[Swan]

Not necessarily possessive, but someone who gets jealous if another person checks you, or you check them out. Someone who questions your choice of outfit on a night out, someone who asks who you're texting a lot etc...

Or someone who is a lot more laid back when it comes to that stuff. Doesn't mind you having a little flirt, having male/female friends etc...

I'm certainly more the laid back type, probably too laid back at times. I don't get jealous very easily. I've had relationships in the past where that's worked well for us, but also worked against me/us. A couple women liked that i was chilled out when they wanted a night out and stuff. And then someone who hated that i wasn't "jealous" enough.

[LeatherTrumpet]

I like straight hair and curly teeth

[bitontheslide]

i've never thought about it. People either like each other or they don't and thats the end of it

[Swan]

Originally Posted by bitontheslide

i've never thought about it. People either like each other or they don't and thats the end of it

Well i feel like it's having an understanding, and a balance that suits the both of you.

Some men will question what their GF's/Wives wear when going for a night out. Some women might be fine with that, whereas others would hate it.

[Kate!]

Someone who doesn't physical or verbally abuse me. Been there, got the t shirt.

[UserSince2005]

rich

[rusticgal]

I'm pretty laid back...It takes a lot for me to get jealous. Both myself and my husband can be a little flirtatious but we trust each other and know the boundaries. Trust is important and we clearly have that. I go away with my girlfriends and he goes away with his mates as that time out is priceless.
We keep tabs on each other but thats just in the knowledge that we are both safe rather than possessiveness.
Having said all that I am always right and he is always wrong and he is highly opinionated and gets on my nerves quite often...

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by rusticgal

I'm pretty laid back...It takes a lot for me to get jealous. Both myself and my husband can be a little flirtatious but we trust each other and know the boundaries. Trust is important and we clearly have that. I go away with my girlfriends and he goes away with his mates as that time out is priceless.
We keep tabs on each other but thats just in the knowledge that we are both safe rather than possessiveness.
Having said all that I am always right and he is always wrong and he is highly opinionated and gets on my nerves quite often...

[Swan]

Originally Posted by rusticgal

I'm pretty laid back...It takes a lot for me to get jealous. Both myself and my husband can be a little flirtatious but we trust each other and know the boundaries. Trust is important and we clearly have that. I go away with my girlfriends and he goes away with his mates as that time out is priceless.
We keep tabs on each other but thats just in the knowledge that we are both safe rather than possessiveness.
Having said all that I am always right and he is always wrong and he is highly opinionated and gets on my nerves quite often...

Seems fair

[Cherie]

Not necessarily possessive, but someone who gets jealous if another person checks you, or you check them out. Someone who questions your choice of outfit on a night out, someone who asks who you're texting a lot etc...

That all sounds kinda controlling tbh and it might be flattering that someone is possessive to begin with but the novelty would soon wear off

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Not necessarily possessive, but someone who gets jealous if another person checks you, or you check them out. Someone who questions your choice of outfit on a night out, someone who asks who you're texting a lot etc...

That all sounds kinda controlling tbh and it might be flattering that someone is possessive to begin with but the novelty would soon wear off

You can’t go wrong with the smurf outfit

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Not necessarily possessive, but someone who gets jealous if another person checks you, or you check them out. Someone who questions your choice of outfit on a night out, someone who asks who you're texting a lot etc...

That all sounds kinda controlling tbh and it might be flattering that someone is possessive to begin with but the novelty would soon wear off

Yeah that's true, the most toxic relationship i ever had was with someone who questioned my every move, ironically it was her who cheated on me in the end. When she went out for a work do, and slept with another man. I forgave her, but her possessiveness got worse because in her mind i was gonna cheat on her to get her back, i didn't, and i wasn't. That relationship was a mess.

She would go out at weekends, maybe once a month with her work friends, and she ALWAYS asked why i was fine with it. I just said "well i trust you" and she knew i was fine with her flirting.

[Alf]

Wash the pots, do the ironing and clean the house. And put out when I want a bit of the other.

