[Redway]

Originally Posted by Christmas Lights

Well William himself has basically given his own godmother a dressing down ,so either he really believes she was offensive.... or it's fear of backlash with the palace? .

Whole thing is such a mess , the more I think about it ....the more I think Hussey really didn't mean to cause offence.

However if it's true that she moved Ngozi's hair to see her name badge,then that is overstepping it on Hussey's part . You can't invade someone's personal space.

But now hearing about Ngozi's charity being investigated ,I don't know what to make of her anymore.

And apart from that there’s a whole socio-political thing about touching black women’s hair and how it’s grossly inappropriate. Invasion of personal space is just an annoying part of day-to-day life and I’m sure Ngozi knows that and wouldn’t have reacted like she did if it was just that.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Redway

I like what you’re implying overall but a person’s accent depends more on who they spent the most time hanging around with in their formative years, not necessarily where they just happened to be born. People’s accents can change and it’s easier to pick up on another accent if you weren’t even old enough to talk properly when you left your original home.

I suppose that's a fair point.

Surely she would've had some Londoner friends though, what I mean by that is sometimes people pick up lingo from their friends, including sometimes regional accents.

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Rustic Bauble

Yes…she was told that in her resignation she apologises for any offence caused and Ngozi said she didn’t accept her apology…cannot remember the channel it was on. Now however she finally accepts it..

An indirect apology in her resgination is not an apology though is it? That's like me offending you then saying in a PM to Cherie that I was sorry if I pissed you off. I wouldn't accept that kind of apology either.

[bitontheslide]

the charity is only being investigated because of all the fuss. There are hundreds of charities all being run poorly, where nothing has been done year after year

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Christmas Lights

However if it's true that she moved Ngozi's hair to see her name badge,then that is overstepping it on Hussey's part . You can't invade someone's personal space.

It might not have been particularly appropriate, but if you're going to wear a name badge, maybe make sure it's not being obscured by dreads?

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by SantaslettertoMeghan

the charity is only being investigated because of all the fuss. There are hundreds of charities all being run poorly, where nothing has been done year after year

And if one of those other charities stepped into the spotlight making spurrious claims, they'd be investigated too.

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

An indirect apology in her resgination is not an apology though is it? That's like me offending you then saying in a PM to Cherie that I was sorry if I pissed you off. I wouldn't accept that kind of apology either.

You are right.
That is in no way an apology at all.
Nor was her resignation one.

My own suspicious mind has me feeling she's more than likely been told to apologise directly in person.
After the time that's passed where she clearly chose not to at all in person.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Holiver_and_Ivy

It might not have been particularly appropriate, but if you're going to wear a name badge, maybe make sure it's not being obscured by dreads?

Then she should have asked if she can see her badge ,you don't put your hands on a stranger's hair. Even when you know the person ... it can still be rude.

[parmnion]

Originally Posted by Rustic Bauble

Charity boss suddenly changes her mind and accepts the apology after originally refusing it because of the backlash she got….

And with that, her accounting worries will magically disappear.

[parmnion]

Originally Posted by joeysteele

Perhaps she should have apologised directly in person before rather than a lip service apology.

However now she has done so in person which is the correct way, which she should have known after decades of professional service.
Better late than never.

I'd love to know why this moment however has been chosen after the time already past.
Anyhow it's commendable she has done so, or possibly been made to do so actually IN person.

One simple question to Marlene.

Marlene, do you want the checks on your charities accounting to disappear?

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by parmnion

One simple question to Marlene.

Marlene, do you want the checks on your charities accounting to disappear?

That's a whole different issue.

I'm sure she would however and it's a valid question.

[LeatherTrumpet]

some facts about the Fulani...

https://www.opendoorsusa.org/christi...thern-nigeria/

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Holiver_and_Ivy

It might not have been particularly appropriate, but if you're going to wear a name badge, maybe make sure it's not being obscured by dreads?

They weren’t dreads. What I’d say for Marlene’s coiffure and costume is that they were just bizarre full-stop (so many black people agree on this). Everyone has the right to wear pretty-much whatever they want but dressed like that I would’ve been more interested in what planet she was from rather than which country. The hair was horrendous.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Redway

They weren’t dreads. What I’d say for Marlene’s coiffure and costume is that they were just bizarre full-stop (so many black people agree on this). Everyone has the right to wear pretty-much whatever they want but dressed like that I would’ve been more interested in what planet she was from rather than which country. The hair was horrendous.

