[Red Moon]

Spice Girls Pregnancy Betting Odds: Baby

Now that Big Brother has been, outstayed its welcome sightly and then gone again, it's time to look elsewhere for something to give you betting odds on - and where better to look than up the wombs of the Spice Girls?

Why are we doing Spice Girls betting odds? Simple - because there's nothing else to do betting odds about we really really like the Spice Girls. A lot. And we can't wait for the forthcoming Spice Girls reunion concerts at the end of the year. But there's one thing that might well screw up the Spice Girls reunion - a pregnant Spice Girl. Now, although we're told that the Spice Girls are under a strict 'no getting pregnant' rule, what's girl power if it isn't getting unexpectedly knocked up?

All this week we'll be profiling the chances that each of the Spice Girls have of being the first to fall pregnant before they split up again, and we're starting with the least likely. So here are today's Spice Girls pregnancy betting odds - for Baby Spice Emma Bunton - with help from Paddy Power…

Baby - We're pretty sure that Emma Bunton won't be the next Spice Girl to get pregnant, for a couple of reasons. Firstly Emma Bunton has just had a baby, a little boy called Beau, and Emma's going to be be far too busy clearing up milky vomit and wiping ****-covered arses to conceive a baby before the end of the Spice Girls reunion. But enough about Geri Halliwell, because Emma Bunton's got a kid to look after as well. On the other hand, Emma Bunton appears to be in the most stable relationship of any Spice Girl - she's been with Jade Jones for years and has never, as far as we know, had ridiculous flings with men who get paid to do donkey noises in cartoons, the man who wrote our least favourite Tom Hanks movie or a preening millionaire sportsman. Ah, who are we kidding? A couple as stable as Emma Bunton and Jade Jones probably only have sex on Christmas day and the Queen's birthday anyway. Current Spice Girls betting odds - 6/1

Source: Heckler Spray

[Red Moon]

Spice Girls Pregnancy Betting Odds: Ginger

We're continuing to mark the traditional week of emptiness that follows the end of a Big Brother season the only way we can - by shutting our eyes real tight and wishing that someone would knock Geri Halliwell up.

Our fun-filled week of Spice Girls pregnancy betting odds is now halfway through, but if you're new to this, let us explain - the Spice Girls are reforming at the end of this year for a highly lucrative world tour. But, since it's the Spice Girls, something is bound to go horribly wrong before the end of the tour, and we're guessing that it'll be something to do with one of their ovaries. Hence the Spice Girls pregnancy betting odds, where we take a look at each of the Spice Girls and try to work out which one of them is most likely to fall pregnant first before they split up again.

We've already looked at Baby and Scary this week, so here are the Spice Girls pregnancy betting odds for Ginger Spice Geri Halliwell, with help from Paddy Power…

Ginger - Now we're going to admit to you that we don't know the exact status of Geri Halliwell's romantic life, but we can't imagine it's all that great because, well, she's Geri Halliwell. Geri Halliwell already has a baby, the ridiculously-named Bluebell Madonna, but Geri Halliwell's borderline psychotic attention span means that she's probably already bored with it and wants another one, possibly one that's brown or only has one eye like that cute Children In Need bear. Plus a shameless attention-***** like Geri Halliwell will do whatever she can to distinguish herself from the other Spice Girls. Having bizarre-coloured hair doesn't do it any more, and the next natural step up from that is obviously letting some bloke knock her up in the middle of a world tour. And Geri, if you're reading this and you plan to take our advice, the next natural step up from letting some bloke knock you up is to sew your mouth up with a giant knitting needle live on stage. Current Spice Girls betting odds - 3/1

Source: Heckler Spray

[Red Moon]

Spice Girls Pregnancy Betting Odds: Sporty

Our week of poking around the reproductive systems of the Spice Girls and loudly wondering when they're going to get pregnant and make us rich is slowly drawing to a close.

For the newcomers, this week we're looking at some Spice Girls pregnancy betting odds because - even though all of the Spice Girls have reportedly been banned from getting pregnant until their reunion tour is over next year, you must remember that all the Spice Girls are generally stupid and one of them is bound to accidentally get knocked up by some bloke a couple of shows in. For it is the law.

