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Old 06-10-2020, 12:03 PM #1
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Default Son 'angry' at being moved away from mum at dad's funeral

A son has been left "angry and upset" after he was told to move after comforting his mother at his father's funeral.

Craig Bicknell, from Milton Keynes, said a staff member at Crownhill Crematorium interrupted the service to tell him and his brother to put their chairs back.

He made the decision to sit by his "vulnerable" mother as she was "lost".

Milton Keynes Council, which runs the building, said it was sorry.

Mr Bicknell, 43, said: "I made everyone aware that I [would] need to comfort my mum at some point.

"When I saw my mum break as she did, it just took over that I had to comfort her and put my arm around her."

At the start of his father Alan Wright's service the chairs were set out separately, but he decided to move his to comfort his mother as she was "lost, empty and she was so upset".

When his brother followed suit, an employee rushed in and told them, "you have to put them back, I'm afraid".

"You can't move the chairs, you were told," he added.

Mr Bicknell said the experience had left him "angry, upset; it was just an empty feeling".

"It totally ruined the day," as he still had to deliver his eulogy after the confrontation, so he just moved and carried on so it would not be cancelled, he said.

"It was very hard to do. I need the service to carry on for my dad.

"It was a really scary feeling, I've never felt before."

Milton Keynes Council said: 'We are sorry to have upset this family.

"We don't usually step in if a guest needs to be comforted by another family member and in this instance should have taken a more considered approach.

"We ask funeral directors to let us know whether any chairs should be grouped in advance, and from now on this includes guests who are in the same household or bubbles, as well as people who need extra support."

The current Covid government guidelines allow up to 30 people to attend a funeral, and social distancing must be "strictly adhered to".

Mr Bicknell wants the rule of six to be changed to include people who are not from the same household at funerals so they are "able to comfort each other and not have to worry".

"We know this is the new way of living, we know there are rules to adhere to, but if we can change this, we have achieved something," he said.

He said if this happened it would be in honour of his father.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan...herts-54431900

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Sometimes things are just taken too far
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Old 06-10-2020, 12:11 PM #2
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Yes. Sometimes things really are. X
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Old 06-10-2020, 12:13 PM #3
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Unbelievable....whats the matter with people.
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Old 06-10-2020, 12:16 PM #4
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Just a misunderstanding

The person was thinking he was just doing his job

SD and funerals are not easy bedfellows
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Old 06-10-2020, 12:18 PM #5
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No not a misunderstanding. More of a bloody jobsworth.

Anyone with a little empathy would have let them be.
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Old 06-10-2020, 12:25 PM #6
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Poor family...
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Old 06-10-2020, 12:28 PM #7
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It is getting to dystopian levels now
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Old 06-10-2020, 04:09 PM #8
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It does sound heartless but in a way it's right if his mum is vulnerable, how would he feel if he made his mum ill at his dads funeral?
The only solution would be to sit closer but wear a mask and visor or something. Vulnerable people are more at risk when people are crying and wiping their faces and noses around them. At least there was some kind of service a few weeks ago there wasn't even an option.
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Old 06-10-2020, 05:44 PM #9
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I watched the video earlier when it was circulating on social media, very sad to watch and must be so difficult for the families at funerals during these times, I don't think the worker can be blamed either though as he was doing what they have been instructed to do. These places need to adhere to strict guidelines from the government to continue providing a service that is always going to be needed.
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Old 06-10-2020, 05:59 PM #10
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They were on TV this morning.
Well let anyone tell me I couldn't go and put my arm round my Mother if she was in distress.

They'd been looking after her before the funeral.
This was really bad.

They'd lost their Father.
The Mother her Husband.

It doesn't call for anything else other than compassion for goodness sake.

If it was someone she hadn't been around before fair enough.

A Mother and her 2 sons who were looking after her anyway, should have been sat together in any event.

Last edited by joeysteele; 06-10-2020 at 07:37 PM.
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