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Old 14-09-2021, 10:47 AM   #1
Alf
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Default Alright, darling?

Do you see it as flattery or being demeaning?



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Old 14-09-2021, 10:59 AM   #2
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I call my daughters darling as in if they send me another pic of them on a night out I reply "Lovely darling" (as i am not allowed to reply with just a thumbs up)

But I would never refer to a lady i did not know as love, darling, mate, hun.

Im not sure what Id say if i was trying to attract say a women's attention if they had dropped a tenner or maybe if i had dropped my wallet and they came up and said "you dropped this" or some such thing?

With a man Id say "Pal"
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Old 14-09-2021, 11:04 AM   #3
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i say "excuse me" when trying to attract anyones attention and just say it louder and louder until the person i want acknowledges my communication
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Old 14-09-2021, 11:05 AM   #4
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I always say "thanks love" when I'm being served by a female at the shops. It's not something I plan or think through, It just comes as a natural thing for me to do. I'm thanking her for her helpful service and I always grew up with words like "love" "darling" and "sweetheart" being a pleasent thing and a compliment.
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Old 14-09-2021, 11:19 AM   #5
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Yes Good Clip Alf


Good on Mercy on the New News Channel.
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Old 14-09-2021, 11:41 AM   #6
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I wouldn't do it personally and I think it's something that's outdated, so not something I'd encourage. On the other hand I don't think older people who do it are INTENDING to be demeaning in any way and when it's "habitual speak" it's not necessarily as simple as consciously not doing it, it probably just comes out, so I'm not looking at old folks who use these terms and thinking "ugh how awful".

Up here it's "hen", of course .
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Old 14-09-2021, 11:55 AM   #7
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i mean im offended by bro and dude as it just sounds ridiculous

even "Guys" sounds a bit iffy
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Old 14-09-2021, 11:59 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet View Post
i mean im offended by bro and dude as it just sounds ridiculous

even "Guys" sounds a bit iffy
I used to get the occasional "you're a gentleman and a scholar" which I quite enjoyed as it is obviously accurate.

I also had an elderly fellow tell me that I could have been "A star of the silver screen" which is honestly one of the best compliments I've ever received.
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Old 14-09-2021, 12:02 PM   #9
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....it means my husband wants something
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Old 14-09-2021, 12:25 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alf View Post
I always say "thanks love" when I'm being served by a female at the shops. It's not something I plan or think through, It just comes as a natural thing for me to do. I'm thanking her for her helpful service and I always grew up with words like "love" "darling" and "sweetheart" being a pleasent thing and a compliment.

Same here Alf .. I still use ‘lovely’ or ‘darlin’ on a daily basis - never had a issue .

Guys just get ‘bud’ .

I’m dreadful with names .


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Old 14-09-2021, 12:33 PM   #11
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I don’t use it on strangers
I get called it a lot and sweetheart and love normally billy older women
If you come across as polite and friendly then people will say it to you and if you use some place regularly
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Old 14-09-2021, 12:55 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toy Soldier View Post
I wouldn't do it personally and I think it's something that's outdated, so not something I'd encourage. On the other hand I don't think older people who do it are INTENDING to be demeaning in any way and when it's "habitual speak" it's not necessarily as simple as consciously not doing it, it probably just comes out, so I'm not looking at old folks who use these terms and thinking "ugh how awful".

Up here it's "hen", of course .
Who gets to decide if something is outdated or not? Could I declare Coca Cola outdated and nobody is allowed to drink it anymore?
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Old 14-09-2021, 01:05 PM   #13
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It doesn't bother me if it is used in a kind way, when it is used aggressively as can be done on forums then just no...
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Old 14-09-2021, 01:17 PM   #14
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I don't really care what people call me - it takes a lot for me to get personally offended over things like that
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Old 14-09-2021, 01:44 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alf View Post
Who gets to decide if something is outdated or not? Could I declare Coca Cola outdated and nobody is allowed to drink it anymore?
Nobody "declares" it, times and trends change, that's just what happens .
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Old 14-09-2021, 01:51 PM   #16
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Quote:
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Nobody "declares" it, times and trends change, that's just what happens .
But nobody can stop it, nobody can stop me saying "love" or "darling" so what they're moaning about is pointless.

I've just been called "love" by the woman serving me in the bakers. I returned the compliment. The World kept turning.
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Old 14-09-2021, 02:06 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alf View Post
But nobody can stop it, nobody can stop me saying "love" or "darling" so what they're moaning about is pointless.

I've just been called "love" by the woman serving me in the bakers. I returned the compliment. The World kept turning.
No one has said anything about "stopping" anyone, I said I find it a bit outdated (old-fashioned might have been a better word) and also that it's not something I'd encourage which is again purely a statement of personal opinion.
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Old 14-09-2021, 02:19 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alf View Post
But nobody can stop it, nobody can stop me saying "love" or "darling" so what they're moaning about is pointless.

I've just been called "love" by the woman serving me in the bakers. I returned the compliment. The World kept turning.

Its a term of endearment in most cases...to some people its part of their everyday conversation....just like the word 'Hen' up North. Personally I never use it in that terminology but many do.
It can be used in a demeaning way....by people who think they are clever and always think they are right...and thats the tell-tale sign
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Old 14-09-2021, 02:26 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rusticgal View Post
Its a term of endearment in most cases...to some people its part of their everyday conversation....just like the word 'Hen' up North. Personally I never use it in that terminology but many do.
It can be used in a demeaning way....by people who think they are clever and always think they are right...and thats the tell-tale sign
Intention is important, though the most important thing is obviously respecting people's requests. i.e. if someone asks not to call them love/darling/hen/mate/pal or whatever else, people should obviously respect that, and if they were to continue after being asked to stop (and it wasn't obviously an accident/slipped their mind) then you have to assume it's pointed... at which point you can functionally regard it as an insult.
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Old 14-09-2021, 02:42 PM   #20
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Women say it to men more often than men to women
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Old 14-09-2021, 02:43 PM   #21
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Quote:
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Women say it to men more often than men to women
Link to those stats Parm?
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Old 14-09-2021, 04:19 PM   #22
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Quote:
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i mean im offended by bro and dude as it just sounds ridiculous

even "Guys" sounds a bit iffy
"Guy's" is very American. I think we picked it up off Sloth, from The Goonies.
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Old 14-09-2021, 04:31 PM   #23
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Quote:
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Link to those stats Parm?
Have you never been called darling by a woman?
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Old 14-09-2021, 04:40 PM   #24
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Quote:
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Have you never been called darling by a woman?
I don't know if I ever got a "darling". I got lots of "Ma honey". A lot of "son" from older ladies.



From the older fellers it tended to be either "Big Man" or "Shagger" .

[edit] ... or less flattering things at other times.
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Old 14-09-2021, 04:42 PM   #25
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How not to speak to a wee lassie in Glasgow

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