[Redway]

“The more the merrier” or would you rather everyone pissed off (unless they’re helping you cook and have a clearly-defined role so they’re not just hovering around you and taking up space)? (I know thread-initiation of any kind isn’t the norm on a Friday night but that doesn’t bother me at this point.)

[Zizu]

Just me .. I need to be in complete control


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[Redway]

I bet there are so many untold tales on here of people starving whenever their house/flat-mates were/are in the kitchen. I never used to mind it that much but the people I’ve lived with over the past year has pushed the limits of kitchen propriety so much (at one point the only thing they didn’t do was do a number two in there) that I’m only comfortable using a kitchen when I’m around people I know well (and even then I’d rather they didn’t talk to me unless they’re helping me out). Otherwise I’ll just have to wait for whoever it is to get the cue to leave and free up some space.

[Redway]

Random housemates who treat the kitchen like it’s their family home are the worst. It’s fine when there’s a mutual somewhat personable connection between all of you but when not everyone there is tight like that you are going to have to realise that not everyone’s comfortable walking into a kitchen full of people they don’t really know or like that much every time they want to make a meal. You just can’t be in there for 20 hours at a time with all your mates when it’s like that.

[parmnion]

I usually just take a step back and let them take over while I wash up whilst they go.

[Redway]

I echo that in the sense that I pretty much always end up washing up after everyone else whenever I go into a shared kitchen but I can’t be there while they’re there unless I’m specifically going in for a bit of chit-chat (it was all good when I first started sharing accommodation with people but not anymore). When I’m in the kitchen I’m just there to make a cuppa or something to eat, not hang about making small talk (otherwise I wouldn’t guard myself up with headphones/AirPods hoping people get the cue to not do that nonsense with me). I can be conversationally-on for people I vibe with in at least a somewhat personable way but not when it’s people I don’t know like that who feel obligated out of social politeness. It’s more disruptive and rude/inconsiderate than anything else, if anything. Can I not just blaze Stormzy/Depeche Mode on my way to-and-fro the kitchen for a cup of water without someone roping me into some random discussion about the weather or the fact that I mostly wear black and purple ASOS clothes?

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by parmnion

I usually just take a step back and let them take over while I wash up whilst they go.

Yes that is option 2 for me


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[joeysteele]

They are told politely to clear off.

[Redway]

I tried polite until it got to a stage where I was having to send them a dissertation-and-a-half individually explaining to them why it’s not okay to keep the kitchen hostage from 10 a.m. to 05.30 the next morning (the people I lived with earlier this year really were that bad when it came to that as well as noise) and they were only willing to compromise half the time. With any other set of flatmates I had it wasn’t half as bad so I tolerated a lot but never have I lived with people as inconsiderate, obnoxiously-loud and entitled as the people I lived with from last October (although they weren’t that bad in the beginning) till the middle of this month (two or so of them were just fine on that front but everyone else really took the piss after the first few months). When you’re single-handedly stopping the place from becoming infested with all sorts of creepy-crawlies (no-one else bothered to clean) and leaving snacks on the table every Friday as a kind gesture the least you deserve is a bit of space to actually use the kitchen to cook (not just clean up after everyone else) and when you’re hardly granted even that it’s just long.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by parmnion

I usually just take a step back and let them take over while I wash up whilst they go.

Yes that is option 2 for me


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[Redway]

I obviously wasn’t the only one who was pissed off by it all but I was the only one willing to be honest with them about how irritating it was. Not that me complaining effected that much change (none that lasted any more than two days at a time, anyway):

[Alf]

Simply, politely tell them to fook off. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Redway]

That doesn’t always work though. Some people will do what they want unless you actually call the police on them and being a kitchen-hog sadly doesn’t constitute as a criminal offence (if only it did).

[hijaxers]

Originally Posted by Redway

That doesn’t always work though. Some people will do what they want unless you actually call the police on them and being a kitchen-hog sadly doesn’t constitute as a criminal offence (if only it did).