That's how she referred to her hair I'd say they're dreads in the same way that Jedward have mohawks

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Holiver_and_Ivy

That's how she referred to her hair I'd say they're dreads in the same way that Jedward have mohawks

However she referred to it, any normal person wouldn’t be tempted to touch it. It didn’t look good at all if we’re being honest.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Redway

However she referred to it, any normal person wouldn’t be tempted to touch it. It didn’t look good at all if we’re being honest.

Oh I've never denied it was bad manners.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Holiver_and_Ivy

Oh I've never denied it was bad manners.

And listen, Oliver, what’s your opinion on the link between autism and gender-identity confusion (this is one for my other thread)? I don’t like to play to gender stereotypes at all but there may be an element of truth to the claim that autism and Asperger’s (not that I’m super-sold on those labels as we use them today) are an exaggeration of certain stereotypical masculine qualities (which is one reason why the majority of diagnoses obviously go to males) but at the same time there’s a certain androgyny and gender-ambiguity that a lot of people on the spectrum report and they’re probably slightly over-represented in people who choose to biologically transition so it’s a tricky one. Y’know?

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Redway

And listen, Oliver, what’s your opinion on the link between autism and gender-identity confusion (this is one for my other thread)? I don’t like to play to gender stereotypes at all but there may be an element of truth to the claim that autism and Asperger’s (not that I’m super-sold on those labels as we use them today) are an exaggeration of certain stereotypical masculine qualities (which is one reason why the majority of diagnoses obviously go to males) but at the same time there’s a certain androgyny and gender-ambiguity that a lot of people on the spectrum report and they’re probably slightly over-represented in people who choose to biologically transition so it’s a tricky one. Y’know?

Neuro-atypicality is something I've definitely heard of as being common in trans-identified people, as is those who've suffered some form of child abuse.

It could be that (for want of better phrasing) the autistic view of femininity and masculinity is seen as more literal, and someone who acts in a way which is contrary to gender norms "must be" trans?

[rusticgal]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

An indirect apology in her resgination is not an apology though is it? That's like me offending you then saying in a PM to Cherie that I was sorry if I pissed you off. I wouldn't accept that kind of apology either.

Many would….

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Holiver_and_Ivy

Neuro-atypicality is something I've definitely heard of as being common in trans-identified people, as is those who've suffered some form of child abuse.

It could be that (for want of better phrasing) the autistic view of femininity and masculinity is seen as more literal, and someone who acts in a way which is contrary to gender norms "must be" trans?

But then (especially with the widening of the concept of autism that’s been communicated to the lay-public) a lot of people with other disorders that might cause deficits in things like non-verbal communication (complex p.t.s.d., dysthymic depression that goes untreated for a long time) are often mislabelled as autistic by people who don’t understand them and in those cases there’s often a certain asexuality resulting from it which is less a reflection of them than it is the loss of energy and interest in a wide variety of things so it’s hard to tell how accurate the data about trans. ideas being somewhat higher in the autistic community. There’s definitely something going on in-between all that but what’s truly autism/being a quirky, androgynous weirdo with Asperger’s and what’s complex p.t.s.d. with bad social anxiety and lack of sexual assertion misinterpreted as asexual ambivalence isn’t always easy to tell.

[Livia]

I have lots of family from Germany. Say I changed my name to Helga Schicklgruber and took to wearing a dirndl to a party at the palace. Someone may have asked me, where are you from? I'd I'd have said, east London. And she'd have said no, where are your people from? I would have said, Germany, originally. No one would have had to apologise to anyone. And Marlene's organisation is now under investigation for financial anomalies which is nice. Sistah Space is only available for African or Caribbean women and closed to all other women. Can you imagine a charity available to white women only?

[rusticgal]

Originally Posted by Livia

I have lots of family from Germany. Say I changed my name to Helga Schicklgruber and took to wearing a dirndl to a party at the palace. Someone may have asked me, where are you from? I'd I'd have said, east London. And she'd have said no, where are your people from? I would have said, Germany, originally. No one would have had to apologise to anyone. And Marlene's organisation is now under investigation for financial anomalies which is nice. Sistah Space is only available for African or Caribbean women and closed to all other women. Can you imagine a charity available to white women only?

Exactly Livia….

[LeatherTrumpet]

HMRC do your work

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Redway

And apart from that there’s a whole socio-political thing about touching black women’s hair and how it’s grossly inappropriate. Invasion of personal space is just an annoying part of day-to-day life and I’m sure Ngozi knows that and wouldn’t have reacted like she did if it was just that.

That's quite strange. But it's okay for someone to touch my hair? What's special about a black woman's hair?