accept her less-than-feminine build out of drag and become the self-proclaimed "linebacker in a pantsuit" that she is. Miss Toto, who is a competitive bodybuilder out of drag, says she fell in love with fitness while working at a gym to earn money to do drag. Bodybuilding, she thinks, is "drag for straight people", as both are entirely performative ways of self-expression. Building off of this, Veronica talks about her finding drag at a young age as a way to escape expectations of masculinity and conformity, and says an unexpected perk of doing drag in this day and age is queer kids seeing drag queens as role models.

Of course, you could read all of the above in a Judith Butler book, and what you're really here for is some good old fashioned drama. Well, you're in luck, as Kandy decides to live up to her messy queen title by confronting Gia once again about her poor leadership. Kandy also finds it rather interesting that certain queens who had agreed with her in private earlier (cough Veronica cough) aren't backing her up in front of the group now. Perhaps the werk room isn't big enough for the thirteen of them.

[MB.]

Performances
Ru welcomes us to the RuPer Bowl Halftime Show with the promise that no, Shakira will not be yodelling at any point during this one. Team Jazell performs their song 'Too Hot to Touchdown' first, followed by Team Gia, performing 'N.F.L. (Nasty Freaky Ladies)', with each group lip syncing to their earlier-recorded vocals. I assume there's some American football being played by the Pit Crew either side of these performances, but this never gets mentioned in any way, shape or form.

Runway
This week's runway category is Make Your Statement, i.e. sloganwear and other such outfits that incorporate writing (like Jan Sport's black wedding look), inspired by Viktor & Rolf. See below for a moodboard:

Spoiler:

Judging
Having watched both groups perform, Ru declares Team Too Hot to Touchdown (6, Denali, Jasmine, Jazell, Kornbread, Neon and Toto) to be the winners of the challenge. Of these, Denali, Neon and Toto are particularly singled out for praise, with the judges loving Denali's precision, Toto's showstopping energy and Neon's slick bars and unique stage presence. With the approval of Lil' Kim herself, Neon is declared the winner of this week's challenge, and bags a $5,000 tip for her good work. The rest of the team are declared safe and are free to leave the stage.

Safe: 6, Jasmine Rice LaBeija, Jazell Barbie Royale & Kornbread Jeté
Safe (High): Denali & Miss Toto
Winner: Neon Calypso

This leaves Gia, Kandy, Olivia, Moltyn, Tina and Veronica up for elimination this week. In terms of positives, all of the judges agree that Olivia was the standout of Team Nasty Freaky Ladies, and that she could have won the entire challenge had she been on the other team. Otherwise, they're also in agreement that Gia's team was on the whole less cohesive and seemingly less prepared than Jazell's; Gia is criticised (by both the judges and Kandy, who still believes she is being constructive in her feedback) for her poor organisational skills as team leader, Kandy is praised for her enthusiasm but Michelle says she couldn't understand most of her lyrics due to her muddled enunciation, Tina is told by both Carson and Lil' Kim that she faded into the background during the performance (possibly due to nerves), Moltyn is called out for messing up the choreography multiple times, and Veronica is criticised for her lacklustre dancing and performance skills.

Ru declares Olivia safe, followed by Kandy, Tina and finally Gia, therefore leaving Moltyn and Veronica as the two queens who must lip sync for their lives tonight.

Safe: Olivia Lux
Safe: Kandy Muse
Safe (Low): Tina Burner
Safe (Low): Gia Metric
Bottom Two: Moltyn Decadence & Veronica Taylor-Mykels

In a confessional, Moltyn admits that she got too wrapped up in other queens' drama that she forgot to focus on herself, hence her multiple slip-ups in the performance. Now, she says, is her chance to correct that in the lip sync. Veronica, meanwhile, says she would be devastated to come all the way from Denver only to go home first, and that she's going to do all she can to convince Ru to keep her.

[Ammi]

...so the RuDio Times was not your finest hour, MB......there is always more from you my love, you’re the gift that gives and gives and gives gloriously for our pleasure......


...i just have to go out somewhere, I’ll perch the Ruper Bowl in a bit...

[MB.]

Lip Sync for Your Life

Moltyn Decadence
vs.
Veronica Taylor-Mykels



to
The Jump Off
(Lil' Kim)

Youtube video

(insert gif of Nina Bo'nina Brown saying "oh my god, it's the first lip sync [for your life, at least]" here)

Moltyn looks right at home with the song, having lots of fun and lip syncing the words to the judges as if she were Lil' Kim herself. Veronica, meanwhile, is... well, a white gay man doing a Lil' Kim number. To say it's a mercy kill would be to put it kindly, but hey, at least Veronica is dignified to remain on the stage for the duration of the song as Moltyn runs rings around her.

"Moltyn Decadence... shantay you stay."

Moltyn seems incredibly relieved, and promises Ru that she won't take her eye off the ball in a challenge again. Ru tells Veronica that while she may be creepy, kooky and mysteriously spooky, she'll always be a member of the Charles family, before asking her to sashay away. Veronica then bids her fellow queens adieu with the vow that she'll be a Nasty Freaky Lady for life, and heads on back to Denver (presumably to face the wrath of Yvie Oddly).

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

...so the RuDio Times was not your finest hour, MB......there is always more from you my love, you’re the gift that gives and gives and gives gloriously for our pleasure......


...i just have to go out somewhere, I’ll perch the Ruper Bowl in a bit...

I'll confess that I came up with each challenge based on how easily I could make a pun out of its title, so get ready for the RuDundancy challenge in which all of the queens are laid off and have to go to the Jobcentre

[MB.]

Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race...

Episode 4: Death by Rice
In this Knives Out-style murder mystery improv challenge, all of the queens become suspects after former judge Santino Rice is found dead at Tuckingham Manor. It’s such a twisted Ru-dunnit that I wouldn’t even rule out the extra special guest judges, legendary scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis and Saturday Night Live star Bowen Yang...

[Ammi]

...awwww, the lovely Kornbread not being chosen......that’s always such a sad moment when a queen has to watch others being chosen while she isn’t, I hate that...I’m so happy that Team Too Hot to Touchdown won and I feel that kornbread’s contribution to that was so valuable......that runway, Make Your Statement was just made for Neon, that was Her runway.....