I'm very old fashioned. But it worked well.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Alf

Wash the pots, do the ironing and clean the house. And put out when I want a bit of the other.

I'm very old fashioned. But it worked well.

Your bloody single Alf

[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Your bloody single Alf

thats why it worked well

[Alf]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Your bloody single Alf

Yeah, I could never be in a relationship in the modern World.

I'm a man and men historically like to
do their own thing.

Even in the 1980's and the families I grew up around. The mother would ve the rules of the home. The father would go to work and then be sent to the pub to get out of the house.

Men today have been feminised and women have been tricked into thinking that they need to go out and earn a living. All through propaganda.

I know that I can't tell the modern woman that. They think I'm disrespecting them, but it's really not that. I just grew up amongst woman who ruled the home. And fathers that brought the money in.

The women still ruled. They would be in charge of the money. The husband would get some pocket money to sod off out of the house.

The changes in the laws in divorce was tragic for the family unit. While women think it was great for them, it was tragic for the children.

[Alf]

Just to mention. Just because I don't agree with the laws introduced for divorce. It doesn't mean I have anything against those that do go through divorce.

My father and mother divorced when I was twelve years old. So I know from experience from a boy about to start his teens that it's a devastating thing to happen to a child's life.

It doesn't mean I dislike my parents or anything. I love them both very much and they have brought me up enough to know right from wrong.

I do think I would have had a much more prosperous life had my family stayed together. I certainly wouldn't have taken the liberties I did if my father was around permanently. I pretty much stopped going to School at 14. That wouldn't have happened if my dad was permanently around. I also probably wouldn't have become a pot head for a lot of my life.

I think a family unit is essential for a child's upbringing and that's my opinion from experience. If you want to divorce then at least wait until the child has grown into an adult would be my advice.

But we can only learn from experience. So those that haven't experienced it know no better.

But the Liberal divorce laws destroyed a lot and a lot of young lives. No matter whether you think they're good laws or not.

It's probably why I love being single and just like doing my own thing. The modern ways are not set up in my favour. So sod em'

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Alf

Just to mention. Just because I don't agree with the laws introduced for divorce. It doesn't mean I have anything against those that do go through divorce.

My father and mother divorced when I was twelve years old. So I know from experience from a boy about to start his teens that it's a devastating thing to happen to a child's life.

It doesn't mean I dislike my parents or anything. I love them both very much and they have brought me up enough to know right from wrong.

I do think I would have had a much more prosperous life had my family stayed together. I certainly wouldn't have taken the liberties I did if my father was around permanently. I pretty much stopped going to School at 14. That wouldn't have happened if my dad was permanently around. I also probably wouldn't have become a pot head for a lot of my life.

I think a family unit is essential for a child's upbringing and that's my opinion from experience. If you want to divorce then at least wait until the child has grown into an adult would be my advice.

But we can only learn from experience. So those that haven't experienced it know no better.

But the Liberal divorce laws destroyed a lot and a lot of young lives. No matter whether you think they're good laws or not.

It's probably why I love being single and just like doing my own thing. The modern ways are not set up in my favour. So sod em'

It's all personal experiences though.

I am a single parent of a 12 year old boy....his dad is not really in his life so I am mum and dad. He is an amazing kid. He does well at school, he is polite and respectful. He hasn't had a male role model since he was 5. Divorce doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing for kids. It was far healthier for my son to be brought up by me alone.

[smudgie]

Somebody that respects me being me, unconditional trust helps.

[Alf]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

It's all personal experiences though.

I am a single parent of a 12 year old boy....his dad is not really in his life so I am mum and dad. He is an amazing kid. He does well at school, he is polite and respectful. He hasn't had a male role model since he was 5. Divorce doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing for kids. It was far healthier for my son to be brought up by me alone.

Yeah, that's a different experience from me. I had the first twelve years of my life growing up in a family unit. And then at a big stage in my life (coming into my teens) that life I knew and grown up in and I was normalised with was changed forever.

I know myself that I was a totally different person. I chose life paths that I wouldn't have done if I'd have been in a family unit.