So far we've done Baby Spice, Scary Spice and Ginger Spice, so today here are the Spice Girls pregnancy betting odds for Sporty Spice Mel C, with help from Paddy Power…

Sporty - As things stand now, Mel C is the only childless Spice Girl and - from what we hear - she's got a boyfriend and everything now. So, orders from high management to not get pregnant until their world tour is over aside, Mel C has every chance of being the next Spice Girl to get pregnant. And don't forget that Mel C was the Spice Girl who kept refusing to be part of a Spice Girls reunion for all these years, so we can't see her minding all that much if she suddenly gets pregnant without warning. However, if Mel C is going to get pregnant before the end of the Spice Girls reunion it'll have to be before any of the actual concerts take place, because nobody's going to want to touch her with a bargepole once she's wriggled back into her trademark chavwear. Current Spice Girls betting odds - 3/1

Source: Heckler Spray

[Red Moon]

Spice Girls Pregnancy Betting Odds: Scary

This week we're filling the post-Big Brother betting odds voids the only way we know how - by staring at the ovaries of the Spice Girls and screaming "Fertilise, damn you! Fertilise! We've got money on this!"

That's because the Spice Girls are getting ready to reform and go on a big world tour, and that means if any of them get pregnant they'll ruin everything. But this is the Spice Girls we're talking about, so one of them is bound to get themselves knocked up before the group splits up again. But which one? It's a good job we're here, isn't it - that's exactly what we're profiling this week. Yesterday we looked at the chances of Emma Bunton getting pregnant - and today?

Today we're going to be looking at the Spice Girls pregnancy betting odds for Scary Spice Mel B, with help as ever from Paddy Power…

Scary - Ladies and gentlemen, we think we may have found you the bargain of the century here - Mel B is apparently only the second-least likely Spice Girl to get pregnant before they split up again. And that's just crazy - we can't think of a single reason why Mel B wouldn't get pregnant immediately. Sure, it hasn't been long since she pushed out Eddie Murphy's baby and another rapid pregnancy might make all her teeth fall out. But, come on, this is Mel B we're talking about - people told her not to get knocked up by Eddie Murphy and she did, then they told her that she shouldn't get married on the rebound to a convicted wife-beater and she did. Now, if we're to be believed, all the Spice Girls have been banned from getting pregnant until their reunion tour is over - so we'd be surprised if Mel B doesn't get pregnant immediately. Three times over. By a dinosaur. Current Spice Girls betting odds - 5/1

Source: Heckler Spray

[Red Moon]

Spice Girls Pregnancy Betting Odds: Posh

It's the last day of our Spice Girls pregnancy betting odds, where we've basically decided that everyone can exploit the beauty of human childbirth for financial gain. Why? Because we can.

In three months, the Spice Girls will head out on their great big comeback reunion world tour. The Spice Girls have got a lot riding on that tour - we're been told they'll earn around £10 million each from it - and the last thing any of them will want is for one of them to get pregnant beforehand, as unplanned pregnancies aren't especially girl power. But three months is an awful long time and the Spice Girls, as they say, like it up 'em. So will any of the Spice Girls get pregnant before their reunion tour is over? And if so, which one will get knocked up first?

So far this week we've looked at Baby, Scary, Ginger and Sporty, leaving just one Spice Girl for today. So here are the Spice Girls pregnancy betting odds for Posh Spice Victoria Beckham, with help from Paddy Power…

Posh - We try not to read too many weekly celebrity magazines, mostly because we're trying to cut down on the number of Kerry Katona images that we let offend our eyes and brain, but we do know that most weeks they all scream some old nonsense about how much Victoria Beckham wants a baby girl. And since Victoria Beckham is the Spice Girl who financially needs this reunion least of all, it would seem that she'd be the Spice Girl most likely to get pregnant in the middle of their big comeback. But look a little deeper and you'll see that Victoria Beckham is the actually least likely to get pregnant; she's so painfully desperate to make a name for herself in America that a pregnancy would wreck things more than anything. Plus she lives in Los Angeles now, so chances are she's getting ideas about adopting a kid from a third-world country instead of having one herself. And also, if Victoria Beckham gets pregnant, we'll be forced to imagine her having sex. For some reason we find that slightly repulsive, Current Spice Girls betting odds - 13/8

Source: Heckler Spray

[Red Moon]

Right so who will be the next Spice girl to have a child and most importantly who with?