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ROB's Little World Come here to read and discuss stories about Helen and Paul written by our very own Romantic Old Bird! |
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Copying this from the 'Loose Women' thread
P: H, I don't like the way that prat Alex spoke to you there. I don't like it at all. H: Why? P: Because he was well out of order. H: Oh Paul, he was just being funny. I think he's funny, don't you? P: No I bloody don't. In fact, if he ever talks to you like that in front of me, I might just land him one. H: Paul Clarke! You're violent, you are! I think I'd better watch out for myself, living with a violent man like you. P: You know I am not violent Helen, and even if I was (which I'm not) I would never ever hurt you. I couldn't. H: Ah, love you, I know you wouldn't, BYLCS! P: I hope you do know Helen, because that just wouldn't be right. I would never do anything to hurt a woman. Ever! H: That's not completely true! P: It is! H: It isn't, because you hurt me once. P: Did I? I didn't, I know I didn't. I never have. H: You have so Mr Clarke P: Alright then, you tell me when I hurt you H: Well... P: You can't, can you? 'Cos I didn't! When did I hurt you? H: It was when you said........ P: Aaah, there you go then, you're talking WORDS. If I said something, it's different. H: Not that different. It made me cry anyway. P: Well I still say it's not the same. What did I say anyway? H: You said: It was 60:40 me. In the house. P: Bloody hell Helen, are you STILL banging on about that? I've said I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it like that H: You did, you always say what you mean P: I try to, 'cos you should do. But that time, it didn't come over right. H: I still worry about that. Is it more me than you, and are you just being nice to me? P: Nice? Living with you sice two weeks after it finished? Buying a house with you? Buying you stuff from Gucci, and Cartier, and having my picture taken in a flaming PINK towel! H: It wasn't flaming pink Paul, it was Cherry Pink. It says so on the label. 'Minnie Mouse Cherry Pink Beach Towel' P: OK then, Cherry bloody pink, it don't matter, it's the idea. Me looking like a complete idiot in that towel H: I thought you looked lovely P: Well, you were probably the only one who did! H: I was worried about you. P: Why? H: I thought you might get cold, sitting there P: Helen, we were in the Maldives! It's hot there H: I know it is. P: Well then. H: I want taking no chances with my Mr Clarke P: You're not joking. 36 degrees in the shade, and she thinks I'll catch I cold! H: You laughing at me, Paul Clarke? P: Yeah! H: Why? P: Cos H: Cos I make you laugh? P: Always. Since the day I met you. Even when I didn't like you, you still made me laugh. H: It's good we can always laugh, don't you think, Paul? P: It is Helen H: So, what do you think I should have said to that Alex then? P: Nothing I suppose. He wasn't worth the effort H: Of getting upset? P: No, definitely not H: That's what I thought. So I didn't. P: No, you were brilliant with him babe H: I was, wasn't I? P: Yeah H: So Paul, that means, I was right. P: I suppose H: And in that case, that means, you were wrong P: I'm not saying that! H: You are! P: I'm not! H: Yes you are, you said you supposed I was right, and that I was brilliant P: Well, I was being diplomatic H: So you didn't mean it then? P: Well, yeah, and ...no.. H: Paul, you are hopeless. P: Well, I just don't like anyone giving you a hard time. You're too nice. H: Am I? P: Yeah, and kind H: Don't forget loving P: Well, I wouldn't, would I? You are loving. H: And touchy feely? P: Well you are very tactile H: Paul! P: What? H: I don't like it when you call me that. P: What, Tactile? H: Yes. P: Helen, tactile is good. It means you are very sensitive to touch, and that you like to touch other people. It's about liking getting close to people. H: It doesn't mean oversexed then? P: No, course not. Just, well, sensual H: That sounds even worse P: Well it's not. It's good. It's nice that you are tactile, and sensual. I like that about you. H: Only like? P: No, I love it. H: That's alright then P: Right H: Paul? P: Yeah? H: Do you want your dinner soon P: If it's ready, I must admit I am totally starving mate. H: It is P: Blinding H: Oh, alright then P: Why did you want to do something else first? H: I thought you might want me to get tactile P: Well, you should have thought of that first. H: Dinner can wait, can't it? P: Well, I'm starving now. You've made me think about food. H: Well you've made me think about other stuff. Don't you want a cuddle? P: I want my dinner, actually. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.. H: If you say so Paul P: Cool. Can I eat it here, while I watch the Athletics H: If you like P: Cheers H: Here's your dinner then P: Hang on babe, I'm just watching the relay final. Just put it on my lap. H: If you want me to, here it is then P: Cheers..............AAAAAAARRRRGGGHHH what the bloody hell??? H: Don't you like it? P: Like it? I'm injured for life. I'll never be the same again. Why did you put it there? What is it? H: Your tea Paul. You said 'just put it on my lap' P: I know I did, but I thought you meant on a plate H: You don't need a plate for Cornetto P: Well, I didn't think you would put it there. H: Is it really cold? P: Err, YEAH! H: Well, move it then P: I will. Oh God, it's all starting to melt. I'm in a right mess now. Chocolate everywhere. H: mmm P: It's almost as bad as when... H: As when what? P: As when we was in the garden that time H: That's a long time ago Mr Clarke P: That was hilarious H: It was funny P: I had such a job to keep my hands off you that day H: You didn't keep your hands off me P: I tried to H: Well you failed. P: I did H: Was you feeling tactile? P: I was. H: You alright now love? P: No, not really H: Ah, love you. What's the matter with you? P: Well H, I think I might just be feeling tactile again H: And I am. That's good, right? P: That's pretty good, yeah H: So that's two tactiles then! P: But not too tactile! H: Oh Paul, you've lost me again. I'm not much good am I? P: Never mind Helen. It doesn't matter, it really doesn't. H: That's OK then. Later: H: Oh Paul, you've missed the relay. It's all my fault for being tactile. P: Don't worry about it Helen. There will definitely be a replay H: Will there? P: Absolutely H: Fantastic! But do you think they'll show the relay again later? ![]() |
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