My dad worked during the week so I only really saw him on the odd weekend. And because my mother became a single parent, she went out to work which meant I would stay off school because there was nobody there to make me go. So while most kids my age where doing there exams, I was getting stoned in my bedroom.

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Alf

Yeah, that's a different experience from me. I had the first twelve years of my life growing up in a family unit. And then at a big stage in my life (coming into my teens) that life I knew and grown up in and I was normalised with was changed forever.

I know myself that I was a totally different person. I chose life paths that I wouldn't have done if I'd have been in a family unit.

My dad worked during the week so I only really saw him on the odd weekend. And because my mother became a single parent, she went out to work which meant I would stay off school because there was nobody there to make me go. So while most kids my age where doing there exams, I was getting stoned in my bedroom.

I still don't agree that's necessarily because of divorce though....both my parents worked so I was a latch key kid from about the age of 7. I took myself to school and back.....no one checked I went but I did. My folks were together but had to work because they were trying to give us the best....but because they that took on a mortgage when interest rates are double what they are now.....we were skint. We owned a house but my dad worked 2 jobs and mum worked full time. That's what being a family is.....not mum staying home and baking apple pies and saying wait till your dad gets home. In my eyes anyway. Whether its one parent or both.....in my case we don't really have a pot to piss in but my kid know right from wrong, goes to school, I have a house and we do what we can afford to have a good life....its all I can do. Better than the life he would have had if I stayed with his.dad

[rusticgal]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Your bloody single Alf

Now we know why…

[rusticgal]

Originally Posted by Alf

Just to mention. Just because I don't agree with the laws introduced for divorce. It doesn't mean I have anything against those that do go through divorce.

My father and mother divorced when I was twelve years old. So I know from experience from a boy about to start his teens that it's a devastating thing to happen to a child's life.

It doesn't mean I dislike my parents or anything. I love them both very much and they have brought me up enough to know right from wrong.

I do think I would have had a much more prosperous life had my family stayed together. I certainly wouldn't have taken the liberties I did if my father was around permanently. I pretty much stopped going to School at 14. That wouldn't have happened if my dad was permanently around. I also probably wouldn't have become a pot head for a lot of my life.

I think a family unit is essential for a child's upbringing and that's my opinion from experience. If you want to divorce then at least wait until the child has grown into an adult would be my advice.

But we can only learn from experience. So those that haven't experienced it know no better.

But the Liberal divorce laws destroyed a lot and a lot of young lives. No matter whether you think they're good laws or not.

It's probably why I love being single and just like doing my own thing. The modern ways are not set up in my favour. So sod em'

Very honest Alf…xx

[Soldier Boy]

Just to throw another perspective into this Alf/Annie debate here...

My parents fell completely out of love/or even like when I was about 10 - if they ever truly loved each other I don't know. They did at least talk/get on before that. I never saw them being genuinely close though.

They "stayed together for the kids". We all lived together, very middle class life, very middle class house (1600's, old detached house). They didn't talk to each other except when they had to. From when I was 13 onwards they slept in separate rooms. In fact they barely spent more than 10 minutes in the same room at all. But we had plenty of food in the cupboards, plenty of "stuff", a lovely house.

It is a miserable existence and I will adamantly state that no one, ever should have to live like that. I look back on my early teens as an absolutely joyless void. I loved my late teens ... because I developed a social life and independence so most of the time I simply wasn't there and didn't have to deal with it. I have a vivid memory of being in the car with my stuff packed up moving away to University and it literally feeling like the sky was brighter and the whole world was lighter.

Living with parents who simply don't want to live together is worse than having parents separate... honestly I can only say that it must be.

If people want to divorce and separate, just let them. And if anyone happens to be reading who ever considers staying together "for the sake of the kids" I hope you remember this post and trust me when I say it's not for the kids. Living with parents who can't stand each other is a cold, dark nightmare of a "home".

Happy Sunday .

P.S. My mum was rapidly descending into alcoholism for the last 3 years of this and was dead within 10 years of them splitting when I was 18. So I suspect it's not good for anyone!