[GoldHeart]

This is partly relatable but also very tongue in cheek, I found this on daily smash .

OUR eternal lockdown has left us all over-reliant on parcel deliveries. But where in the general vicinity of your postcode has your package been left this time? .


On the doorstep = Without ringing the bell, or they rang and you were out, or they rang simply by thinking ‘ding’. With luck you’ll see it before a local toerag saunters past and picks it up, hoping for a PS5 and discarding it angrily when it’s a box of shoe stretchers you ordered at 2am just to feel something.


With your neighbour= Who hates you so will never come round with your parcel, meaning you have to take a deep breath, knock on their door and ask for it. They’ll flatly deny they have your nice new hat while standing there wearing your nice new hat. You’ll click ‘delivery not received’ like a coward.


In a safe place, one = And where could be safer than inside your wheelie bin? Who’d think of looking there? Not you, hunting around for the new top you ordered Sunday afternoon to cheer yourself up, never thinking to dig beneath pizza boxes and cat litter. And not the binmen, who empty it unknowing and uncaring.


In a safe place, two = Congratulations! You’ve entered a treasure hunt, where all you know is that the new coffee-table art book you won on eBay is somewhere on your property. Being rained on. Cardboard does not take rain well, especially not 18 hours of it, and by the time you find the prize it’s a soaked brick.

In the quantum dimension = You get an email to say it’s been delivered, but it hasn’t. The shop says it was sent to the carrier. The carrier says they never received it. The driver says the carrier must have loaded it onto another van’s route. The depot says they’ve never heard of you and pass you back to the shop. The shop says your order number doesn’t exist on their system. It was only some hair bobbles.


In the depot = The parcel depot is 15 miles away and opens from 10am to 3pm on weekdays. You have to sneak out from work to collect it within 30 days or it’ll be returned so it’s a race against time like in action films. Except you don’t save the world from terrorists detonating nukes, you just get that pack of printer cartridges you ordered.

[Cherie]

Although DHL and Hermes take a photo now to prove delivery

[Lewismacfarlane]

We've stopped taking parcels in for next door they never come to get them

[Toy Soldier]

My absolute FAVOURITE was a few years ago: they left my wife's brand new iPhone in the blue recycling wheely bin ... ... ... ... of a house 5 doors down. When the occupant was on holiday. The company couldn't trace what had happened to it so they just sent another out. Two weeks later, the person from that house came back from their holiday, and came knocking the door, having found it (a card had been put through their door). We were honest and returned it to the company but, if the occupant of that house (or we) had decided to keep it, no one would have been any the wiser.

[GoldHeart]

The cheesecake episode from Friends comes to mind .

Youtube video

[Vicky.]

My mam had a delivery not turn up not long back. She chased it and they said they had left it in shed to start with but she said no, and there had been nothing to say 'its in your shed' either. They then 'realised' they were looking at the wrong order so sorry, hers was actually with a neighbour. So she asked both immediate neighbours and neither had it. It was then claimed that it might have gone to another neighbour and it was recommended that she knock on all people in her street to see if it went there. And if that didnt work try the street behind as sometimes people get the streets mixed up She looked so mad when I couldn't stop laughing at this whole ridiculous thing as she was ranting about it but now does see the funny side after chargebacking the lying ridiculous pisstaking dickheads and just ordering elsewhere.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

My absolute FAVOURITE was a few years ago: they left my wife's brand new iPhone in the blue recycling wheely bin ... ... ... ... of a house 5 doors down. When the occupant was on holiday. The company couldn't trace what had happened to it so they just sent another out. Two weeks later, the person from that house came back from their holiday, and came knocking the door, having found it (a card had been put through their door). We were honest and returned it to the company but, if the occupant of that house (or we) had decided to keep it, no one would have been any the wiser.

This happened to me with a mobile phone. Was unfortunately a cheapish one, about 150 quid rather than a decent one which would have been much better (damn me and my tightness when buying electronics really..). I was less than honest and saw the extra as compensation for my trouble and stress of losing a phone I never had but then had 2 of

Edit. 'This happened to me' - Not the neighbour and bin thing. It just got stuck in depot or something it seems. But then I was told it was delivered and so on. Then they sent another out, but I think they thought I was lying about not having recieved it, when I wasnt. Then the original just appeared days later.

[Toy Soldier]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

This happened to me with a mobile phone. Was unfortunately a cheapish one, about 150 quid rather than a decent one which would have been much better (damn me and my tightness when buying electronics really..). I was less than honest and saw the extra as compensation for my trouble and stress of losing a phone I never had but then had 2 of

Edit. 'This happened to me' - Not the neighbour and bin thing. It just got stuck in depot or something it seems. But then I was told it was delivered and so on. Then they sent another out, but I think they thought I was lying about not having recieved it, when I wasnt. Then the original just appeared days later.

I’m pretty sure the delivery driver got fired or disciplined in our case because they at first insisted it had been delivered, but it was supposed to be signed and when they checked the driver’s records the signature box was of course blank so they probably thought he stole it or something. That was partially why we returned it when we found it. It was at Christmas so a crazy busy time for delivery drivers and the poor bugger probably thought it would be fine to leave it and put a card through. Which it would have been … if he’d gone to the right house

[bitontheslide]

i'm pretty lucky, i know my amazon delivery man now after a couple of years of delivery, so nothing ever goes astray