Aww i feel sorry for you , i've not really ever been in that position ~ i had a bedsit or large room with kitchen, then a flat and eventually a house ! I hopee you get to a stage where your circumstances change ~ not a hope in hell with the state of this country right now. We won't even be able to afford to cook by Xmas.

[MTVN]

Never liked it, living in a shared house I'd always eat my meals pretty late so that I'd be the only one in the kitchen because I'm a grumpy and unsociable bugger

Even when I was living at home it annoyed me because either my Dad would be peering over my shoulder asking if there was any for him or my Mum would be there going 'ohh you're doing it like that are you', 'are you sure you're not burning it' etc.

[AnnieK]

I hate it when people hover....either help or move. I don't mind someone talking to me but if they are in my way every time I turn round it drives me mad.

Although, what's worse is when I'm cooking and my son comes into the kitchen every 3 minutes to ask "is it ready yet?" Or "how long is it gonna be". One day I'm going to cook him

[AnnieK]

I hate it when people hover....either help or move. I don't mind someone talking to me but if they are in my way every time I turn round it drives me mad.

Although, what's worse is when I'm cooking and my son comes into the kitchen every 3 minutes to ask "is it ready yet?" Or "how long is it gonna be". One day I'm going to cook him

[Redway]

Originally Posted by hijaxers

Aww i feel sorry for you , i've not really ever been in that position ~ i had a bedsit or large room with kitchen, then a flat and eventually a house ! I hopee you get to a stage where your circumstances change ~ not a hope in hell with the state of this country right now. We won't even be able to afford to cook by Xmas.

It’s a shame because the accommodation was actually very nice (I had to go elsewhere a few weeks ago, like I said, for purely logistical reasons) and I very much enjoyed living there but when the people you’re living with (bar about two) have zero concept of personal space and just hover around you when you’re not in your room it gets suffocating pretty fast. I like to be as cordial and easy-going as possible when it comes to people I live with but people feeling entitled to take up more space than they’re paying to at the expense of everyone else’s freedom and comfort (which they’re paying a lot for as well) just doesn’t jibe well with me.

[LeatherTrumpet]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Although, what's worse is when I'm cooking and my son comes into the kitchen every 3 minutes to ask "is it ready yet?" Or "how long is it gonna be". One day I'm going to cook him

mine is way too lazy to get up and just shouts "is my tea ready yet?"

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Redway

It’s a shame because the accommodation was actually very nice (I had to go elsewhere a few weeks ago, like I said, for purely logistical reasons) and I very much enjoyed living there but when the people you’re living with (bar about two) have zero concept of personal space and just hover around you when you’re not in your room it gets suffocating pretty fast. I like to be as cordial and easy-going as possible when it comes to people I live with but people feeling entitled to take up more space than they’re paying to at the expense of everyone else’s freedom and comfort (which they’re paying a lot for as well) just doesn’t jibe well with me.

How many people were in this accommodation

[Redway]

Originally Posted by MTVN

How many people were in this accommodation

About 5 or 6 (plus the friend-guests who might as well have lived there at one point as well) but the amount of noise and space-invasion that came from just that number of people (bar the two or so respectful ones) was unbelievable. They wanted me to open up with them because they found me cool and interesting enough but the way my boundaries are set now are such that I just don’t engage with people who don’t show basic respect and consideration beyond cordial morning ‘grunts.’ If you have to be virtually dragged out of the kitchen at an ungodly hour before you get the hint that other people live with you as well you’re not worth my social presence no matter how much I might’ve liked you in the beginning. You have to make it easy to be around in the first place if you want other people around you.

[Vanessa]

Tell them to get out

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Vanessa

Tell them to get out

But is it something you actually mind?

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Never liked it, living in a shared house I'd always eat my meals pretty late so that I'd be the only one in the kitchen because I'm a grumpy and unsociable bugger

Even when I was living at home it annoyed me because either my Dad would be peering over my shoulder asking if there was any for him or my Mum would be there going 'ohh you're doing it like that are you', 'are you sure you're not burning it' etc.

Am I your Mum

[Cherie]

I don't like people hovering and unless they are helping they can get out, I normally just like to get on and do stuff myself if I am cooking, same if someone else is cooking I just stay out